Establishing Healthy Gaming Boundaries
Email 1
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Subject Line: Video Game Strategy, Part One
Parents,
Video games and social media are mainstays in the lives of nearly every child in the country. We can’ t really escape it. There’ s actually no need to run from these things as long as they are handled wisely and appropriately. This video provides excellent information and guidelines for Biblical parenting in today’ s tech-savvy society. Please watch the video and make every possible effort to implement what you learn into your home’s video-game policies.
I also want to remind you that I am always willing to discuss any questions or thoughts you would like to share on this or any other lesson.
I have a deep personal interest in your family and I want the best God has in store for you. Parenting isn’ t easy, but working together we can show your children the marvelous God we serve and that a life with him is more exciting than any game they will ever play.
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/148892225/34179ac731
Partnering With You,
Children’s Pastor
Email 2
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Parents,Let’s continue our goal to reign in the video game craze among our young people. I hope you’ve been able to watch this month’s Online Parenting Class on the topic of having healthy boundaries with video games.
I know most of you have heard the question “What’s so wrong with video games?” The answer to that question cannot be answered with a simple sentence or two. In fact, there are positive aspects to SOME video games (educational, visual stimulation, eye/hand coordination) in SMALL doses.
So…when setting boundaries and establishing a video game strategy in your home, remember to be Firm, Fair, and Consistent.
#1 FIRM: Set limits on the amount of time a child is allowed to game. Be resolute on what types of games are allowed to be played in and out of your home. Insist on placing parental guides on all gaming devices—including where games are allowed to be played.
#2 FAIR: Don’t ban a game based on hearsay. Review it yourself before saying yes or no. Make the rules age-appropriate (what’s fair for a 9 year old isn’ t the same for a 17 year-old).
#3 CONSISTENT: If you use gaming as a privilege to be earned, don’t go soft and let it slide. Don’t allow extra time when friends are over unless your child knows it is a privilege to be respected. Don’t relax the rules on what kinds of games are allowed. Have pre-set and pre-described disciplinary measures in place if/when your child breaks the rules.
God’s Word reminds us to ‘test’ what we do to make sure it is beneficial to our spiritual well-being.
The following verses will help you do just that:
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ~Philippians 4:8
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. ~Romans 12:1-2
Partnering with you,
Preschool Pastor
Video Script
Video Game Strategy
The greatest key to addressing the video game world of your child is consistency. Now, to have this, our children need to know from us our expectations for them and that we genuinely believe that those expectations are important. Here’s a process to consider and how to navigate the world of video games with your child. First, develop a plan. There must be a plan about when you are going to let your children play video games, how long you’re going to let them play video games and what games you’re actually going to let them play. Have the discussion with them about this, ask them first about what they think in regards to those areas. Their responses will let you know what they are thinking, to what is healthy and what is not in the world of video games.
Then, help guide them to understanding what is best for them and what is not over time, they will not get there all at once. Using their responses as much as possible when creating this plan is so valuable. You are able to move this video game plan from something that you have done as the parent towards something that you both have done as a family, giving them a part ownership in the decision making is well worth the effort it takes to make it happen. Now that you have a plan, discuss this plan with them at length. Let them know the ins and outs of what your expectations are and share with them what it looks like exactly and how you want them to respond, then, ask them to describe this plan back to you. Requiring this step will let you know exactly what they have heard and the most important part of a conversation is identifying what was heard rather than what was said and if your child can articulate to you the plan that was discussed, then you can confidently know that there was an understanding of expectations from the beginning.
The next piece is the most difficult part of the process, you have to follow through. If you’re not consistent, then your plan will never achieve the goals that you hoped would be achieved. If you have determined that a certain amount of time that your child can play video games, then you need to monitor that time and respond as you said you would when that time limit is reached. If your child’s video games were taken away for a week because of a choice that was made, then you need to follow through and keep the video game for a week rather than giving in to the pressure and returning the games after two days. What I have found as a parent is that my inconsistencies are a major factor in my child’s success, so we’ve go to be consistent and follow through.
If this is something that you struggle with, find a friend that will encourage you to be consistent. Sometimes having a few reminders and words of encouragement from someone else is all we need to stay on track on being consistent, it’s just not easy. The final piece is to begin considering at what point you’re going to start handing over the control of these decisions to your child. There’s going to be a day that you’re not going to be there to make sure that they’re not spending too much time playing video games or you’re not going to be there at the store the next time they buy one, so consider what the process of letting control in this area go looks like and start that process as they are demonstrating that they are worthy of that trust from you.
TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell Twitter to store a list of your tweets on one place for later reference.
Tweet One: Life is not a game #lifeisnotagame #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Two: Video games in small doses = good parenting #lifeisnotagame #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Three: Violent games = violent thoughts and actions #lifeisnotagame #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Four:Social skills are more important than gaming skills #lifeisnotagame #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Five: Proactive parenting keeps kids safe #lifeisnotagame #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Six: Violence is not a game—not even on a computer screen #lifeisnotagame #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Seven: Play Monopoly, not war games #lifeisnotagame #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Eight: The computer is on…do you know what your kids are doing? #lifeisnotagame #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Nine: For healthy gaming boundaries – be firm, fair & consistent #lifeisnotagame #urchurchparentministry