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Subject Line: Offering Grace to Our Kids
Dear Parents,
Do you ever find yourself in a situation where you are in conflict with your child? Of course you do. It’s just a natural part of family life. As your kids continue to grow and stretch their wings, there will be the inevitable struggles and relational challenges that are a part of life together. Our hope for your family is that you can learn to work through these conflicts and challenges in ways that will strengthen your relationships over time.
One of the key pieces of navigating these conflicts is learning how to live in the grace God provides and taking time to repair relationships along the way. If you, as a parent, can get into a pattern of asking for forgiveness from your child when you fall short, you will be planting seeds for a grace-filled relationship in the future. And, if you can learn to truly forgive your child when they fall short, you will be building a bridge to a stronger relationship. This month, we want to give you some tools that can help you step into parenting in a way that models the grace and forgiveness that God gives us and helps you have the relationships you long for.
Don’t forget to check out the resource called Grace and Repair in the Parenting Journey. This practical resource will help you navigate those moments in your family when conflict interrupts. You’ll find helpful prompts and questions that encourage healthy conversation for you and your child!
To watch this month’s video or download the Toolbox Resource, click on the links below.
[ INSERT LINK TO ONLINE PARENTING CLASS VIDEO ]
[ INSERT LINK TO TOOLBOX RESOURCE ]
We are praying for you!
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Subject Line: Creating an Environment of Grace
Dear Parents,
Dream with me a little. Imagine a home where both you and your kids learn to live with and under the grace and forgiveness that God offers. Imagine a place where, even in the midst of conflict, relationships are strong, and love abounds. Unfortunately, this is not a typical picture of family life, especially as our kids start to spread their wings. As they grow and continue to explore who they are, conflicts arise, and relationships fracture. As a parent, you have the opportunity to create an environment where God’s grace is truly at the center of your relationships.
In order for you to be able to offer God’s grace to your kids, you have to start with prayer. We have to ask the Lord for wisdom about our own lives as well as about the lives of our children. This month we hope to help you step into learning how to better repair your relationships at home through living in the grace that God provides and teaching your kids to do the same.
I hope you’ll take some time to look over our parenting resource, Grace and Repair in the Parenting Journey. It’s full of practical insight to help navigate building a stronger relationship with your child through intentional questions and conversation prompts. We’ve also got a helpful parenting blog for you titled “I’m Sorry” Says “I Love You.”
Be sure to check out all the resources below:
[ INSERT LINK TO M2P PARENTING ARTICLE ]
[ INSERT LINK TO M2P ONLINE PARENTING CLASS VIDEO ]
[ INSERT LINK TO TOOLBOX RESOURCE ]
Don’t ever hesitate to reach out if we can do anything for you!
[INSERT LEADER’S SIGNATURE HERE]
M2P KIDS December Parent Video Script
Hi, Parents! Thank you for joining me as we talk about the power of apologies and seeking forgiveness in the relationships we have with our kids.
The Bible has much to say about forgiveness. Psalm 86:5 reminds us of a wonderful aspect of God’s character, stating, “For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you.” God’s forgiveness is an act of His unending mercy and grace toward us. We are reminded of how He handles the sins we confess to Him in Psalm 103:10-12. “He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.” His Word instructs us that as we have experienced the Lord’s forgiveness, we need to extend that same gift to each other. We see this through Paul’s words in Ephesians 4:32. “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Teaching our kids about confession and forgiveness is an important responsibility we have to help them understand a key component of healthy relationships.
Apologizing and asking for forgiveness is not always something that comes easily for any of us. Conflict with others is so hard. It’s uncomfortable being vulnerable enough to acknowledge our shortcomings and mistakes, and pride and fear can prevent us from taking the initiative to move toward restoring relationships. But we can’t avoid conflict, so we need to become more comfortable with handling it. The goal of repair in any relationship like that between parent and child is to reestablish emotional connection and trust.
So where do we start in teaching our children healthy and godly ways to admit our wrongs and seek to fix it with those we’ve hurt? Always with prayer. We can ask the Lord for wisdom to recognize our sins and the humility to admit them and apologize to others we’ve hurt. Whenever we blow it, as we all do, we need to confess it to the Lord, ask for His forgiveness, and accept the grace and mercy He offers.
When we make mistakes that affect our children, we must start to repair the hurt. With anyone we’ve wronged, it’s important to be clear, concise, and sincere. This is especially true with children. Short explanations given in all sincerity are effective. We simply tell them we take responsibility for our words and actions, emphasizing that we know what we did hurt them. Taking time to ask our children to express their feelings validates them and affirms that what they feel isn’t trivial or unimportant to us. Hearing what they have to say gives us important insight into our kids’ hearts.
Offering an explanation about what happened and why helps them learn that we need to be cautious about what we say and do when our emotions are in overdrive. It can be as simple as “I was upset about something that happened at work, and I allowed it to come out in anger toward you.” It’s important for us to avoid making excuses or inserting an “I’m sorry, but…” statement. That shifts the blame off us and negates the heart of the apology.
Finally, asking the question, “How can I make it better?” and following through on it shows our kids that repairing things with them is very important. It assures them that our love for them is never-ending, allowing them to rest in the safety of a relationship that desires to fix what’s been broken. We want them to understand that the ultimate goal of forgiveness is to restore our relationship with the Lord and, whenever possible relationship with the one we’ve hurt.
There is so much our children learn from us as they listen to our words and observe our actions. When they inevitably make their own mistakes and hurt us, their siblings, and their friends, we can use those opportunities to guide them toward the restoration that they have seen us model. We will be able to walk them through making things right with the Lord and with others. Our faithfulness in modeling and coaching in this area helps to equip our children with tools for a lifetime of healthy relationships.