Conversations Through TV Shows and Movies
Email 1
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Subject Line: Conversations Through TV Shows and Movies, Part One
Hi there!
This month’s video is on prompting conversations through TV shows and movies!
Television shows and movies are just two media that kids watch. Beyond that, network and cable television, DVDs, and online streaming providers increase access to media for your kids. This is the world they live in, and it’s likely not going to magically disappear. Rather than fearing what they could be exposed to, commit to teaching and training your child in the why—why it’s important to learn what is okay to watch and what isn’t.
Bob Waliszewski, the author of the book Plugged-In Parenting, offers a few ideas for parents who wish to take a proactive approach to the media.
Waliszewski suggests having an honest and ongoing discussion with your child about the importance of protecting their minds—he suggests having that conversation two times per year.
In that conversation, you can talk about how the Bible encourages people who follow Jesus to guard their minds and hearts. Proverbs 4:23 says, “More than anything you guard, protect your mind, for life flows from it” and Jesus taught in Matthew 15:19 that “out of the heart come evil thoughts . . .”
Help your child to understand that the things we put in our mind—words, images, ideas—drop down to our hearts. What comes out of our hearts reflects this. If we fill our minds with good things, what comes out is good. If we fill our minds with bad things, what comes out will likely be bad.
Brainstorm ways that as a family you can make decisions about what is okay to watch and what isn’t. You may have to steer your child toward what this “looks” like. Violence, language, and even how characters respect parents in a show could be standards for what is okay or not. Of course, you’ll have to adjust these standards as your child grows and matures.
The goal is to raise children that will begin to sense that conviction in their souls when they aren’t with you—and make good and wise decisions on their own that carry in to their teenage years and adulthood.
A ten-year review of research on the impact of media on children and adolescents revealed children learn behaviors and have their value systems shaped by the media (Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry). Rather than letting the media be what shapes their value systems, commit to making your home what shapes their value systems.
I’m praying for you and your family. We are in this together!
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/206402355/002158ccb9
Children’s Pastor
Email 2
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Subject Line: Conversations Through TV Shows and Movies, Part 2
Glad to see you again!
We’ve been discussing how to incorporate God-focused and healthy conversations with your kids through TV shows and the movies. This is a tough topic, but one that surrounds your kids.
Though there are many negative consequences from the media, not all television shows or movies are bad. Rather than seeing the TV as the devil, look for ways to use what is already in your child’s world for good. Here are a few tips for talking with your kids about media—whether on TV, in the movie theater, on their computer or on their phone.
Ask questions. When a show comes on that is questionable or that communicates something you disagree with, rather than telling your kids why you think it’s wrong and shutting the TV off, ask them what they think. Jesus was a great question-asker! Ask your child, “What do you think of how that kid talked to his sister?” or “That scene was pretty violent. How did it make you feel inside? Should we consider no longer watching that show as a family?”
Explore media together. Children should be encouraged to criticize and analyze what they see in the media. Parents can help children differentiate between fantasy and reality, especially when it comes to sex and violence. When a show is excellent, steer your child toward seeing why: Was the storyline powerful? Did the actors do a good job? Was the movie good without violent scenes or bad language? Would adding those things have made the show any better? If the show had themes you don’t agree with, ask your child what they think.
Agree on shows. Involve your child in creating a list of shows that are okay for the family to watch, but also have them make those decisions because they understand why.
Rather than saying “no” to shows, always go back to God’s best. This will answer the “why.” Explain how God knows better than even moms and dads how our minds operate. The Bible gives instruction on keeping our hearts and minds pure, so God must have a pretty good reason for not wanting us to fill our minds with bad images. Teach your child that being careful about what they watch is ultimately an act of trust—believing God for what He knows is best.
Standing firm together with you,
Children’s Pastor
Video Script
Conversations Through TV Shows and Movies
Children 2 years old to 11 years old spend about 3-4 hours of screen time a day. Do the math and you realize our children a spending close to full day…24 hours a week watching TV shows and movies. We use the term “TV Shows” because that is what we used to call it when we were kids. Realistically, much of what children are watching is not coming out of the big thing in our family’s living room anymore. Kids are watching on phones, tablets, and computers as well.
There is a conversation in our children’s lives besides the ones with parents, family members, teachers, and at church. It is a conversation without your voice in it. Your children are hearing, seeing, and believing things through the TV shows and movies they are watching. It is time for you as a parent to jump in and join that conversation. Here is how…
1. Interview and Co-View. Ask to be invited to watch with your child and then continue to ask questions. Trade up being a “watch dog” for being a “watcher”. Stop glancing over your child’s shoulder and sit down with them to watch. Take the time to find out the characters and story line. Interview your child after about what they like about the characters. Ask them some questions about the story and things that happened. If you see something that might not match up with how a Christian should act, talk about it.
Interviewing and co-viewing together will open all kinds of conversations connected to what your child is watching and beyond. Looking for teaching moments, even in the negative things, opens some amazing doors if you choose to interact before you react.
2. Interaction and Reaction. Great conversations have two or more people speaking. Interacting with your child is not preaching, it is teaching. Engaging together in watching shows and movies give you teaching moments.
Too often, parents walk in to a room just in time to hear or see something that may be inappropriate, and immediately react. While there are definitely times for quick action, do not let your reaction cause you to miss important interaction.
If you are viewing something together and something inappropriate comes on, calmly turn it off and talk. Interact, asking your child why they think you needed to turn it off. Have a time talking back and forth about what you believe or what the Bible has to say about something you saw or heard. Make sure to process well, so next time your child might be the one that makes the choice for them selves to hit the off button.
Media is everywhere. There are times when you are not going to be around. Taking the opportunities to co-view, interview and interact before you react will prepare your children for those times.
Texts/Tweets
TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell Twitter to store a list of your tweets on one place for later reference.
Tweet One: Your home can be what shapes a child’s value systems. #protectkidsminds
Tweet Two: Shrewd as snakes, innocent as doves. – Matthew 10:16 #protectkidsminds
Tweet Three: Train children to set their own standards for appropriate media. #protectkidsminds
Tweet Four: Take a proactive approach to the media. #protectkidsminds
Tweet Five: Not all media is bad; train kids to discern for themselves. #protectkidsminds
Tweet Six: Teach kids to watch TV and movies with a critical eye. #protectkidsminds
Tweet Seven: Protect your mind. – Proverbs 4:23 #protectkidsminds
Tweet Eight: Whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely . . . think about those things. – Philippians 4:8 #protectkidsminds
Tweet Nine: The media is not the enemy . . . Satan is. Fight back. #protectkidsminds
Tweet Ten: Trust God to help you guide your children and what they watch. #protectkidsminds