What If You Don’t Like Your Child’s Friend
Email 1
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Subject Line: What If You Don’t Like Your Child’s Friend, Part One
Parents,
This time around weâre going to be talking about friendsâspecifically you childâs friends.
Friends are important to all of us, but to most children, friends are oxygen.
As a parent, it is your responsibility to make sure the âoxygenâ your child breathes in isnât âpollutedâ.
In other words, you have a responsibility to teach your children how to choose their friends wisely (and not choose their friends for them). This video is a great source of information and instruction on the subject of you, your child, and their friends.
Jesus calls us to love everyone; being kind, compassionate, and polite. This is what you want for yourself and your children. Itâs what I want for us all. Again, donât hesitate to let me know how I can help you and how I can pray for your family.
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/149008881/8cb49e32a3
Partnering With You,
Children’s Pastor
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Hi Parents,I pray you are having a great week and that you have taken the time to watch the parenting video for our current lesson on what to do if you donât like your childâs friend.The Bible has lots to say about friendsâhow to choose friends, what a good friend is and isnât and how to be the friend Jesus wants you to be. It would be impractical to list them all here, so I will suggest you read the 13th, 17th, and 18th chapters of Proverbs because they contain several verses on the subject. Iâm also giving you the following verses to place in your head and in your heart.
Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other;as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. ~Colossians 3:13
Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. ~Proverbs 27:17
Helping your child develop discernment when it comes to choosing their friends isnât always easy or pleasant, but it is necessary for you to do and to do right. The question most parents have, however, is what is right?
The following suggestions arenât of the âThus sayeth the Lordâ nature, but they have proven valuable over the years, so I encourage you to use them when faced with helping your child break away from an unhealthy relationship.
1.Donât accuse the friend of being a bad influence. Instead, ask your child why their attitude has changed, why they no longer like something they used to, why they are being unkind to their siblings, or why their grades are falling.
2.Get to know your kidsâ friends by inviting them into your home and by including them in activities outside your home. Not only does this allow you to assess the situation, it gives you the opportunity to be a loving, positive influence on another child.
3.Donât forbid or cut off the friendship without your childâs input. Instead, limit the friendship to your home or your supervision. If your child protests, explain why you are doing this.
4.Give your children opportunities to meet new people and make new friends. This shouldnât be forced (ex: You WILL play soccer). Let them choose an activity to become involved in. HINT: Donât tell them why you want them to have a change of scenery.
5.Last but definitely not least…PRAY for your child and his/her friendships. God is the God of all things big and small…including friendships.
Your Faithful Friend,
Preschool Pastor
Video Script
Video Game Strategy
One of the most difficult times for us as a parent is when you identify that your child’s friends appear to be pulling them down a path that they do not need to be going. You see your child beginning to change before your very eyes, and when connecting the dots you begin to suspect it’s the influence of those friends who are hanging around. When wrestling what what to do, we’ve got to think through some things.
It’s likely that a head-on approach could push your child deeper into these friendships, or worse, could develop these deep seated resentment with you and they’re not going to listen to you. What is more important than you making them change their friendships is for you to give them the tools to identify the need for that change themselves, if those influences are helping or hurting. It may be beneficial to come alongside your child and starting the conversation about friends rather than trying to force them out the door immediately.
Most friendships are not developed overnight and they will not be over that quickly either. It’s possible that your child could be in a place that the choices with friends, that they’re really dangerous or have long-term negative consequences. This is where you’re going to have to use your judgement as the parent. There is this line in which you have to draw a boundary of safety and make some difficult decisions for your child that they are not wanting to make in regards to their friends for themselves.
If this is where you are, I recommend not attacking the friend or the friends in question when you’re having the conversation about what needs to change. Keep the discussion focused on the results in your child because of those friends so that it’s focused on your teenager and not the others. Instead of saying, “Your friend Johnny is a loser and going nowhere,” consider saying, “Hey, the change in your grades and the way that we communicate is concerning to me so we’re going to have to make a change in your free time options.”
What this does is it keeps the focus on them and on you rather than inviting that friend into the discussion that you’re trying to get out. It’s important to consider the possibility that it might not be the friends that’s the source of this negative change. There are times when your child could be the one that’s actually instigating the source of change of the whole group of people and being that person of influence. It’s really painful to consider, and that’s the last thing that we want to see, but we must consider the possibility.
That allows us to walk into the situation with our eyes open so we can make the best decision moving forward. If you can remember to walk forward seeking a solution rather than looking for someone to blame, you’re going to be heading in the right direction.
TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell Twitter to store a list of your tweets on one place for later reference.
Tweet One: Good friends make life better…not worse. #bffs #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Two: Your kidsâ friends are your business. #bffs #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Three: Get to know your childâs friends #bffs #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Four: Good parenting involves teaching the art of friendship #bffs #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Five: You can be friendly without being friends #bffs #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Six: The best kind of person is the person who is kind #bffs #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Seven: A best friend wants the best for you #bffs #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Eight: A friend doesnât ask you to do something you arenât comfortable with. #bffs #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Nine: A bad friend isnâ t a friend at all #bffs #urchurchparentministry