When You’re Frustrated with Your Child
Email 1
Copy/Paste the following email:
Subject Line: When You’re Frustrated with Your Child, Part One
Hi, Parents,
I hope your week is off to a great start. This month’s Online Parenting Class is on Frustration. I pray that you can gain some reassurance from watching.
Hey, I get it. Parenting is hard no matter how well-behaved or easy your kids are. And there are times when you want to throw in the towel, lock yourself in the bathroom, or go to the mall or golf course and pretend you don’t even know those little stinkers exist. But it never takes long for those feelings to go away does it? Especially when you hear, “Mommy, I just love you so much.” Or “Daddy, I need you to kiss me goodnight.”
Most of the time our frustration as parents stems from our lack of trust in ourselves—we don’t think we’re getting things right or are afraid our preschooler’s meltdown is a sign that we’re failing as parents. Not true! Preschoolers are a unique and wonderful species all their own. So relax, take a deep breath, keep on praying, and don’t forget I’m here to help however I can.
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/149146295/f2c90ff462
In Christ,
Preschool Pastor
Email 2
Copy/Paste the following email:
Subject Line: When You’re Frustrated with Your Child, Part Two
Hey,
Are you having a good week, or are you experiencing one of those weeks parents of preschoolers would like to forget ever happened?
Hopefully in all the hubbub of your life you’ve taken the time to watch this lesson’s video to help with those moments of frustration.
Needing a break from your kids is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s a normal emotion and one you need to act on in order to be a better parent. In other words, it’s not a matter of doing so, it’s HOW you do it that matters.
#1. Instead of saying something like “You’re driving me nuts, so go play somewhere else!” say, “Mommy needs a bit of quiet time so I need you to play in there while I stay in here.”
#2. Limit the number of noise-makers (as in toys) allowed in the house.
#3. Provide a safe, secure, and fun outdoor area for your kids to play in for a while each day. This could be your backyard or a nearby park. While they’re playing, you can read a book or visit with a friend. Don’t worry, as long as they’re dressed properly, they’ll be fine.
#4. Don’t use words or phrases like: brat, you’re driving me nuts, you’re bad, get out of here, get out of my way, I don’t care, I don’t want to hear you, and get lost.
#5. Let your children know when their behavior isn’t acceptable, but do so by saying, “What you are doing isn’t very nice, so please stop.” Or “I need you to be quiet so I don’t get upset.” Or “Inside voices are the only voices allowed inside.” Or “You need to be a better listener so we can all have a good day.”
Children need boundaries but as a parent it is your job to let them know the boundaries are as friendly as they are safe. Psalm 16:5-6 is a great passage to help you remember how to be a less-frustrated parent…
“Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.” Psalm 16:5-6
Remember…your preschoolers really are a delightful inheritance.
Yours in Christ,
Preschool Pastor
Video Script
Preschool – When You’re Frustrated with Your Child
Have you ever heard that saying, “I love you, but I don’t really like you right now?”
That kind of stings to hear doesn’t it? But to be honest that’s a very real feeling we can have as parents. We spend so much time with our kids, and they spend a ton of time with us as well. We’re with each other so much it’s only a matter of time before we see each other at our “worst”.
Because we’re humans that means at some point we’re going to experience a very real frustration with the people we love the most. It’s one of the craziest parts of being a family.
Here are a few tips on how deal with frustration towards your child.
First, give yourself some grace. You’re only human, and there’s nothing wrong with feeling frustration. What’s wrong is allowing that frustration to turn into an unhealthy anger that leads to damaging conflict. You don’t have to beat yourself up for feeling frustration. Instead, you can recognize that your frustration is signaling you that “something needs to change”. So focus more on making a positive change than feeling guilty about feeling frustrated.
Second, it’s better to “respond” then to “react” when you feel frustrated. I know those words seem similar but there is a big difference. A reaction is quick and fueled with emotion. A reaction is slow, calm, and includes some thought. It’s so much easier to react, because that doesn’t require much discipline. To “respond” requires that we think before we speak.
This is the heart behind James 1:19, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry”
Finally, call a timeout when you need one. You might be saying to yourself, “I’d love to respond instead of react, but that doesn’t feel realistic.” The best way to respond is to give yourself a break from the intensity and emotion to take a breath and think about your response. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking a timeout. Just make sure to let your child our your family member know when you’ll be able to return to the conversation. You can say something like “I need to take a quick break from our conversation to calm down a bit. I’ll be back in 5 minutes to finish our conversation.” This will set a great example for your kids to follow.
Frustration in a family setting is inevitable. But screaming, yelling, and destructive conflict doesn’t have to be. Instead of feeling bad about frustration, let it cue you to take a time out and have a healthy response. This has the potential to help your family face frustration in a healthy way.
Texts/Tweets
TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell Twitter to store a list of your tweets on one place for later reference.
Tweet One: Don’t pull your hair out…take a time out #ParentsofaPreschooler
Tweet Two: God made preschoolers for a reason…to love. #ParentsofaPreschooler
Tweet Three: Time outs are for moms and dads too…they love them #ParentsofaPreschooler
Tweet Four: What you say & how you say it are equally important #ParentsofaPreschooler
Tweet Five: A home with a preschooler is a home where noise is inevitable #ParentsofaPreschooler
Tweet Six: Everyone deserves a break now and then…including parents of preschoolers #ParentsofaPreschooler
Tweet Seven: I love you all the time = what parents need to tell their preschooler #ParentsofaPreschooler
Tweet Eight: In God’s eyes we often act like preschoolers. OUCH! #ParentsofaPreschooler
Tweet Nine: YPray for parents of preschoolers you know…they want it, bad! #ParentsofaPreschooler
Tweet Ten: If you’re frustrated now, wait till your preschooler turns 12! #ParentsofaPreschooler