EMAIL 1
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Subject Line: Kids and Dating: Pay Attention
Dear Parents,
My guess is that there are a lot of things you think and worry about when it comes to your little ones. You think about their health and well-being. You are concerned with their physical, mental, and spiritual development and how they will grow in the next several years. I would also guess that you don’t spend as much time during this phase thinking about their dating life. Sure, you might be praying for their future spouse, but are you doing anything intentionally now to help set up your kids for a successful dating life? This month we want to provide you with some excellent ideas, tools, resources, and a little needed encouragement that will help you start an ongoing conversation with your kids about relationships and dating in an age-appropriate way and better equip you to navigate these conversations along the way.
To watch this month’s Online Parenting Class video, click the link below.
[ INSERT LINK TO ONLINE PARENTING CLASS VIDEO ]
Thank you for allowing us to partner with you as you lead your family. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
In this alongside you,
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EMAIL 2
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Subject Line: More Than “The Talk”
Dear Parents,
Your little ones have a lot going on. They are growing and developing in so many ways, and it’s a lot of fun to watch. Before you know it, they’ll be taking an interest in that someone special and making decisions about relationships, boyfriends, girlfriends, and dating. I know that it seems eons away, but if you don’t open this conversation now, then you are rolling the dice on getting caught off guard with these issues and conversations later. The stakes are just too high and your kids’ futures are much too precious to risk. So, this month we want to provide you with some ideas, tools, resources, and some much-needed encouragement that we hope will help you as a parent be better equipped to navigate leading your kids through these critical areas of life.
In this month’s blog article, you’ll discover some practical tips for laying a foundation with your kids in an age-appropriate way now so that they can engage in healthy relationships in the future. Take a few minutes to check it out. You’ll be glad you did.
And don’t forget to check out this month’s Online Parenting Class video, where we give you some thoughts and ideas on why it’s never too soon to open an ongoing conversation about relationships with your kids.
[ INSERT LINK TO M2P ONLINE PARENTING BLOG ARTICLE ]
[ INSERT LINK TO ONLINE PARENTING CLASS VIDEO ]
Hang in there and know that we are in this together! We are always here for you if you need us.
Praying with you and for you as you lead at home.
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Video Script
This month we’re talking about dating. And you’re probably wondering if you have the correct parenting video! After all, isn’t dating a teen topic? Well, yes and no. Teens are the ones going on dates, so why do we need to talk about this now while your children are young? Because it matters. One of the goals of parenting is to keep the end game in mind. Who do you want your kids to be as they grow into adulthood? What characteristics do you want to instill in them before they leave your nest? Looking ahead helps focus your perspective on how to parent along the way.
You should be prepared that some children start to take an interest in the opposite sex earlier than you’d expect. In 2021, the American Academy of Pediatrics said kids start dating at an average age of 12 and a half for girls and 13 and a half for boys. If that’s the average, that means kids also start dating at younger ages. Kids’ access to social media, whether on their own devices or on a friend’s, as well as television shows and movies depicting young relationships, present the idea of dating early, and it may not be what you want for your children. In my experience with middle to late elementary grades, I’ve seen kids as young as 3rd grade begin writing “love notes” and pairing off. They talk about having a boyfriend or girlfriend. These relationships are often benign, but it does indicate a need to have conversations early before their ideas about boy/girl relationships are fully developed based on what they hear and observe.
Young boyfriend/girlfriend situations are problematic. Parents respond in different ways. You can talk about what dating is, when it might be appropriate to start dating, and most importantly, how you feel about dating through a God-shaped lens. Or you can look at these relationships as cute, going so far as to meet the other child’s parents, and take the kids to movies or other activities so they can go on an actual date. However, when you encourage the relationships of younger children, you are placing them in a position they are not yet ready for. These early relationships need to be handled carefully. Younger kids are at a stage of development where they aren’t prepared for the emotional aspects of dating, especially defining self based on what a person you care about thinks and heartbreak when the relationship is over.
It’s not too soon to begin thinking about what your guidelines are going to be. It’s far easier to set expectations before you’re in the position where your child wants to date than it is to make up the rules on the spot. Sooner or later, your child will ask you about dating. It may be curiosity questions when they’re younger or an “I want to date” request later. It’s better to be prepared ahead of time and teach your kids the values and guidelines set in your family along the way than it is to put the brakes on when you’re in the thick of it.
So what should you as a parent of younger children need to consider?
Have conversations with your spouse about your beliefs and guidelines for dating. If you are a single parent, talk with parents of younger children and process this topic together. All parents can benefit from seeking out those who are in the midst of the dating years with their kids. Gather information from them about things they’re glad they decided upon and things they wish they would have done differently. It’s never too early to begin to define what dating will look like in your home and start talking with your kids about it as they grow up. You and your children will be better prepared when the time comes.
Here are a few questions for you to think about in these conversations:
- Why do people date? Is it purely for the purpose of looking for a spouse, is it a rite of passage, or is it to learn about navigating relationships?
- What are your guidelines going to be?
- Will you set a certain age to begin dating? Or will you use your child’s developmental ability to handle the emotional and physical side of dating?
- What do you think about group dating as opposed to one-on-one dates?
- How will you set boundaries like curfews, what are appropriate places to go on dates, and age differences?
- What should your kids look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend? What traits are important? This is a question you can actually ask your children. With younger kids, some answers may be funny, but they can also be insightful. This conversation should be a regular thing as your child grows up.
It’s hard to imagine your younger child ever dating, but the day will come. The more time you spend now preparing for the future, the more you will be glad you did when you reach that stage of parenting.