Your Child and Fear
Email 1
Subject line: Part 1-Walking your child through FEAR
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Parents,
We all want our children to live life fully. One of the joys of childhood is the innocence that allows them to live with reckless abandon. As our children get a little older they begin to see the “real world.” Accompanying that can be some real fears that take hold in their lives.
How do we as parents help them confront fears, deal with them, and move past them so that they don’t control our child’s mind? Take a look at this video to see an overview of helping your child deal with fear.
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/84833565/5efe7b8422
In a couple weeks we’ll be sending out the second installment of this online parenting class where we’ll help you know step by step how to walk your child through conquering fears.
Your partner,
Children’s Pastor
Email 2
Subject line: Part 2 of walking your child through FEAR
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Parents,
Reoccurring bad dreams, bellyaches before school, anxiety before a new event, and fear of the uncontrollable are some of the ways our kids are dealing with fear. Even if their fear seems a bit illegitimate to us, you can guarantee it’s very REAL to them. So, instead of glossing over their fear, or telling them, “Just don’t worry about it,” we want to walk you through the best way to walk your child through fear, anxiety, and worry.
The best way to deal with fear is to OVERCOME it. Many of the emotions God has given us are from Him. However, fear is NOT one of those. 2 Timothy 1:7 clearly tells us God has NOT given us a spirit of fear. So instead of telling our kiddos, don’t be afraid, here are some great tools for helping them overcome fear:
- Acknowledge the fear. Even if their fear seems silly to you, it’s real to them.
- Respond to your child’s fear with confidence. Memorize 2 Timothy 1:7. Say it over and over again until you and your child believe it. Children sense anxiety, so if you know they’re feeding off your fears, get yours in check first.
- Replace the “stinkin’ thinkin’” with good thoughts. Don’t dwell on the fear (if it’s a bad dream, don’t ask them to describe the dream), this just fuels that anxiety. It’s also not enough to tell them to STOP worrying. They need to REPLACE those thoughts with new ones. So help them figure out what to think about. Replace worry with a verse like the one in 2 Timothy OR Isaiah 41:10.
- Help the bad dream pass by thinking of a great vacation memory.
- For a child safety is developed through structure. Create routine for your family. Make sure it includes down time for great conversation, especially at night time.
1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears has not reached perfection in love.”
One of the biggest ways to help kids deal with fear is to create security. Tell them often how much they are loved by you and by God. Perfect love casts out fear. Dwell on the perfect love of God as you help your child understand he/she was NOT created to fear!
Thanks!
Children’s Pastor
Video Script
Topic: How do I help my child when they are trapped by fear?
Thanks parents for joining us for our online parenting class here at ParentMinistry.Net for Kids! This month we are going to tackle the issue of fear. The question we want to answer is how do I help my child when they are trapped by fear?
Let’s take a minute and go back in time to our childhood days. I know that is a way back for all you parents but I want you to go there with me. Think about fears that you had when you were a kid. Be honest, you had a few of them. You may have been afraid of spending the night with your friends. You may have been afraid of the dark. You may have been afraid of catching a baseball…well maybe that was only me but I am betting you faced a fear. I also know that when you were gripped by fear as a kid it was very real. It may have not made sense to your parents but it was real to you.
When our kids are gripped by fear it becomes a very real issue in our home because fear shapes behavior. Sure, fear flows from the mind of a child but it shapes the choices they make. Because fear resides in the mind of a child it is often hard for mom and dad to know what to do. It also can be very frustrating when the fears of our kids get in they way of our plans.
It’s one thing when fear is of something imaginary but many kids are facing fears of very real issues. Fear from losing someone close to them due to an illness. Fear of how life will be next month because you as a parent are struggling through a difficult divorce. Fear of what will happen at school on Monday because of a bully. Fear from simply watching the news and seeing how dangerous parts of this world can be. These are real fears and they are complicated.
Helping your child process a nagging fear that is influencing their daily life can be a scary issue because we don’t want to make it worse but we live with the tension of wanting to help. When it comes to helping a child that is trapped by fear we have to be willing to walk with the child through the fear and take it seriously. Our attitude through the process allows the child to know we are serious about helping.
The Bible says this…
2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT) 
7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
God has given us a different kind of spirit and it’s not a spirit of fear. We were not created to live in fear. That means we can overcome our fears by embracing a spirit of power, love and self discipline! We can also help our kids adopt the attitude of an overcomer. Kids can defeat their fears if they choose to confront their fears and as a parent you can help them take that step.
The key to help your child overcome fear is to confront the fear with them. They will need your help. Think about overcoming a fear of roller coasters. If that is going to happen you have to buckle up and ride it. Kids need to confront fears not ignore fears. With your encouragement that can happen.
Here are four reminders as you help your child confront their fears…
Acknowledge the fear.
Don’t make fun of the fear because to them it’s very real. Don’t make them have to hide the fear from you just let them know you understand.
Respond with confidence.
Your response to the fear can either help them have confidence or fuel the fear. Yes you acknowledge the fear but you also need to let them know you are there to help them confront it.
Direct their thinking.
Since fear begins in the mind confrontation comes from helping them change the way they think. Fuel them with the right thoughts as they face their fear.
Be present.
Your child needs to know you will support them as they confront their fear. They need to know you are a safe person they can process this with. Be there for them when they need you.
If you child is being trapped by fear be strong and help them confront it. You can help your child take healthy steps forward. You can’t take away the dear but you can guide them through confronting it.
In our next online parenting class email we will help you process how you can help your child avoid being trapped by many common fears they face!
Weekly tweets from you to the parents:
TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell twitter to store a list of your tweets in one place for later reference.
- TWEET #1-Fear starts in the mind, but shapes behavior. Control your thoughts! #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #2- God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline 2 Tim. 1:7 #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #3-The key to help your child overcome fear is to confront fear with them #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #4-Replace the stinkin’ thinkin’ of fear with thoughts from God #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #5-1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #6-Read a conversation about fear in Exodus 3:10-4:13 between Moses and God #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #6-Rosa Parks-I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.
- TWEET #7-Structure creates comfort for kids. How are you creating comfort in your home #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #8-Deut.31:6 Be strong and courageous; don’t be afraid. The Lord your God goes with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #9-Imagination can feed into fear, guard your child’s imagination by filtering media #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #10-Fears are resolved by overcoming them. Help your child know they’re created to NOT fear #urchurchparentministry