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Subject Line: Surrounding Your Kids

Dear Parents,

When you think about how your kids are being shaped and influenced, what comes to mind? What are the voices that are coming their way? What are those voices saying, and where are they leading them? Of course, you kids have to listen to you in lots of ways, but when it comes to learning about God and growing in their faith, are there other voices present in their lives? Are there other people you trust who are building relationships with your kids in order to speak the truth to them?

This month’s Online Parenting Class will help you to think through whether your kids are surrounded by the voices they need to be hearing and share some things you can do to intentionally surround them with the people in their lives who will encourage them in the right direction. As a parent, you have the opportunity and arguably the responsibility to put your kids in proximity with voices that will help them move along in their journey of life. Now, it’s no secret that this takes work and effort on your part, but it’s so worth it in the long run.  This month, you’ll find a practical resource by Rich Griffith on how to disciple your kids. In life, it is easy to get caught up in the mundane and routines and miss out on the moments God has already given you to disciple your kids. Be sure to take time to read through the linked PDF below to find some practical ways you can either start or grow in when it comes to discipleship in your home. Rich is a long-time pastor, author, parent, and professor. He has spent many years focusing his ministry on parenting and ways parents can disciple children. He has some great insight!

To watch this month’s video or download the Toolbox Resource, click on the links below.

[ INSERT LINK TO ONLINE PARENTING CLASS VIDEO ]

[ INSERT LINK TO TOOLBOX RESOURCE ]

Cheering you on and here to help however we can!

[INSERT LEADER’S SIGNATURE HERE]

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Subject Line: A Great Cloud of Witnesses

Dear Parents,

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith.” This encouragement comes from the New Testament book of Hebrews in chapter 12, verses 1-2, and clearly reminds us that we all need people in our lives who will push us in the right direction. As parents, you need outside voices in your lives speaking into who you are and where you are going. And guess what? If you need it, so do your kids!

This month, we have several great resources that can help you as you seek to disciple your children. We all know this isn’t something that happens on its own or even easily. It takes time, effort, and encouragement along the way. Don’t forget to check out the Parent Toolbox Resource this month, which includes a free resource from Rich Griffith titled “Ways to Disciple Your Children “As You Go.” Rich provides several practical steps you can begin to do in your home to better disciple your kids. We are also providing you with an article titled Filter Out The Noise that will remind you of the spiritual filter you are for your children. Your children have many voices that speak into them, but they still need help filtering out what is helpful, hurtful, or wise. So, as parents, what are some steps you can take to help filter out those voices? Be sure to read through this article to help filter out the noise for your children!

To watch this month’s video, download the Toolbox Resource, or read the Blog Article, click on the links below.

[ INSERT LINK TO M2P PARENTING BLOG ARTICLE ]

[ INSERT LINK TO M2P ONLINE PARENTING CLASS VIDEO ]

[ INSERT LINK TO TOOLBOX RESOURCE ]

Thank you for letting us partner with your family! Let us know if there is ever anything we can do for you or your family!

Praying for you as you lead at home,

[INSERT LEADER’S SIGNATURE HERE]

M2P KIDS August Parent Video Script

So, here’s my guess. If you’re watching this video, you likely have younger kids and you are just trying to survive day to day. I can remember when we were in that phase of life, and someone told us the phrase: “The days are long, but the years are short.” You’ve likely heard some version of this in your parenting journey … “Don’t blink because it’ll soon be over.” Well, let me give you another phrase or principle that might apply to you when it comes to our conversation today: “Begin with the end in mind.” When it comes to the long-term faith development of your child, you are somewhere near the beginning, and I want to paint a picture for you of where you might want to be, not necessarily at the end but several years down the road.

Our daughter recently graduated from high school, and it’s been a fun few months going through a lot of really special events. We recognize that we’re not at the end of our parenting, but we are at the end of a very important season. Probably the most meaningful event we’ve been a part of as we’ve wrapped up high school was a dinner we hosted at our house where we invited a group of women who have been loving and leading her in different ways over the last number of years. It was two women who had been leading her small group at church for the last seven years. It was a young lady who works in the children’s ministry at our church, where our daughter has been serving for a few years. There were a few members of the student ministry staff at our church who have been pouring into her. It was a few family friends who have been a part of her life for a long time. And there was my wife and me. We had dinner together, and then we moved into a time of sharing. We had asked all of these women to write a letter to our daughter and speak some words of encouragement to her as she was finishing this chapter of her life. We wanted for some of the people who have had a tremendous impact on her to have a chance to share what they see in her and how she has grown in her faith. These were some voices that had been speaking into her life for years, and my wife and I were so thankful for that event and for the years and years of investment into our daughter.

Hebrews chapter 11 is often referred to as the “faith hall of fame.” It’s where the writer talks about a lot of people like Moses, Abraham, and Noah … people who scripture says were “commended for their faith.” Then, chapter 12:1-2 says this: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.”

The story I described to you is a great cloud of witnesses that have been around my daughter as she has grown up. These women, along with a lot of other people, have provided consistent, healthy, faith-filled voices that have had a tremendous impact on my daughter, and a lot of these relationships started when she was just a kid. Our son, who is a few years older than her, had a similar group of men in his life and we were able to have a similar dinner for him when he graduated high school.

The purpose of these witnesses, these voices is to help our kids learn how to run with perseverance the race marked out for them. My wife and I have been praying that our kids would learn how to fix their eyes on Jesus, and these men and women have been instrumental in pushing them in that direction.

So, my encouragement for you today is to do everything you can to start the process of surrounding your kids with witnesses like these. Find people who are the voices you want your kids listening to and put your kids in proximity with them. Now is the time to start doing this. We all know that there are a lot of voices speaking into the lives of our children, voices like friends, coaches, and teachers. And, as your kids continue to grow up in the technological world we all live in, there will be lots of voices online. I know you want to shelter them from these voices as long as you can, but they will know about and follow people on YouTube and eventually on other social media platforms. There will be lots of voices that are speaking into their lives for sure so, as parents, we need to make sure that they are listening to the right voices as they grow and develop.

How do you make sure your child is surrounded by healthy, faith-filled voices? Well, you have to know and build relationships with healthy and faith-filled voices. This can be at your church or, in the community, or in your extended family. You have the capacity to essentially turn a dial in your kid’s life and insert some really important voices. But this does take work and sacrifice on your part. If you want for some of the people at your church to be key voices in the life of your child, then you need to be a real part of your church. You need to be invested in both the organization of the church and the people in the church so your child can have more opportunities to rub shoulders with and get to know people who can pour into them over the years.

Last thing. I would also encourage you to help your child value having healthy, trusted voices in their life. Help them understand that who they are listening to will have a tremendous impact on their thoughts, beliefs, and actions. Help them embrace Proverbs 13:20, that says this, “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” We want for our kids to not suffer harm, and we want them to grow wise, and part of the way they grow wise is to, yes, be surrounded by their peers who are walking in the right direction, but to also be surrounded by adult voices that are helping them grow wise in the Lord.

Our kids have a lot of voices coming their way, and sometimes, we have very little control over the influence of these voices. We, as their parents, have the opportunity, and I would argue the responsibility to surround them with a great cloud of witnesses who are being the trusted voices that our kids desperately need!

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Subject Line: Having Healthy Conversations

Dear Parents,

As you move through your daily life with your family, there are lots of conversations that happen along the way. Unfortunately, some of those conversations can turn into conflict and create distance between you and your child. Learning how to have healthy conversations and navigate conflict well is hard for everyone, and your child is hopefully developing the tools they need in this area of life. As their parent, you have the opportunity to lead them to the healthy thoughts and practices they will need as they deal with conflict in their lives.

This month’s Online Parenting Class will give you some practical suggestions on how to approach conflict and have healthy conversations in your family. We highlight a few verses in Ephesians 4 where Paul says, “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” We also want to equip you with a special Parent Toolbox Resource that will encourage you to focus on building solid relationships with your child so that you can have the conversations you need to have with them as they grow. This downloadable PDF reflection titled “Their Voice” shares some thoughts and a few thought-provoking questions concerning the importance of affirming the voice of your child as they grow and develop their own voice through their opinions, desires, passions, and thoughts. Imagine what having healthy conversations around conflict in your home would do for you and your family.

To watch this month’s video or download the Toolbox Resource, click on the links below.

[ INSERT LINK TO ONLINE PARENTING CLASS VIDEO ]

[ INSERT LINK TO TOOLBOX RESOURCE ]

You can do this! We are always here for you if you need us.

Cheering you on,

[ INSERT LEADER’S SIGNATURE HERE ]

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Subject Line: Encouraging Healthy Conversations with Your Children

Dear Parents,

In today’s fast-paced, screen-filled world, our kids are increasingly reliant on technology for information and communication. As they move deeper and deeper into the digital space, they can lose the ability to engage in meaningful face-to-face conversations. As kids learn and grow, it’s so important for parents to help them develop the essential communication skills that they will need along their journey of life. They need to be able to have face-to-face conversations where they can build relationships, ask questions, and learn to share what is going on in their life. As a parent, you have the opportunity to model to your child what it looks like to communicate well and have healthy conversations that are grounded in faith.

We know all this can sound intimidating, but remember, you are not in this alone. We are here to walk alongside you, pray for you, encourage you, and even equip you with tools to help you live this out. If you haven’t checked out this month’s resources, we hope that you will. They can help you continue to grow in your own communication and lead your family in a healthy direction. Take a few minutes to watch our Online Parenting Class for some needed encouragement, or read this month’s blog article titled “Two Cans and a String – Building Strong Connections Through Conversation” for some ways you can practice connecting with your child through great conversations. Also, don’t forget to download the Parent Toolbox Resource that will give you a series of questions to work through as you seek to parent well. Each of these incredible resources was created to equip, encourage, and help you be the best parent you can be. You got this!

To watch this month’s video, download the Toolbox Resource, or read the Blog Article, click on the links below.

[ INSERT LINK TO M2P PARENTING BLOG ARTICLE ]

[ INSERT LINK TO M2P ONLINE PARENTING CLASS VIDEO ]

[ INSERT LINK TO TOOLBOX RESOURCE ]

We are in this together! Let us know if there is ever anything we can do for you or your family.

Praying for you as you lead at home,

[INSERT LEADER’S SIGNATURE HERE]

M2P KIDS July Parent Video Script

One of the things that is difficult about parenting is the fact that there it feels like there is so much to pay attention to. As our kids get older and encounter more things, there is more that we have to teach them so that they can effectively navigate the world. At the same time, it feels like an entire generation is losing a skill that is vitally important, and that is the ability to simply have face-to-face conversations. They are learning to communicate with each other and with us through screens, devices, and apps, and all of this is being introduced to kids at earlier and earlier ages. They use and need devices in school and their friends get phones and learn how to communicate via text or some other social media. If we’re honest, we, as parents, can play into this trend because allowing our kids to use all of this technology sometimes makes life easier for us. But our kids need to learn that communication happens best when we can just talk … when we can have a conversation about what is going on, and we can deal with whatever issues are at hand.

Here are a few suggestions for you as you think through helping your kids learn how to have healthy conversations. And I want to frame these suggestions with this scripture: Ephesians 4, starting in verse 1: “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”

First, model living a life of faith. Model doing what you can to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Now, you may wonder what this has to do with having conversations, and I would say it has a lot to do with it. When we, as adults, are grounded in our faith, and we are modeling what it looks like to authentically follow Jesus, it speaks volumes to our kids in every way. The picture of faith that our kids see in us has an impact on how they see their life and their faith. What we think, what we say, and how we act influences what they think, what they say, and how they act. If our kids can see us stepping into our conversations with a foundation of faith, they are more likely to do the same.

Next, model having healthy conversations. Let your kids see you talking to your spouse or your parents, or your siblings in healthy ways, especially when there is conflict or tension. If we hope to have good and healthy conversations with our kids, then they need to believe that we are capable of having good and healthy conversations, and that starts with what they see us do. If our kids know that we have issues with a family member or a friend and they hear us either talk bad about that person or lose it in a conversation with that person, they may shy away from talking to us because of what might happen. But, if our kids are used to seeing us doing what Paul says in Ephesians … “Being completely humble and gentle; being patient, and bearing with one another in love,” … then they’ll believe that’s how we’ll be in our conversations with them, even when there is conflict.

Finally, when it comes to having real conversations with your kids, resist the urge for most of your real conversations to be lectures or sermons. Sure, there are definitely times when we need to be firm and take the time to instruct our kids on certain things, but I would encourage you to make that the exception rather than the norm. Build a relationship with your kids that is based not on what you need to them to do or learn but on who they are and the connection you have. I once had someone tell me that we, as parents, need to learn how to talk about everything so we can talk about anything. We need to have a thousand small, maybe meaningless, conversations so that our kids will get used to talking to us. We need to care more about the connection we have with our kids than we are with the content we deliver to them. If we’re going to be able to have the kinds of conversations we want and need to have with our kids, we need to have the kind of relationship that can bear the weight of those conversations.

The last part of the scripture I shared from Ephesians says this: We need to “make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” In our relationships and our conversations, particularly with our kids, we have the opportunity to build unity and bring peace. What would it look like in your home if the conversations you had didn’t bring division and angst but they brought unity and peace? My guess is that your home would be a more joyful place to live, and you would be more likely to have the conversations you want and need to have and build the relationships you want to build.

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Subject Line: Embracing a Different Kind of Discipleship

Dear Parents,

We all know that leading and guiding kids can be hard, and there always seems to be a lot to focus on. Not only do you have to keep everything running in your house, but you also have to teach your kids so many practical things as they progress in their journey of life. What often gets crowded out are the important lessons of faith that will lead your child to be a true disciple of Jesus. Just getting through the days can be overwhelming, so finding time to focus on the bigger issues of life seems impossible.

This month, we hope to help you have a different picture of discipleship and maybe make things a little easier for you as you lead. Discipleship doesn’t have to be an intimidating process, and we hope the resources we are providing will help you step into some simple things that will help both you and your kids. We have a great Online Parenting Class that will get your mind thinking in a different direction. Our Parent Toolbox Resource this month is a free chapter from a book called First-Century Youth Ministry: A Look Back For The Way Forward In Youth Ministry Discipleship, where author Heather Quiroz encourages us all to learn from the norms and practices of the first century and learn to value some different things. Don’t be fooled by the title; this resource will provide you as the parent of a non-teenager with a lot to chew on when it comes to how we think about discipleship, and it also offers some steps we can take to reclaim some of the ancient practices Jesus used with His disciples that would serve us well. Take a moment to download it and give it a read. Our goal is to help you make discipleship a normal and natural part of life at home. Let us know how we can help.

To watch this month’s video or download the Toolbox Resource, click on the links below.

[ INSERT LINK TO ONLINE PARENTING CLASS VIDEO ]

[ INSERT LINK TO TOOLBOX RESOURCE ]

Cheering you on!

[INSERT LEADER’S SIGNATURE HERE]

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Subject Line: Walk with Me as I Walk with Jesus

Dear Parents,

When you think about your faith and how you are growing as a believer, can you picture being on a walk? Not a walk where you are all alone, but a walk where you are side by side with the creator of the universe. Picture a walk where you are being guided, learning, seeing new things, and understanding more and more about the world and yourself. Think of being on a walk with Jesus. Being a disciple is much like this kind of a walk. Jesus invites us all to follow Him as we move through the world, and it is comforting to know that we can follow a God who is a worthy leader.

As a parent, you have the opportunity to take your kids on a walk, too. You can invite them to walk with you as you walk with Jesus. That’s discipleship! It doesn’t have to be difficult. You don’t have to have all the answers to all the questions or know all the ins and outs of theology. You just need to walk with Jesus and invite your kids to be on the same journey.

This month, we have a lot of great resources that can help you embrace this mindset and practice a different type of discipleship in your family. Don’t forget to check out the Parent Toolbox Resource this month, which is a free chapter from a book called First-Century Youth Ministry: A Look Back For The Way Forward In Youth Ministry Discipleship, where author Heather Quiroz encourages us all to learn from the norms and practices of the first century and learn to value some different things. This month, we also want to provide you with an article titled Along The Way: Everyday Discipleship that will remind you that the Lord designed the family to be the primary place where faith is passed on through regular, simple, everyday moments lived together. And it’s in “along the way” places where we put our faith into practice. If you haven’t yet watched our Online Parenting Class, we would encourage you to do so as you think through this important topic.

[ INSERT LINK TO M2P PARENTING BLOG ARTICLE ]

[ INSERT LINK TO M2P ONLINE PARENTING CLASS VIDEO ]

[ INSERT LINK TO TOOLBOX RESOURCE ]

We are in this together! Let us know if there is ever anything we can do for you or your family.

Praying for you as you lead at home,

[INSERT LEADER’S SIGNATURE HERE]

M2P KIDS June Parent Video Script

As parents, we all have to embrace the responsibility of nurturing, guiding, and teaching our kids. Like you, ever since my kids entered the world, I’ve been keenly aware of the need to provide them with a solid foundation for growth and development. If I were to describe my role into one word, it would be that of a leader tasked with helping my kids become the people they are meant to be in the eyes of God.

Now, as we talk about parental duties in the church, there is one thing that often arises, and it’s the reality that you and I are the primary spiritual leaders and faith developers of our kids. We are responsible for their discipleship. If faith holds any significance in our lives and fostering a genuine relationship with God is a priority for our family, then it becomes really important to not only lead our kids but also to disciple them. This involves more than just exposing them to religious teachings or sporadic church attendance; it means that we have to take steps toward creating an environment in our home that is conducive to spiritual growth and development.

One critical piece of this is the idea that if we want our kids to be growing as disciples we, as parents, must also be growing as disciples ourselves. It is incumbent upon us to embody the principles of discipleship, showing our kids a tangible example of what a mature faith looks like. While we can’t be perfect (no one can) … we can try to lead by example and foster an atmosphere of discipleship within our homes.

Over my three decades of experience in family ministry and over twenty years of being a parent, I’ve observed a tendency that parents have to inadvertently hand over the spiritual development of their kids to the church. We do this for a lot of reasons. We don’t feel like we have all the answers. We’re not educated enough in theology or doctrine. We’re not living the life of faith we want to live, and we’re scared our kids are going to sniff it out. So, it’s just easier and maybe better if we leave the spiritual development to someone else … to one of the “professionals.” While I deeply value the influence of church leaders and programs, I recognize that my role as the primary influencer in my kids’ spiritual journey is not something that I can give away.

So, what does it mean to embrace this role? How do we go about discipling our kids? Contrary to what you might expect, it’s really not as daunting as it appears.

Heather Quiroz is a friend, ministry leader, and author who wrote a book called “First Century Youth Ministry. “In her book, she talks about the manner in which Jesus led and instructed his disciples. One of the central parts of what Jesus did was live in community. Jesus modeled what it looked like to allow obedience to the Father to permeate every aspect of life. We tend to compartmentalize our faith and make sure it fits within our busy schedules. But what if we took a cue from the Jewish culture of the first century and we worked to integrate our lives fully into a relationship with God?

When it comes to discipling our kids, quality of time matters. Not just a time where we all live in the same house and we all work to be successful and get things done. We need genuine community where we are fully engaged with one another and we build shared experiences that are centered on faith. As parents, we have to be willing to set aside all of the distractions that can easily grab our attention, and we have to prioritize our children’s spiritual well-being. We have to lead them towards a deeper understanding of God.

Here’s the good news … like other than the gospel good news … but related …

This journey of discipleship is not about having all the answers or, controlling behavior, or creating an illusion of perfection. Instead, it really revolves around fostering authentic community and prioritizing a life lived in alignment with God’s will. This all requires effort and sacrifice, but I promise you, the rewards far outweigh the challenges.

So, if I had to boil it down for you, I would say this: If you want to help your kids become disciples of Jesus, then walk with Jesus yourself and invite your kids to walk with you. Maybe simplify it a little, slow it all down, and value relationships and community. Walk with Jesus and invite your kids to walk with you as you walk with Him. If you simply do that, you’ll be laying the foundation for a journey of faith that will shape their lives for years to come.

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Subject Line: Caring for Your Kids

 Dear Friends,

There are lots of different roles that you play as a parent. You are sometimes a chauffeur, sometimes a cook, sometimes a personal assistant, and always a guide. Your kids need a lot from you, and there is always something to be paying attention to. Because of the pace of life, you might miss doing the thing your child likely needs the most. You might not care for them in the way they need it.

At this point, you are likely saying, ‘What are you talking about? I care for my child deeply!” That’s true, but lots of parents mistake guidance for care, and they are not the same. Your child very much needs you to provide for their needs and point them in the right direction when it comes to a variety of different issues and circumstances. But possibly more than that, they need you to care for them on a deep, personal level. They need to feel that care and know that you want to lead them in more than a functional way. To use a biblical metaphor, think of yourself as a shepherd. Look at your shepherding in more than just a practical sense where you want to keep your sheep safe. Think through how you can really care for your kids, understanding more about them and their world, what they are experiencing, and what they need. If you do, you’ll have a stronger relationship with them, and they will be better equipped to handle the world because they know you care.

This month, we want to encourage you to take your care to a different level. The care that we are talking about goes much further than simply providing direction or meeting physical needs. It starts with the heart and seeks to meet your child’s emotional and spiritual needs. To help you think through this idea of care and help you live it out at home, check out this month’s Online Parenting Class and Parent Toolbox Resource. They will provide you with some insight, wisdom, and a list of practical ideas that will help you step into caring for your child in a deeper way. There are easy yet practical things that you can do that will incline your heart to care for your children in a different way and demonstrate that care in everyday life.

To watch this month’s video or download the Toolbox Resource, click on the links below.

[ INSERT LINK TO ONLINE PARENTING CLASS VIDEO ]

[ INSERT LINK TO TOOLBOX RESOURCE ]

You can do this! We are always here for you if you need us.

Cheering you on,

[ INSERT LEADER’S SIGNATURE HERE ]

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Subject Line: Shepherding Your Kids

Dear Parents,

When it comes to parenting your kids, where do you put your focus? Are you fixated on helping them learn all the right information so they can be “successful” in life (whatever that means)? Are you intent on getting them onto the right team or into the right class or attached to the right group of friends so they can excel in the world? None of these things are inherently bad or wrong, but they might not be the best things for you to focus on. What if you decided to really focus on their heart and cared for them in a way that goes beyond the mechanics of life? What if your care for them led them to a place where they experienced life in a different way and felt a true sense of peace?

In Scripture, we are told that Jesus is our Good Shepherd. He cares for us, His sheep, in a personal and relational way. He reminds all of us that we, too, are to think like shepherds, caring for the sheep in our lives like God cares for us. Your child is a sheep in more ways than one and needs the care and guidance of a shepherd, not just the direction of a leader. We know all this can sound intimidating, but remember, you are not in this alone. We are here to walk alongside you, pray for you, encourage you, and even equip you with tools to help you live this out. If you haven’t checked out this month’s Online Parenting Class yet, we talk about what it would look like for you to think like a shepherd and provide your sheep with the things they really need to flourish in the world. In this month’s Parent Toolbox Resource, we offer some practical steps to care for your child in ways that will protect them, nourish them, and lead them in a way that will give them life. Lastly, we have an incredibly insightful blog article for you titled “Entrusted To Our Care” that we think will truly encourage you along the way.

To watch this month’s video, download the Toolbox Resource, or read the Blog Article, click on the links below.

[ INSERT LINK TO M2P PARENTING BLOG ARTICLE ]

[ INSERT LINK TO M2P ONLINE PARENTING CLASS VIDEO ]

[ INSERT LINK TO TOOLBOX RESOURCE ]

We are in this together! Let us know if there is ever anything we can do for you or your family.

Praying for you as you lead at home,

[INSERT LEADER’S SIGNATURE HERE]

M2P KIDS May Parent Video Script
Caring for Your Kids

One of the things I know about you as a parent is that you care for your kids. You care deeply for them. There is something about the parent-child bond that is so strong and something that wells up in you as a mom or a dad that you sometimes can’t even describe.

But today, I want to ask you to think about something. I know you care for your kids… emotionally and with all your heart. But how are you caring for your kids? How are you not just teaching them and guiding them and pointing them in the direction you think they should go, but how are you caring for them? This question takes me to an image from Scripture that you’ve probably heard before, where Jesus gives us a picture of what it looks like to care. In John 10:11, Jesus says, “I am the good shepherd.” Shepherds care for their sheep.

Now, we may not always look at our kids as cute little cuddly sheep, but maybe we should. When it comes to how we care for our kids, maybe we should take on the character of a shepherd and have that mentality. I’ve heard it said recently that lots of parents have begun to see themselves as their kids’ agent, negotiating deals and manipulating situations, making sure that their kids are well-positioned for the future and set up for success. If I’m honest, I can gravitate to a version of that sometimes. But what if we saw ourselves not as our kids’ agent or guide or even their teacher? What if we saw our primary role as being our kids’ shepherd?

What would that look like? The second part of John 10:11 says, “The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” Jesus sacrificed for you and for me, so part of being a shepherd for our kids and caring for them involves sacrifice. You know this because you’ve been doing this for years. As parents, we have to sacrifice our wants, our needs, and sometimes, our dreams for what our lives can look like for our kids. This doesn’t mean catering to their every want and whim, but it does mean loving our kids in such a way that we deny ourselves in order to love and care for them.

John 10:14-15 says, “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me—just as the Father knows me and I know the Father…” Part of being a shepherd and truly caring for our kids is really knowing them. It’s having a relationship with them. I don’t mean just a functional relationship where things keep moving, and stuff gets done, but I mean a deep relationship where you know one another and you are truly doing life together. And this takes work! Building and maintaining a strong relationship with our kids is not always easy and how we need to do it will change in different seasons. Building that relationship may require us to sacrifice things we want to do or talk about and step into things our kids want to do and talk about. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to act like I was interested in something in order to step deeper into a relationship with one of my kids. But when I do that, I’m always glad I did.

When I think about some other things that shepherds do, one of the big things that comes to mind is they protect their sheep. I know for a lot of us, it’s easy to go into protection mode when it comes to our kids, but I would encourage you to really evaluate how you protect your kids and particularly think about the posture you take when you are protecting them. Yes, our little sheep need protection, but they also need to feel confident that they can grow up into big sheep. I wonder if the culture our world is creating around protecting our kids is actually scaring the sheep and making them wonder if they can or even want to grow up. Definitely protect your kids from the evil in the world, but also give them the space they need to learn and grow so that they don’t always need you to be an overprotective shepherd. Learn how to have conversations with your kids about what is going on in them and in the world so that they can grow and develop in a healthy way while under your care.

One more thing about shepherds. They nourish their sheep. Now, obviously, you’re going to feed your kids lots of stuff, but I want to talk about a different type of nourishment. Part of caring for your kids is learning how to nourish them spiritually. How are you helping your kids get the spiritual nourishment they need to grow in their trust in God and life with Him? I hope you aren’t hiring another shepherd to do that part of the care. I hope you aren’t relying on someone from church or, a family member or a friend to be the spiritual shepherd for your kids. God has given that role to you, so take some time to figure out how you can lead your kids spiritually because they need you. They need you to have honest conversations with them about life and faith. They need you to keep building the relationship that gives you the influence you need as you guide them along the way.

Here’s the last thing I want to say. I hope you know that other than Jesus, there is no perfect shepherd. In all of this, you’re going to make mistakes and get some things wrong, and you’re going to need to rely on your shepherd to care for you. Jesus laid down his life for you and offers the same grace, forgiveness, and care that you are offering your kids. Lean on that and when you think about the fact that you care for your kids, go deeper into HOW you are caring for them as they continue to grow and develop.