Disappointment: How Do I Respond When My Kid Disappoints Me?
EMAIL 1
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Subject Line: Dealing with Disappointment
Dear Parents,
It’s a subject that we might be afraid to talk about, but when our kids aren’t perfect we sometimes can feel disappointed. As soon as we feel it, we can be tempted to feel shame. How could we ever feel that way about our child? Â
In today’s video we learn that feeling disappointment is natural, and it says way more about our need to adjust our expectations than our parenting skills.
To watch the brief video, click the link below.
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/649305902/344718ef4b
Thank you for the privilege of partnering with your family. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
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EMAIL 2
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Subject Line: Disappointment is a Call to Action
Dear Parents,
When our child makes a decision that disappoints us, we can quickly feel anger and frustration. That feeling is our heart simply telling us that something needs to change. God uses this to lead us to a positive plan of action if we allow Him to do His work in us.
In our parent video this month, we talk through how to respond to disappointment in a healthy way. Â
To get started, click on the link below.
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/649305902/344718ef4b
As always, I enjoy partnering with your family. Please let me know if you have any questions.
Thank you,
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VIDEO
SOCIAL MEDIA SWAG
One of the hidden shames that a parent can feel is when they experience disappointment in their kids. It’s not wrong to feel disappointment, and there is a healthy way to respond. We discuss that in this month’s parent video.
We just released the parent video for the month. It’s all about how to respond when we feel disappointed in our kids.Â
How do we respond when our child makes a decision that we’re not proud of? We discuss that in this month’s parent video.
We offer 3 ways to respond when you feel disappointed in a decision your kid has made. Check your inbox for more information.
VIDEO SCRIPT
Do you know that moment when you see your child make a decision that disappoints you? Maybe you find out they bullied someone or talked back to a teacher. Maybe they failed their first project or used harsh words with their siblings.
Every parent on the planet experiences the feeling of disappointment in their child, one way or another. It’s normal and developmentally appropriate within the parent-child relationship. And when it happens, it’s like that moment when you expected to get a bike for Christmas and got socks. So, the question is: What do you do with disappointment?Â
First, admit it. As simple as that sounds, sometimes, it is hard to admit we are disappointed in our child for one reason or another. But it’s an important step to take before we interact with our child to give the appropriate consequences needed because if we don’t, we can react rather respond.Â
Second, acknowledge to yourself that your child is human. Here’s what I mean. When they come into this world, they are adorable little creatures with their cute outfits and smell good lavender lotions. Then they grow out of the diapers, and now they have cute little sayings and give lots of cuddles. How can there be any human error in this precious, little, perfect angel? Well, it only takes a few days on an elementary playground to see the not-so-perfect side come out. And it’s during the elementary years where we see they are human, just like us, and we see our kids aren’t perfect and are in need, too. So when an incident occurs, and you’re disappointed, it’s healthy to acknowledge they are human.
Third, when the time is right, grieve what is needed. This moment is an important part of the process of being able to let go, so you don’t continue to bring it back up. Depending upon the level of disappointment, it may take minutes or months to work through the sadness of what happened. Acceptance looks different for each person, from a solo run on the trail to a quiet afternoon on the golf course to a five-page journal exercise. The goal is to let your mind wrap around the fact that it’s happened, and it’s time to accept it and take the next step.
These three tips: admit, acknowledge, and grieve, may be awkward for the first few times you try it, but over time, it can become a habit that you practice within the relationship to your child. Keeping your heart emotionally healthy will give you the freedom to continue parenting your child spiritually and emotionally AND get you ready as they transition into the teenage years.