Manners, Politeness, and Respect
Email 1
Copy/Paste the following email:
Subject Line: Manners, Politeness, and Respect, Part One
Hello! So glad you are back!
As Christian parents, I’m sure one of your goals is to raise children who look different than the world—to stand out in this dark culture and behave in a way that honors God. But it’s tough! The world is a dark place, and kids are surrounded by many things that influence them otherwise. Your work is cut out for you.
We are here to help. This month’s Online Parenting Class video is about manners, politeness and respect. Let’s focus on one of those characteristics today: respect. Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines respect as, “high or special regard,” or “an act of giving particular attention or consideration.” Basically, when we teach our children to respect others, we are teaching them to consider them as esteemed or important.
The apostle Paul said, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves” in Philippians 2:3. The best model we have for one who respected others by valuing them more than Himself is Jesus—who went to the cross for us.
As a parent, it’s your job to teach respect to your kids when they are young. Here is a fun idea for how to help your child understand what respect “looks” like. Create a chart titled “What Respect Looks Like.” Divide it up into two columns, and then break the columns up into four rows. Label each box in the first column: in the classroom, on the playground, at home, and in my community.
Then, brainstorm what respect looks like for each of those places. Here are some examples:
In the classroom – Sitting still, raising my hand before speaking, following rules, being nice, listening to the teacher and other students, cleaning up after myself
On the playground – Being helpful, playing fair, playing by the rules, not being a bully, being aware of the little ones, listening to the playground monitor
At home – Listening to my parents or family members who are older, doing chores, keeping my room clean, taking care of my pets, obeying my parents, talking quietly
In my community – Not littering, obeying authority, keeping the front yard clean, saying hello to neighbors, thanking policemen and firemen
This is just one of many ways to teach respect. When you witness your child respecting you and others, make sure to acknowledge that you took notice. It will build them up and reinforce what respect “looks” like.
I’m praying for you and trusting God is meeting you each day as you strive to “train up [your] child in the way he should go” (Psalm 22:6). Press on!
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/200413504/bd2310ab3e
Your partner in parenting,
Children’s Pastor
Email 2
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Subject Line: Manners, Politeness, and Respect, Part 2
Hi there!
Children are a work in progress. Their behavior at two years old will be completely different at four. And their behavior at seven years old is light years away from where they will be at twelve! They must learn what is appropriate behavior . . . and what isn’t. It’s not something they will inherently know.
We are talking about manners, politeness, and respect in this month’s Online Parenting Class video. The best advice I can give you for teaching your child manners, politeness, and respect is to model it yourself. Show your child what unselfish, polite, and respectful living looks like. Treat others with kindness, share what you have, be generous, honor guests in the home, open doors for others, and speak well of people. Above all, love others because God loves you. When you live a life of integrity yourself, you will be worthy of your child’s respect.
Then, when you work on the details of helping your child act out these character qualities in real life, it will be from a solid foundation. Teach your kids that all people have value because they matter to God. Every man, woman, and child regardless of gender, religion, ethnicity, or cultural background is made in God’s image. God loves all people, and thus, so should we. If every person has value to God, then they should be treated as such.
But there are practical ways to teach your kids manners, politeness, and respect. Teach kids to address adults with titles and last names. Teach them to stand when introduced to an adult, and to respond when an adult speaks to them and look them in the eye. Teach your child that you offer their seat up to an adult—and especially to pregnant women! When they make a mistake, teach them to apologize quickly and ask for forgiveness if necessary. Teach them not to use disrespectful words or a rude tone when speaking to others. Listen, never demean or embarrass another human being, and don’t damage other people’s material possessions.
Press on in your work in parenting, and never give up in the quest to teach your kids manners, politeness, and respect. It will go well with them if you do!
My prayer for you is that you do not feel alone in your parenting. I’m available if you have questions or need support as you continue on this journey of parenting—a high calling from God!
Standing firm with you,
Children’s Pastor
Video Script
Manners, Politeness, and Respect
You know that child. We all do! The one you see at the store, or even at church, being complete rude. Maybe they have cut in line in front of someone else, seeming to have no manners. You watch in disgust as they pick their nose. You just about lose it when you hear them turn to their parent and disrespectfully demand something they want.
Manners, politeness, and basic respect are quickly fading, it would seem, in our world. The common courtesies that were part of our upbringing, for some reason, are just not making the cut on the list of things that children are learning. It does not have to be something from the past. It is not old fashion to teach our children simple culturally appropriate “dos” and “don’t’s”. Even more so, as Christian parents, seeking to raise kids that stand out in our culture. A simple way to stand apart in our world is helping our kids to act in ways that are honorable to you, themselves, and others.
1. Manners. Parents Magazine offers a list of 25 different manners children should know. They are some simple rules of how to act that your children should know. Here are a few from the list:
– The old standbys of saying “please”, “thank you” and “excuse” me.
– Not talking about other’s appearances and your opinions of them.
– Looking a person in the eyes when speaking to them, while speaking up and talking clearly.
– Knocking on a door before entering a room or home.
The list goes on, and you can think back, I am sure, about some of the basic manners you might have been taught growing up. Children, even young children, can begin to learn simple manners. Take the time and effort to introduce them early on. Talk about them, and for school age children, have them think through the reasons why these are polite.
2. Politeness. Politeness takes manners to the next level, giving some understanding to the action of manners. Politeness is something we can connect to the Biblical concepts of “honor” and “courtesy”. Titus 3:2 in the English Standard Version says “To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.”
Teaching children manners and politeness is something you teach your children because you want them to be honoring, courteous, and loving to others around them. Even simple things like covering a sneeze or holding a door open for someone is a physical way for your children to be respectful to others.
3. Politeness also teaches your children the Biblical ideas of humbleness and service. Romans 12:3 speaks to us about “not thinking too highly of ourselves.” You need to be teaching your children through the practice of manners and politeness the very important concept of respect.
4. Respect. You want your kids to be respectful to you. You want them to listen and do what you ask them. Respect, however, is not exclusive to just the relationship and response your children have with you. If your children are going to be respectful to others and in your family, they need to also learn how to be respectful everywhere and to everyone. I Peter 2:17, says it like this for us, “Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, …”
This is the time, during the childhood years, to learn how to honor and respect God through being honorable and respectful to others. It happens culturally through children having good manners and acting politely.
Texts/Tweets
TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell Twitter to store a list of your tweets on one place for later reference.
Tweet One: Children are a work in progress. #liftothersup #humility
Tweet Two: Teach respect by modeling respect. #liftothersup #humility
Tweet Three: All people have value to God. #liftothersup #humility
Tweet Four: Do not grieve the Holy Spirit. – Ephesians 4:30 #liftothersup #humility
Tweet Five: God, others, me. #liftothersup #humility
Tweet Six: Value others above yourselves. – Philippians 2:3 #liftothersup #humility
Tweet Seven: Hold others in high regard. #liftothersup #humility
Tweet Eight: Teach manners, politeness, and respect to your child. #liftothersup #humility
Tweet Nine: Teach children to live a life that is worthy of respect. #liftothersup #humility
Tweet Ten: Respect = loving others as God loves them. #liftothersup #humility