Helping Your Child Know When Or If To Quit
Email 1
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Subject Line: I wanna Quit, Part One
Parents,
Don’t worry—this isn’t about wanting to quit being a parent. This lesson is one all parents deal with at one time or another—the issue of whether or not you should let your child quit something they are involved in.
Does letting them quit make them a failure? Are they running from responsibility? Does making them persevere make you a bad parent or is it damaging to your child’s self-confidence if they’re doing something they aren’t good at?
Follow the link to the video that will offer sound and Biblical advice for parenting your children though these situations.
Notice I said ‘these situations’ because there will be more than one. But don’t worry because I’m here to help you if you need it.
I hope this lesson will be helpful and that you will be able to take something from it that will help both you and your child feel better equipped to know when to stay and when to go.
I also want you to know how much I care about you and your family and that I am here for you.
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/148892224/e50f4923a5
Partnering With You,
Children’s Pastor
Email 2
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Parents,I hope you’ve had a chance to watch the video dealing with the subject of whether or not you should allow your child to quit an activity or walk away from a project. If not, please go back and take the time to do so soon.
We’ve all experienced times when we wanted to throw in the towel and quit something. If you don’t agree, take a minute to think about all the unfinished projects in your closet or your workshop.
Getting involved in a sport, club, or project only to discover you don’t like it or aren’t any good at it happens. The question we have to ask ourselves is when is it okay to let your kids give up and quit when this happens to them. Even Jesus walked away from situations when he knew his presence would cause more harm than good. He also instructed his disciples to leave and shake the dust off their feet in places they were not welcome. So keeping that in mind, let’s take a look at a couple of scriptures to help you help your child.
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. ~2nd Timothy 4:7
We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. ~2nd Corinthians 4:8-10
The first step in helping your kids decide when it’s okay to quit is to discuss the answer to the following question with them: How will quitting affect my life? The answer to this question will usually provide the answer to the question of “to quit…or not to quit”.
The following questions should also be asked and discussed by you and your child when making this decision.
QUESTIONS:
How will my quitting impact other people?
What will I miss out on if I quit?
Will I have the chance to try again if I choose to in the future?
Is there something I could do to change the situation without quitting?
Would this change make the situation better?
Not only will these questions help your child make good decisions, but they provide a great way to open the door to meaningful conversation between the two of you.
Partnering with you,
Preschool Pastor
Video Script
When is it OK to quit?
Did you parents ever tell you that you must finished what you started and not let you quit something that was making you absolutely miserable? That’s a great piece of advice in most situations, but what are those situations where that is not good advice? Is there ever a time that it’s okay to quit? The answer is simple. It depends.
When weighing the options of what to do next when the way gets difficult, remember, put your child in the decision-making driver’s seat with you as the co-pilot. Remember, it’s not how well you as a parent can navigate the decision-making for your child that really matters. It’s how well they can do it, especially when you’re not around.
As the parent, I want my child to have as many opportunities to wrestle with these types of questions why I’m nearby so that I can help them and coach them along in how to make the right decision. Most of the time, pressing forward to stick with a commitment is the right thing to do. With each new generation, we’ve become more accustomed to quick fixes and instant answers. Having to push through and honor commitments to events, jobs, sports, teams, projects, and clubs can be painful, but the result is the opportunity to reinforce the ideal of stick–to–itiveness that can only be developed by having to persist.
If your child is in the midst of a difficulty, talk through with some questions with him or her before arriving at an answer. Have them ask, “What will I miss if I quit?” “In what ways will other people be impacted if I quit?” “Will there ever be a time that I would want to try this again?” “What is a change that maybe I can make that would fix this problem that I’m having?” In not every situation, sticking with a commitment is the best option.
Knowing when to quit is also a necessary skill that rarely gets discussed. There are time when the best thing to do is just to cut your losses and walk away. To identify if it is best to quit, the questions that we talked about earlier are a really great place to start, but there may also be times that you need to step in, throw in the towel, and regardless of what your child is saying, do what needs to be done. Here are some questions that you ask before you allow your child to choose to quit something. “Is this activity causing me or others greater harm than good?” “Is it causing distress in other areas of my teen’s life?” “Are there any possible long term effects of continuing this activity?”
The answer to these questions could provide overwhelming evidence for the need to quit. Even more important is asking the question, “What is something that I can do to identify next time so that I will know how to avoid situations like this?” Remember, it’s to quit or not to quit, it depends, but the most important thing is that your teen chooses and can learn from this.
TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell Twitter to store a list of your tweets on one place for later reference.
Tweet One: Misery isn’t perseverance—it’s a waste of time #quittingcanbepositive #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Two: Focus on your strong points so they’ll become even stronger. #quittingcanbepositive #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Three: What is to be gained by quitting? #quittingcanbepositive #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Four: Will quitting make your life better at the expense of someone else? #quittingcanbepositive #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Five: Life is too short to waste any time #quittingcanbepositive #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Six: Smart choices lead to positive outcomes. #quittingcanbepositive #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Seven: To quit or not to quit…that is the question #quittingcanbepositive #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Eight: Always quitting is as dangerous as never quitting #quittingcanbepositive #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Nine: Finish what you start when finishing is seen as accomplishment #quittingcanbepositive #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Ten:Don’t quit on life or it will quit on you. #quittingcanbepositive #urchurchparentministry