Tips to Help Single Parents
Email 1
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Parents,
Did you know that over 22 million children are being raised by single parents? I’m sure you can think of a few in your own life. Regardless of whether or not you are a single parent, we are all affected in one way or another. Have you ever thought to yourself, “I could really use some help” or “I wish I could assist in some way?” Hopefully we can help with some ideas this month.
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/118054423/60ccab9fb1
Partnering with you,
Preschool Pastor
Email 2
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Parents,
Earlier this month we discussed many of the problems that single parents face each day. You may have realized that even though you may not be single, this topic affects you more than you previously thought when you look at your friends and family. The number of single parent households has more than tripled in the last 50 years. The following are some suggestions that you could maybe instill in your own routine.
Find a schedule that works for your family
There is no ideal schedule for everyone. Each family has different activities and responsibilities that make them unique.
- If childcare and work schedules aren’t in sync, talk with your boss about possibly adjusting your hours. Be honest about your situation.
- Be very conscious about what you commit yourself and your children to do. You must be realistic about what you can accomplish. Consider location of activities, cost involved, time of activities/ practices. You can’t do everything and be everywhere, but you also want to set the standard for your children to be accountable for what you agree to do. Make sure that you also set aside time to be at home and spend time together.
Childcare
Get creative about childcare. Create a babysitting network with friends and trade off on providing childcare. That way everyone gets time without the kids and no one has to pay babysitting fees.
Support System
One of the most common difficulties of single parents is that they feel isolated and alone. Join forces with other parents in similar situations. This may be another single parent, or a friend whose spouse works odd hours. Maybe you have a friend whose spouse is deployed. Don’t be afraid to reach out to other people. Building community can provide social support and give a sense of belonging. Look into support groups through your church, social sites or YMCA. The other side of this is being willing to accept help if it is offered. Don’t be too proud to admit that it is hard to do it alone.
Be organized
If your home is in disarray, it can be easy for things to become disorganized and hectic. Keeping things streamlined and organized can help daily routines to run more smoothly. Keep a calendar of daily activities so everyone knows what each day contains. Be prepared for urgent situations. Have emergency numbers of people you know you can count on and that you can call if something happens. We all get sick, even if you are solely responsible for the family. As children grow, hold family meetings. Talk about everyone’s schedule and how to share responsibilities around the house. It helps when everyone is on the same page.
How to help:
What about those of us who aren’t single, but we have single friends or family members? What are some ways that we can reach out and help them?
- Provide hands-on help. Offer to babysit, pick up the dry cleaning, or drive their child to soccer practice. An extra set of hands can make a huge difference.
- Keep them on the guest list. Don’t leave out friends who are single because they don’t have a partner or seem too busy. Loneliness can be a huge problem with single parents. Even if they can’t make it, they will appreciate being included. This applies to holidays also. No one wants to spend holidays alone.
- Surprise them with a freezer-friendly meal. What a treat to not have to worry about dinner!
- Ask what it is like. Just be a friendly ear and listen. Being heard can be very validating.
Above all, make sure to cover your family in prayer. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Every family situation is different. We hope that these suggestions can help your situation.
Partnering with you,
Preschool Pastor
Video Script
We all know how difficult parenting can be. Articles and the pros will tell you how important it is for parents to work together and be a team. But what about those parents who do it alone? This month we are going to talk about the difficulties of being a single parent.
Now, you may be happily married and think, “I don’t need to hear this because this topic doesn’t apply to me”. Take a moment and think about your family and friends. Chances are, there is a person who comes to mind who is parenting on their own. Maybe, your child’s best friend only lives with one parent or your next-door neighbor is a single parent. Ultimately, we are all touched by this topic. Studies have shown that there are 13.7 million single parents in the United States and those parents are responsible for raising over 22 million children. Half of those families are due to divorce, but another increasingly large group live with single parents who were never married or involved in a long-term relationship. A smaller number of children have widowed parents. Whatever the cause, there is a higher number of single parent families in our country than ever before and that means all of us are touched by it in one way or another.
Single parenthood is not easy, for parents or children. It can mean less income to support the family. If you can’t arrange or afford childcare, keeping a steady job can become difficult. Single parents can feel isolated and alone without another person to share the daily tasks of raising a child and maintaining a home. Parents can easily become tired and distracted to be as consistent with discipline and rules as they need to or would like to be. Any of these sound familiar? We would like to offer some suggestions that may help you meet some of your needs while still providing your child with what they need as well.
Take advantage of all the resources you can in finding childcare for your child. Ask around with people you trust. What did they do? Do they have any recommendations? 6 out of 10 families use a day care center. Ask lots of questions about their practices. What are their goals, requirements for staff, class ratios, costs? Ask to tour their facility. First impressions can tell you a lot. Take care of yourself, for your sake as well as your child. I’m not saying regular days at the spa, but just see to basic needs. See a doctor regularly, pay attention to what you are putting in your body, and attempt to get plenty of sleep. You are also setting the standard of what your child thinks is healthy behavior.
Set firm but reasonable limits and rules for your children and don’t be afraid to enforce them. Having clear rules to follow help children to know exactly what is expected of them and what behavior will not be tolerated. Do what you can to create a support system for yourself. Do you have family nearby? Friends from work or church? These are your support system people. You cannot be afraid or unwilling to accept or ask for help. If someone offers to help, take them up on it! If nothing else, you need someone you can call if an emergency comes up.
As overwhelming as it can be at times, there can be some benefits to being single. You can raise your child according to your own beliefs, principles and rules. Single parents often develop extremely close bonds with their children. Many children in single parent households may become more independent and mature because they have more responsibility within the family. Don’t let yourself get caught up in couple envy thinking that things would be better or easier with a partner. This could be true in some instances, but the truth is that there are problems with married couples too! The current divorce rate is proof of that. Maybe you aren’t a single parent, but often a solo parent. These are the parents whose partner travels often for work, works odd hours or is in the middle of a military deployment. Some of these suggestions can also hold true for you.
Isaiah 41:10 says “Fear not for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my Righteous right hand.” Cover your family in prayer and ask people you trust to pray for you and your family. Don’t
neglect your spiritual walk in the middle of your busyness.
Be watching for our next email. We will dig deeper into these suggestions with practical tips and also give suggestions about how you can reach out and help single parents you may know in your life. After all, we all need to work together.
Weekly tweets from you to parents:
TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell Twitter to store a list of your tweets on one place for later reference.
Tweet one: Building a community can provide emotional support and a sense of belonging. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet two: Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” #urchurchparentministry
Tweet three: There are nearly 14 million single parents in the U.S. How does it affect you? #urchurchparentministry
Tweet four: Seek out positive role models to have around your children. They can benefit from these people in their lives. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet five: Find time each day for your child. Make sure they know they are your top priority. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet six: Ask people you trust to pray for you and your child. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet seven: Set aside one night a week for no chores or work and focus on yourself. We all need a little ”me time” to make us better parents! #urchurchparentministry
Tweet eight: Learn to say no. Do not over-extend yourself to the detriment of your family. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet nine: Join forces with other families in similar situations to yours. They know what life is like for you. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet ten: Be willing to accept help. No one can do everything all by themselves! #urchurchparentministry