TALKING WITH MY CHILD ABOUT BULLYING
Email 1
Copy/Paste the following email:
Subject line: Talking With My Child About Bullying
Dear (Insert Parent’s Name Here),
If you stop long enough to think about bullying, you probably have horrifying flashbacks to something you’ve experienced. It’s one thing for us as adults to remember those difficult encounters, but another one entirely different to think about someone picking on your kid.
When our child experiences bullying, we’re ready for the gloves to come off because, let’s face it, nobody messes with MY child! The protector in us comes out, and, at the same time, we also know fighting our children’s battles doesn’t help them in the long run. They need to experience difficulty. So how do we figure out when to step in and when to let them handle it?
Check out this short video (less than four minutes) that will help you begin the dialogue with your child about bullying.
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/73132864/6eb00c132f
We’ll follow up next week.
Your partner,
(Insert Leader’s Name)
Children’s Ministry Leader
Email 2
Copy/Paste the following email:
Subject line: Talking With My Child About Bullying
Dear (Insert Parent’s Name Here),
I hope you found our first email about bullying very helpful and evidence that we are on your team. If you didn’t get a chance to read/view the content, make sure to click this link:
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/73132864/6eb00c132f
The BIGGEST help we can be as parents is to develop a plan for dealing with a bully. Dealing with a bully is somewhat progressive in nature, so let’s view these in steps.
STEP 1-Tell the person bullying to STOP and walk away. Saying to them, “Don’t talk to me that way,” and when you walk away, you take away their sense of power.
STEP 2-Confront the bully. Talk through a basic script that your child can use in confronting. “It’s not OK for you to treat me this way, and I won’t let it happen. If you don’t stop, I will tell an adult.”
STEP 3-It’s time to involve an adult. If it’s happening at school, explain the situation to the teacher. If it’s on the bus, speak with the bus driver. If it’s on a sports team, talk with the coach. If it’s a neighbor, speak with the child’s parents.
STEP 4-Next, involve that person’s direct supervisor. If the soccer coach doesn’t stop the bullying, it’s time to involve the league supervisor. If the school teacher isn’t stepping in, it’s time to speak with a principal.
The biggest assurance you can give your child is that God has equipped them to deal with this. 2 Timothy 1:7 says For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.
Memorize this verse with your child, so they have the reminder that God has given them the power to deal with a bully.
Your partner,
Children’s Ministry Leader
Video
Video Script
Topic: What do I do when my child is being bullied?
Thanks, parents, for joining us for our online parenting class here at ParentMinistry.Net for Kids! This month we are going to tackle an issue that I am betting is going to bring back some wild memories for some of you. The question that we are going to tackle this month is: What do I do when my child is being bullied?
Think back right now and think about your first bully experience. If you are like me, it is really not hard to remember. My first bully experience came in 7th grade with a guy in several of my classes named Ben. Ben was taller than me, better looking than me, more popular than me, and also used to getting his way. I was new to the school and because I was a class clown I became a target of this guy. For months he made my life pretty miserable. Thinking about what he might do next dominated my thoughts for months until finally, I stood up to him and like most bullies, he backed down.
I was a 7th-grade middle schooler and these few months left a definite mental scar. I was old enough to work through it but think about how your k-5th grader will handle the same situation. What will they do? How will they respond? Will they ask for help? Here is the question most parents want to know…what should we do as mom or dad?
The truth is that when our kids face a bully they feel helpless. If we were honest when our kids face this kind of situation many of us feel those same emotions. We feel alone and wonder why our kids have to face this. The first step to helping your child confront this issue is to realize you are not alone. Research reveals that…
1 out of 4 kids is bullied.
77% of students are bullied mentally, verbally, & physically. Cyberbullying statistics are rapidly approaching similar numbers, with 43% experiencing cyberbullying.
1 in 5 students admit to being a bully, or doing some “Bullying.” Each day 160,000 students miss school for fear of being bullied. 43% of kids fear harassment in the bathroom at school.
As a parent, you are not alone and you can help your child face this with confidence. Yes, it is a challenge but you and your child can face this head-on. One of the key elements to helping your child deal with a bully is helping them have confidence.
The first step to help your child face a bully is to remind them that you will do everything you can to stand with them. They need to know they are not alone! Not only are you with them but this is an amazing chance to remind them that God is with them.
In the Bible, we find a leader named Joshua who was facing the hardest challenge of his life and God told him these words we can help our kids embrace. God told Joshua…
“This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
This may be the first time your child has to ask God to give them courage! As a parent, you can help them see that God is with them even in this challenge, what an amazing lesson to pass on to your kids!
The second step to take is to work with your child to develop a game plan to handle the problem. Fighting back is not always the answer but standing strong always is key to facing a bully. Kids can stand strong when they have a plan to follow. The plan may involve talking with a school counselor. It may be a plan for your child to walk away confidently from the bully and tell them to stop. It might be asking some of their friends to watch out for this problem and stand together. You may need to alert some other adults to be on the lookout for what has been happening. Every situation is different but giving your kid a plan will give them the confidence to find a solution.
Remember, this is your moment to show your child how to handle an issue they will face for the rest of their lives. We are all adults and we all know bullies that have grown up and continued to bully. Show your kids the way to stand now so they know what do later when they face it all again.
Later this month be looking for our next online class email where we will help you process clues to watch for when your child might be facing a bully and some steps to help your kid know how to respond to the bully.
Weekly tweets from you to the parents
TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use them consistently to tell twitter to store a list of your tweets in one place for later reference.
- TWEET #1-Remind your child today that you will always stand up for them and have their back. #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #2- Joshua 1:9-This is my command—be strong and courageous! Don’t be afraid or discouraged. The Lord your God is with you wherever you go #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #3-Accept no one’s definition of you. Allow only God to define you. #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #4- God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.#urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #5-Kids get bullied for being different, that’s the world talking. Encourage UNIQUENESS! #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #6-If you’re child is dealing with a bully, pray for COURAGE! #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #7-Sticks& stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me-NOT TRUE, words matter! #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #8-Words have power, use them wisely #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET # 9-You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and, well, people like you #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #10-No one deserves to feel worthless, “Therefore encourage one another and build up one another” 1 Thess.5:11 #urchurchparentministry