EMAIL 1
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Subject Line: Feeling the Pressure?
Dear Parents,
Do you ever think about the amount of pressure your child is under? As adults, we have come to expect pressure as a part of life, but our kids are experiencing an enormous amount of pressure at earlier and earlier ages. They feel it as they begin to learn that they have to perform everywhere in life. They have to perform at school, in sports, with their friends, and sometimes at home. This pressure they feel to perform is crushing them in many ways, and they don’t know how to navigate it all.
This month’s Online Parenting Class video will provide you with some tips as to how you can help your child deal with the pressure they feel to perform. To watch the brief video, click the link below.
[ INSERT LINK TO ONLINE PARENTING CLASS VIDEO ]
Thank you for allowing us to partner with you as you lead your family. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
Cheering you on,
[INSERT LEADER’S SIGNATURE HERE]
EMAIL 2
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Subject Line: Reduce the Pressure at Home!
Dear Parents,
As you seek to help your child navigate the pressure they feel to perform in life, have you ever considered reducing the pressure at home? That’s right, what if we, as parents, turned down the heat when it comes to performance and allowed our kids to have a place to just rest and breathe? What if we helped our kids experience a childhood that is characterized by fun, encouragement, rest, security, and peace instead of memories of pressure, stress, conflict, and anxiety? Would they be healthier in the long run? I think they would!
Check out this month’s blog article that might just give you a different perspective on your child and performance. And if you haven’t watched this month’s Online Parenting Class video, you still have time. To read the blog article or watch the video, click on the links below.
[ INSERT LINK TO M2P PARENTING BLOG ARTICLE ]
[ INSERT LINK TO M2P ONLINE PARENTING CLASS VIDEO ]
We are in this together! Let us know if there is ever anything we can do for you or your family.
Praying for you as you lead at home,
[INSERT LEADER’S SIGNATURE HERE]
To view the video, click on the link below.
Video Script
I don’t know how good your memory is, but I can remember a few things from my childhood. Now, I have to remember back further than some of you do, but I remember being in elementary school and headed off for that first day. I remember helping my mom pack my lunch box and fill up my thermos. I remember being a little nervous on the ride to school. I remember being scared to walk into the building, even though we had already been to open house and met my teachers. I remember feeling anxious and feeling the pressure that comes with being at school.
I remember playing sports, going to practice and to games and feeling the pressure from my coaches to catch or hit or throw the ball. I remember feeling the pressure to win and the pressure to perform.
I remember riding my bike and in playing in the backyard with a crew of friends for my neighborhood. I remember feeling like I needed to try to fit in with the “cool kids” on the block.
You have some of these same kind of memories too, and your kids are feeling some of the same kind of pressure you felt. Pressure is something that all kids feel, and I’m sure that’s been true throughout all of time.
But I want to point out something that I think you already know. This is something that we’ve all known for years, but I feel like the weight of it is either just starting to really hit me, or it’s just getting heavier. Most kids today are feeling not a little bit of pressure, but they are feeling overwhelming pressure when it comes to their performance, and this pressure begins to mount at an earlier and earlier age. They are learning that, “You have to perform or you’re just not good enough.” If you can’t catch or kick the ball you won’t make the travel team. If you can’t get the best grades, you won’t be set up for getting into the AP or honors classes when you get to high school. If you don’t have a cell phone and the right social media account, you’ll get left behind with your group of friends. There is pressure on our kids EVERYWHERE like there has never been before.
We all recognize that the way our kids perform in school, sports, or drama – it can have a real impact on their future. Their school performance can dictate if they can be set up to further their education, and it is important. The sports performance can give them some great opportunities and some fun experiences.
But I would ask, how important are all of these expectations around performance? Is all of this so important they should feel such immense pressure to perform that it crushes them? Is their performance so important that it should consume their childhood years and rob them of experiences they can never get back? Is the long-term benefit of getting that extra three-tenths of the grade point or average or being a little better at kicking, throwing, hitting, or catching the ball worth the lost years that so quickly fade away? Is it so important that we’re okay with our kids believing they are not “good enough” if they don’t get the best grades or get on the right team or get the best part? Is the anxiety worth it?
I say “no.” I say we have to do some things to help our kids lower their stress. We have to be pro-active in helping to steer them away from the anxiety that we know can lead to some real depression. Here are a few practical things you can maybe do to lead your kids in a more healthy direction:
Be aware of the pressure they feel from the world and the pressure they feel from you. You know how much your kids look up to you and often hang on every word you say. Steward that well and say things that will lead your kids away from feeling this enormous pressure to perform that they can so easily feel. Reduce the pressure in your home. I know it may sound crazy in a world that pushes us to drive our kids to success, but maybe lower the expectations just a little. Provide some space for them to just be kids and do whatever you can to help them have a childhood that is characterized by fun, encouragement, rest, and peace instead of memories of pressure, stress, conflict, and anxiety.
And as you help your kids navigate the things they have to do in the world, as you help them develop a sense of responsibility and some of the tools they WILL need to thrive in the world, don’t just push them through it, but help them through it. Don’t always have a posture that forces them to figure it out and develop some grit (which they definitely need). But, help them along the way. Help them learn the things they need to learn, help them step into the things they need to step into, be WITH them on their journey instead of pushing them out to figure out the journey themselves.
Take some time to think through how you can help your kids navigate the pressure they feel to perform on so many levels. Pay attention to the social pressure they are under and do whatever you can to help them develop a healthy identity that isn’t based on how they perform.