Helping Around the House
Email 1
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Subject Line: Helping Around the House, Part One
Hello there!
Though the end-goal is raising children who become mature, responsible adults, training children in the area of helping around the house isn’t always easy. In fact, sometimes it can be downright awful! Children will do almost anything to get out of chores. Often kids spend more time arguing about their chores than actually doing them. Some parents throw their hands up in the air and, to alleviate the tension, end up doing the chores themselves.
Ultimately, the chore is not the issue—it’s what you are training your children for. Yes, it’s often easier to run your child’s socks upstairs and put them away, or pick up the toys in the family room. But as the parent you are not only teaching responsibility but what it means to be part of something—in this case, a family. However, the longer-term goal is to teach them the importance of working together to accomplish something bigger than themselves.
Perhaps a simple shift in attitude will help create an atmosphere in the home where kids want to help with chores.
Chores teach what it means to be part of a team. One father tells his children, “We are part of a Team-Smith. We all have to work together, or the family won’t win the game!” Rather than communicating to the child he or she has to do what mom or dad says just because, strive to instill a team spirit in the home. We all work together because we are a team, and we want to “win the game.”
You can also strive to teach children to work hard, but leave time for fun. This is a value that the child will carry into adult life. Another mom says to her children, “After we work, we get to play!” When kids begin to whine and complain, remind them of something fun coming later in the day or week. When we work together as a family to keep things rolling in the house, it opens up time more time to play.
Finally, when children balk at doing chores, you can lovingly remind them cleaning up their toys is ultimately not to please mom or dad, but God. Teach them Colossians 3:23 which says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.”
Children are by nature self-focused, and it’s our job as parents to lovingly steer them toward understanding that the earth does not revolve them. Contributing to the family in the area of chores is just one way to help kids understand the big world they live in and how they play an important part in keeping it going.
I encourage you to try to make some simple shifts in the atmosphere of your home regarding chores. I am praying for you that it becomes a joy for the family and not a source of tension.
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/200406606/56152b14a0
I’m committed to walking with you as you parent!
Children’s Pastor
Email 2
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Subject Line: Helping Around the House, Part 2
So glad you are back!
Our video for this month addresses ideas for engaging your children in Helping Around the House. Helping around the house is a simple way to teach your kids to apply godly truths about hard work and responsibility.
Don’t miss out on great discipleship moments by passing off your child’s age or ability as why they can’t do chores. Participating in household tasks is something even very young children can do! However, assigning tasks that are clearly over your child’s head will make chore time terrible for everyone. The following ideas will get you started on age-appropriate chores.
Then it’s your turn to be creative and brainstorm jobs appropriate for your child.
2- and 3-year-olds: Shine the bathroom sink with a towel, carry dishes to the sink, pick up toys, fold washcloths, or tear lettuce for the salad.
4- and 5-year-olds: Sort socks, put away toys, help set the table, carry dishes to the sink, stack magazines, put away dishes, or dust.
6- and 7-year-olds: Take the dog for a walk, empty the dishwasher, prepare lunch, make the bed, weed garden, or rake leaves.
8- and 9-year-olds: Set the table, load the dishwasher, clean the bathroom sink, feed, brush, and bathe the pet, put away laundry, or empty the trash in the bathrooms.
10- and 11-year-olds: Bring in the mail, run the dishwasher, vacuum, fold and put away laundry, take out the garbage, put away dishes.
12- and 13-year-olds: Do laundry and put it away, change sheets, mow the grass, make simple meals, clean the shower and toilet, wash windows, or wash and vacuum the car.
The key to each age and responsibility is to help the child succeed and extend praise. Even very young children want to feel like they did something right and that they were able to contribute to the family and do something “grown up.” Though you may have to re-do some of the tasks, always remember the reason you are having your child help around the house—to help them learn responsibility. Taking responsibility is a normal part of growing up.
I hope this month’s Online Parenting Class has given you some tangible ideas for helping around the house. I am praying for you and your family!
Press on in parenting,
Children’s Pastor
Video Script
Helping Around the House
We all want to raise children that will someday become responsible and independent adults, right? The Biblical goal of parenting is to disciple our children through their years with us getting them ready to be launched into adulthood. The process is not just a spiritual one, but also one of teaching responsibility.
This does not happen overnight. It starts when children are young. Even toddlers can be taught to clean up their toys. As children get older they certainly should be expected to help around the house. Being responsible adults begins by being taught simple responsibilities during childhood.
If we want to see our children leave our home, to have a home of their home, we need teach them how to take care of the home the live in now. If we pray for our children to have a successful life with a great job, we need to give them little jobs now.
We however fall in to the trap of doing thing for our kids, instead of teaching them to do things for themselves. It is easier and even faster to clean up the mess ourselves. It is more convenient not to have to redo something, instead of letting a child give it their best try.
Here are some ways to begin to allow your young children to help around the house.
1. Think Age Appropriate. Pre-school age children as early as 2 and 3 years old can learn 2-3 step tasks: putting away toys, throwing away trash, or even feeding a pet. Early elementary children can begin to do next level 3-4 step tasks, with a bit more responsibility: making beds, emptying waste cans, and serving themselves by making simple foods like a bowl of cereal. During the mid to late elementary years children can take on bigger and more significant roles helping around the home through doing dishes, cleaning, and helping with meal preparation.
The key to each age and responsibility is feeling successful and receiving praise. Children, even young children, want to feel like they did something right, they were able to contribute and got to do something “grown up”. Taking responsibility is a normal part of growing up.
2. Be Patient and Be Okay with Imperfect. Your schedule is packed and your time is tight, so having to slow down and allow your children to help is actually more of an effort. Waiting on something to be done, instead of quickly doing it yourself is a conscious choice. It is important to know up front to brace yourself for the wait and be patient. Slowing down and letting your children do, is more valuable than rushing to the next thing on your schedule.
The other challenge for you is allow things to be done but your way. Children helping and taking on responsibility means a bit of imperfection in the end result and that is okay. The process is more important than the end result during these years. Your child is learning, so take a breath. If you really have to, re-do it when they are not around.
3. Make it a Life Lesson. Children helping around the house and taking responsibility is a wealth of life lesson waiting to happen. Make sure to not only assign tasks but also apply wisdom. When your child does something right, encourage them. When your child forgets to do something, lovingly remind them and take time to make it a time of instruction.
A child helping around the house is a simple way of applying Godly truths about hard work and responsibility. Don’t miss out on these great discipleship moments.
Texts/Tweets
TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell Twitter to store a list of your tweets on one place for later reference.
Tweet One: Create a team atmosphere in your home. #teamwork #workhardplayhard
Tweet Two: Praise your kids for working together to get jobs done. #teamwork #workhardplayhard
Tweet Three: The earth does not revolve around your kids. #teamwork #workhardplayhard
Tweet Four: Work for God with all your heart. #teamwork #workhardplayhard
Tweet Five: Our family is a team. #teamwork #workhardplayhard
Tweet Six: Work hard, play hard. #teamwork #workhardplayhard
Tweet Seven: Teach kids to work for something bigger than themselves. #teamwork #workhardplayhard
Tweet Eight: We don’t work for human masters. #teamwork #workhardplayhard
Tweet Nine: Remind your kids of something fun ahead when doing chores. #teamwork #workhardplayhard
Tweet Ten: Remember the end goal; train your children up in the way they should go. #teamwork #workhardplayhard