How To Handle Tattling
Email 1
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Hi Parents,
The preschool years are full of wonder, excitement, rapid development, and adventures for your little ones.
Most of these are equally exciting and adventurous for you, too, but oh, how we wish we could skip some of them…especially the art of tattling. The video that goes with this lesson is one you will not want to miss. It provides insight as to why preschoolers tattle as well as advice on how to handle this milestone in development before it gets out of hand. After you watch the video, take a few minutes to jot down your thoughts and any questions you have so we can talk about them.
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/149140805/4d818cdc61
Praying For You,
Preschool Pastor
Email 2
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Parents,
While the Bible is definitely the ultimate authority when it comes to morals, decision-making, and growing in faith, I have to say that the Berenstain Bears sure have a lot going on.
In the book, The Berenstain Bears Learn about Strangers, Brother Bear gets upset with Sister Bear because he feels like she is tattling on him. Momma Bear puts a stop to their argument and explains that Sister Bear wasn’t tattling—she was telling what happened because she was worried and upset. Momma Bear went on to say explain the difference by saying that tattling is telling on someone because you can and because you want to get them in trouble. That’s what you have to do—teach your children the difference between telling and tattling and teach them why it isn’t nice to tattle.
Before we get into that, though, let’s remind ourselves of why preschoolers tattle.
Sometimes their tattling is innocent. They’re just little town criers who want to spread the news. And then there is the fact that they are discovering the power and capability they possess to manipulate their surroundings by telling on someone.
Either way, you can squelch this trait in your preschooler by:
1.Reading the Berenstain Bear book mentioned above and talking about it afterwards.
2.Not responding to the tattling in the way your preschooler wants you to. When cause and effect don’t happen, he/she will usually stop.
3.When your preschooler tattles on someone, for an actual offense, ask “ What do you want me to do?” Then talk about their answer.
4.If tattling is frequent, simply say, “ You and __________ need to learn to get along. If you need help, I’ll help you, but I won’t listen to tattling.”
As you watched the Online Parenting Class video, I hope you were able to take a lot of encouragement from what you saw and were reminded of how important it is for us to teach our children to control their tongues. As I end this, I want to give you a couple of important Bible verses to share with your preschooler when talking to them about using their words wisely:
Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. ~Colossians 4:6
To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. ~Titus 3:2
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. ~Ephesians 4:29
Partnering with you,
Preschool Pastor
Video Script
In some homes, especially among siblings Tattling is an art form. It’s kind of like a weapon used by kids to get power by bringing the authority figure on their side.
But just to be honest, it’s sometimes hard to figure out if a child is tattling to get another child in trouble or if they are telling you something that you need to know.
How can you teach a child the difference between Tattling and Telling?
Here are four ideas to help you get rid of Tattling in your home…
First, explain the difference to them. Tattling is a normal response for most kids because it just works. Most kids have tattled and found it to be a great way to get an adult’s attention. For many kids it genuinely feels like they are doing something good to inform an adult that another child did something wrong. It’s especially confusing to kids that are natural rule followers and like to have order instead of chaos in their environment. They’ll usually use Tattling to try and control their environment.
Clear communication is a crucial first step. Explain to your child, “Tattling is when you are trying to get someone in trouble, and telling is when you are trying to be helpful or protect someone from getting hurt.”
Secondly, point out examples of Tattling and Telling. Try to catch them in the act of both tattling and telling. Help them see the difference by using real life examples of their behavior through out the day. Try to do this without expressing anger or shaming them. Instead, display the heart of a teacher who is genuinely trying to show them the difference between the two.
Third, Encourage them to practice resolving their own conflict. Many times tattling is an attempt by your child to help solve a conflict. This is a great opportunity to teach your child how to face the conflict themselves and practice using their “voice” in a situation instead of running to an adult to do it for them.
Finally, don’t reward tattling. Ok, you’ve taken the time to explain clearly what tattling is, and you’ve taught them what it looks like through “real life” examples. Now it’s time to to put their new found knowledge to the test. They probably won’t be perfect at this, so the next time they come to tattle just help them identify what they’ve done and move on. Don’t give tattling any more power in your home.
It’s seems easier to just ignore the tattling and let it continue in your family. But this is one of those behaviors that can get out of control quickly, so it’s best for you to engage your child and teach them the healthy way to respond instead of tattling.
TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell Twitter to store a list of your tweets on one place for later reference.
Tweet One: Just be nice #tattlingnotallowed #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Two: Nice words are the only words you should speak #tattlingnotallowed #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Three: Words of concern aren’t tattling #tattlingnotallowed #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Four: Parents against tattling UNITE! #tattlingnotallowed #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Five: Let the words of my mouth be pleasing to God. #tattlingsnotallowed #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Six: Tame the tongue…conquer the world #tattlingsnotallowed #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Seven: Who likes a tattle tale? NO ONE! #tattlingnotallowed #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Eight: Speak for yourself-not others #tattlingnotallowed #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Nine: Stop tattling before it starts #tattlingnotallowed #urchurchparentministry