Creating An Empathetic Child
Email 1
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Empathy is taking on someone else’s perspective. Jesus, Himself, is the perfect example of this. 2 Corinthians tells us He who knew no sin became sin for us. We all want to help our children be more like Jesus and teaching our children to see things from another person’s view is a tall order. We all tend to think of our own needs first, and I’m sure you’ve witnessed this great phenomenon with your kids.
How do we help our children to see others for who they really are, unique individuals created by God for His purpose? How do we help them be compassionate individuals, ones who connect with human suffering with care and understanding in a way that brings comfort? The video this month will give you a good glimpse into helping our children develop empathy and compassion.
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/106922273/6d779421db
In a couple of weeks I’ll be sending you the second installment of teaching empathy and compassion. ‘Til then continue to model this for your children in your daily life.
Partnering with you,
Children’s Pastor
Email 2
Let’s admit it, we all tend to be self-absorbed at times. This goes for you, and me, AND our kids! Hopefully, as adults we realize this negative personality trait and work (with God’s strength) to put others above ourselves. However, this idea of thinking of another person’s feelings may be like speaking a foreign language to your child.
In American society, we tend to talk about our own personal feelings A LOT. One of the repercussions is we think of our feelings first BEFORE considering the feelings of others around us-the exact opposite of compassion and empathy. How can we help our children see beyond themselves to be people who are compassionate and empathetic toward others?
- Surround ourselves with people who are different from us, all the while finding what we have in common with them. This helps our children see that all people are REAL PEOPLE.
- As a parent be authentic and kind to everyone (the store clerk, the bus driver, the person cutting in front of you in line).
- Don’t prioritize YOUR child’s happiness over others.
- Reading and discussing literary fiction is a great way to help your children see how they relate to other people.
Research suggests that kids develop a strong sense of empathy when their own emotional needs are met at home. Also, kids will show more empathetic concern for others when they have parents who help them cope with negative emotions in a sympathetic, problem-solving way.
When you read the story of Job you see him battling with friends who show NO compassion or empathy. All they do is judge him and tell him what he’s doing wrong. What Job needed was an empathetic and compassionate friend and he got NOTHING close to that. Let’s make sure we help our children develop into empathetic, compassionate people who value individuals for the unique creation they are.
Partnering with you,
Children’s Pastor
Video Script
Every parent wants their kid to be that kid that is encouraging and kind to other kids. No parent holds their baby girl or boy in the hospital and dreams about their child being the playground bully who is mean to all the other kids. We dream about our children being kind, compassionate, and helpful. This month we want to do more than dream about that idea we want to help you help your kid truly care for others. We want your child to have empathy for their friends and other people in their life.
What is empathy? Good question!
Empathy is the ability to understand another’s perspective and to consider it before acting. It’s actually “other awareness” and it really doesn’t come naturally for most kids or adults. If you don’t believe me just start allowing your daughter or son to start having friends over to spend the night. If you want to know how your child is doing with the idea of empathy watch how they interact with their friends. See how they respond when their friend wants to watch a different movie than they do. See how they respond when their friend wants to ride bikes instead of playing a video game. See how they respond when there is only one chocolate chip cookie left. I watch this stuff every time my children have guests over for the night and many times my own kids choose to think of themselves over the needs of their guests. Over and over I have to remind them to rethink their choices and serve their guest instead of themselves.
Our kids will naturally choose to care for their own needs over other’s needs. It’s natural so in order to raise kids who care for others we need to do more than wish it would happen. There is even an incredible example from the Bible in the life of Jesus. Jesus modeled and lived out compassion for others. Listen to this verse…
2 Corinthians 5:21 (NLT)
21 For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.
Through sacrifice and love Jesus cared for our needs to have a relationship with God over his own needs. That’s an incredible act of sacrifice lived out. God even models empathy by giving us his own son. When we intentionally encourage our kids to care for the needs of others we are helping them be more like Jesus and that’s an incredible goal to have.
How can we practically help our children have more empathy for others? I’m glad you asked because you can start with these practical moves as their parent…
Move #1 / Encourage empathy by calling out selfishness in love.
Don’t hurt your child’s feeling but in love call out their selfish moments and allow them change their choice. Sometimes they will still choose the wrong thing but over time when you call those moments out they will begin to learn in the middle of real life.
Move #2 / Model empathy for your child this month.
This will take some planning but find some clear ways to show your kids how you are caring for the needs of others. You could really go out of your way to help your kids work through an issue in their life. Think about helping them with soccer practice or with their homework. You might even think about choosing a service project in the community you can do with your kids. This month your children’s pastor will have a list of ideas they can send to you to spur your imagination. Show your kids what compassion looks like!
Later in the month your children’s ministry will send you part 2 of this online class and give you more practical ways you can help your child be someone who cares for the needs of others. Thanks for watching this and thanks for passing on faith to your child day by day!
Weekly tweets from you to parents:
TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell twitter to store a list of your tweets in one place for later reference.
TWEET #1- Defining empathy-the ability to understand another perspective and consider it before acting. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #2- Teaching compassion-Be careful NOT to prioritize your child’s happiness above others. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #3- Keep it in check parents, Do your children see you being kind to everyone?? #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #4-Kids naturally choose to care for their own needs above needs of others-teach our kids to DEFY nature. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #5- Teach compassion/empathy-CHALLENGE PREJUDICES and EXPLORE COMMONALITIES #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #6- Compassion lived out-2 Corinthians 5:21 #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #7- Check out this great list of literary fiction books to encourage empathy and compassion: http://bit.ly/1nkATXs #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #8- Teaching empathy is a GREAT way to pass down our faith to our children. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #9- Encourage empathy in your child by calling out selfishness in love. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #10- Just as Jesus was moved with compassion for us, let us be moved by compassion for others. #urchurchparentministry