What do I do when my child is struggling at school?
Overview:
1. Email 1
2. Email 2
3. Video Scripts
4. Parent tweets
Subject line: Part 1 of parenting class-School strugglesCopy/Paste the following email:
Parents,
As I’m writing this I’m looking at my calendar, which says my children receive progress reports tomorrow. I cringe a little as I think about my straight A 5th grader who’s struggled more than ever this past 9 weeks, and my 2nd grader who’s that kid who has to “work at it” to get the B.
Yes, my kids make good grades in school, but it’s still something that’s always on the forefront of my mind. No matter what type of student you have we ALL are asking is my child learning what he/she needs to at school? What can I do to help them be a better student?
Whether or not your child gets great grades or struggles academically we all feel the strain of helping our child succeed academically. So how do we do that well as parents?
Check out our video lesson for month for a little parenting coaching on how to help your child do well in school.
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/84041184/546be0228e
Every child learns differently and at different paces. We often find ourselves caught in the comparison game. Make sure you know your child’s strengths and that you’ve communicated those to your child. God created us all with strengths and weaknesses. Articulating that to your child can be tough- “Hey buddy, you’re just not good at that.” However, helping our child to this realization will help them NOT feel like a failure if they happen to receive a failing grade.
Your next email will include some helpful tips on HOW to help your child if he/she is struggling with school.
Your partner,
Children’s Minister
Subject line:Part 2 of Parenting Class: School StrugglesCopy/Paste the following email
Parents,
Hopefully, you’ve had a little bit of time to think about your child’s strengths and weaknesses. Maybe you’ve even been brave enough to talk with him/her about it. Kudos to any of you who had that tough conversation.
Every child will struggle with an area of life. Even if your child is an academic superstar, they may struggle socially. We seem to all have a “thorn in our side.” A hero of our faith, Paul, said about himself in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to
torment me-to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for
power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with
weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.
It’s OK that we have weaknesses. In fact, Paul helps us see that the power of God is displayed through our weaknesses. This is definitely a philosophical stance that helps us see that weaknesses don’t make us failures. Paul even goes so far as to say that God GAVE him this thorn in the flesh. A question to pose then, “Does God give us specific
weaknesses that we’ll deal with all of our lives?”
Here’s the harsh reality, even if our child struggles academically, he/she still HAS to get an education. How do we help them succeed to the best of his/her ability?
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- Stop the comparison game and figure out with an expert (teacher/pediatrician) if your child is truly behind.
- Determine the subject/area in which your child struggles most and give that area attention. Don’t forget that many problems originate from a child’s inability to organize their things. Help them figure out a way to stay organized!
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Ask your child’s teacher/pediatrician if tutoring will help. They’ll have a perspective that will help you know if your child is just a bit
behind or has some sort of delay. - If it comes to it, don’t be afraid to have your child assessed for special education. Many children just need the opportunity to learn differently and special education offers this. God has made your child fearfully and wonderfully, and ALL God’s works are wonderful! Know strengths, work on weaknesses. Many times our strengths teach us how to adapt our weaknesses.
Your partner,
Children’s Minister
Video Script
Thanks parents for joining us for our online parenting class here at ParentMinistry.Net for Kids! Today we are going to process this big question we face every 6 to nine weeks of the school year. What do I do if my kid is struggling in school! Even if you have the smartest kid in the universe at some point they are going to struggle and we hope this month we can equip you with a plan!
Grades are a big deal in our culture. We place so much of our hopes and dreams for our kids on the grades they bring home. Why…it’s simple…we want them all to be a doctor or lawyer or really smart professional baseball player and we all have embraced the idea that good grades set people up for success. We all went to school and measured our progress by that grade the teacher gave us so we have accepted it as a natural marker for our kids success. Grade become addicting almost because in some crazy way we fell better about our own parenting when our kids deliver the good news!
So many times our culture associates bad grades with bad kids. We know that’s not true but still the idea freaks us out. We don’t want our child to be lumped into the bad kid category so from early on we push them to make good grades. Sometimes the pushing is not enough and still they come homes with a report card they don’t really want you to see because they know how you will react…you, like me, will over react! After we get done with the shock that our kids are struggling we eventually get to the point where we try to figure out how to fix the problem. Most of us run right to the try harder speech, track their progress closer, or make them do all homework before dinner process. Most of the times it works but what happens when it doesn’t. Don’t worry, we are going to help you this month.
If you find your kid struggling in school the first thing you need to realize is that your kids grade at school is not your grade as a parent! Great parents are parents that help their kids get the best education not always the best grade. If your child is struggling then his is just another chance for you to help bring the best out of your child…that’s what good parents do.
The question we want you to ask today is what is academic success for your child? This is an honest question and the answer is different for every child. Stop comparing your child to other kids. If your child is struggling slow down and set some realistic goals your child can reach. When kids have realistic goals academically when they reach them they will build momentum.
Our goal is simple…we want kids to give their best and every child has a unique best to bring!
The Bible says this…
Colossians 3:17 (NLT) 17 And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.
What God wants from our kids is their best. No matter the grade our goal is to help our kids give their best and honor God. Your child’s value will never be able to captured by a grade. They are way more amazing than that!
If our goal is to help our kids do their best then here are three simple steps to help them make forward progress at school…
Ask the right people the right questions.
If your child is struggling make sure you check in with your teachers and your pediatrician to find out if they are really behind. Teachers and doctors are there to help and most are waiting for us to ask for info. Don’t address the issue without the right perspective. Ask the right people the right questions. Listen, don’t take feedback personal, and help your kids find forward motion.
Help them focus.
If your child is struggling at school they are probably not struggling with everything. Celebrate what they are good at and focus effort on where they are struggling! Your child is going to need you to frame the real challenge. Your the parent. Make sure and celebrate what is good and tackle the problem together.
Help them get organized.
Most school problems can be tackled with a little hard work and focused effort. Your child will probably not be able to get organized without your help. Set a schedule and help them focus on what they need help with the most.
Those are just three steps you can take. Take a deep breath, it’s going to be ok and God is going to give you the wisdom to lead your kids through this challenge! In the coming month we will send you another email to help you get some perspective in a culture that places so much emphasis on academic success.
Weekly tweets from you to parents:
- TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell twitter to store a list of your tweets in one place for later reference.
- TWEET #1-The act of facing overwhelming odds, produces greatness and beauty M.Gladwell #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #2-As parents we fight for a great education, not great grades #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #3-Your child has a unique BEST they possess #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #4-A child honors God when they give their best Col. 3:17 #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #5-Celebrate the things your child is good at #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #6- The qualities that appear to give giants their strength are often the sources of great weakness M. Gladwell #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #7- Academic achievement isn’t the measure of success #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #8-2 Cor. 12:9 My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness #urchurchparentministryTWEET #9-Check out David and Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell to glean a different perspective on the underdog #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #10- Courage is what you earn when you’ve been through the tough times and discover they aren’t so tough after all M.Gladwell #urchurchparentministry