The Power of Empathy
Email 1
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Subject Line: The Power of Empathy, Part One
So glad you are here!
Our topic in this month’s Online Parenting Class is The Power of Empathy. Children are not naturally empathetic, but that doesn’t mean it is not something they can’t learn. Empathy is different than sympathy. Sympathy expresses concern for people while remaining at a distance. Empathy requires a person imagine themselves as the other person.
The word “empathy” isn’t used in the Bible, but there are plenty of verses that speak to empathetic concern for others. For example, the psalmist wrote that God empathized with the people He created: “As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust (Psalm 103:13–14).
Jesus was also empathetic—expressing deep compassion and concern for others. Consider just three verses that show His sensitivity to people:
When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them. — Matthew 9:36
When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick. — Matthew 14:14
When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. —John 11:33, 35
When Jesus arrived at the tomb where His friend Lazarus had been buried, Scripture says “Jesus wept” (John 11:35). Clearly, Jesus experienced deep emotions toward people.
If Jesus felt such empathy for others, and if as parents we are striving to help our children become more and more like Him as they grow into young adults, then one of the best things we can do is teach them empathy. Our next email will give some practical ideas for how to do this.
I’m praying for you as you press on and stand firm in this dark world. I have many resources available if you need more information or counsel. We are on this crazy parenting journey together!
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/224798779/32f2c18497
Parenting with you,
Children’s Pastor
Email 2
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Subject Line: The Power of Empathy, Part 2
Hello again!
This month’s video provides some encouragement on the topic of The Power of Empathy.
Teaching your child empathy is a gift that you can pass on that will not only be a blessing to your child but to other relationships in their life when they are adults. There is a verse in the book of Micah that says, “And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God” (6:8 NIV). This is the essence of empathy.
Teaching children empathy is easier said than done—it’s difficult to get children to share toys, much less empathize with others! However, there are a few tactics you can use when parenting that will help foster empathy in your child.
1. Initiate conversations about what it would be like to be in another person’s circumstances. This could happen spontaneously—like when you see a homeless person on the side of the road, or it could be a directed conversation at the dinner table. Asking questions that get to the child’s heart are key: “What do you think that homeless man does when it snows?” or “If that woman has no money, how does she pay for food for her little boy?”
2. Cultivate a family lifestyle that involves helping those less fortunate. Calendar activities throughout the year that will expose kids to experiences that will help them empathize with people less fortunate. Serve food as a family at a food kitchen, or volunteer to weed an older neighbor’s back yard. Use the experience to help your child be more attune to what it’s like for people going through sad, difficult, or lonely times.
3. Model loving behavior. The best way to teach kids empathy is to model it. Kids notice everything, and though it might not seem like they are watching what you do, they are. Make sure your kids see you ministering to others in need and showing others the love of Jesus—whether it’s to the sick, the elderly, those in prison, or the homeless.
This month’s video offered some insight on what empathy is and why it is so important to be transparent and vulnerable to your kids—and how Jesus is the perfect model.
I’m proud of you for striving to parent in a way that is different than the world, and I know it’s not always easy. Press on. I’m honored to walk alongside you.
Children’s Pastor
Video Script
The Power of Empathy
My kids LOVE it when my husband and I tell them stories of when we were children. Their current favorite is a story about how my husband passed gas on a wooden pew in church. His mother was mortified. My kids love this, and not just because its about flagellants. That’s a given for sure. They love it because stories about our lives as children, give them insight into us. This is intimacy. Intimacy can also be defined as IN-TO- ME-SEE. I love my parents deeply and learned so much from them, but I often feel as if I never “Knew” them when I was a child. If you were to ask my 9-year-old self what my mother’s favorite color was, I would not have been able to tell you. Kids are naturally narcissistic. They are completely centered on themselves and the things that intentionally interact with them. It is hard for children of a certain age to look outside themselves. To focus on “OTHER.” When we share stories of ourselves with them, that interest them, we allow them to truly “See” outside of themselves and into us.
This is especially important when modeling Empathy. Empathy is the ability to see outside yourself and understand how a certain situation might affect someone else. Empathy is an important skill that teaches children to be compassionate and caring, and not children who “bully” other kids. Empathy teaches our children to love others as Christ loves us. Love is the model. How do we know how to love? We see it modeled in the way Christ has loved us.
This is especially true when disciplining our children. When our child fails we have an opportunity to share with them our own failures and how we identify with their feelings. This helps them not to feel alone in their failure or their anger, and discussing it with you, will combat their feelings of shame. When you are vulnerable and transparent with your children about your life, they feel connected to you. Close to you. They know that they can talk to you about anything because you have gone through the same things yourself.
Transparency and vulnerability may look different depending on the ages of your children. By all means, please don’t share deep personal things with children who are not emotionally old enough to process that information, but there are things about you that your children would benefit greatly knowing. Start with experiences you had when you were their age that they may not know about, tell them about thoughts and feelings you had at their age. Tell them about what made you proud of yourself; what you liked about yourself, what made you sad, fearful, angry or scared. Sharing these things with them lets them know they are not alone. Those feelings are normal. Talking to your kids at any age about your feelings, and identifying with their feelings even when they have made a poor choice in regards to their actions, promotes an Empathy that will combat feelings of shame and encourage connection. Jesus did this for us in the flesh when he was tempted with every temptation known to man. He wanted us to know that he understood us fully, and how human we are, and how easy it is to struggle with sin. He overcame our sin and shame and made a way to connect with us. He is the perfect model of empathy and He has empowered us as his children with Empathy, to defeat shame in our lives, and the lives of our children.
Texts/Tweets
TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell Twitter to store a list of your tweets on one place for later reference.
Tweet One: Model loving behavior to your kids; it speaks loudly. #empathy #lovemercywalkhumbly
Tweet Two: Strive to be a family that helps those who are less fortunate. #empathy #lovemercywalkhumbly
Tweet Three: Empathy is a beautiful gift to pass on to your children. #empathy #lovemercywalkhumbly
Tweet Four: Conversations to what it’s like to be in another person’s shoes are powerful. #empathy #lovemercywalkhumbly
Tweet Five: Be transparent and vulnerable with your kids. They notice. #empathy #lovemercywalkhumbly
Tweet Six: And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God (Micah 6:8 NIV). #empathy
Tweet Seven: Jesus modeled compassion; so should we as parents. #empathy #lovemercywalkhumbly
Tweet Eight: “Jesus wept” (John 11:35). #empathy #lovemercywalkhumbly
Tweet Nine: Children can learn empathy. #empathy #lovemercywalkhumbly
Tweet Ten: “Empathy is about finding echoes of another person in yourself.” — Mohsin Hamid