How to Have A Scream Free Home
Email 1
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Subject Line: How to Have a Scream Free Home, Part One
Parents,
It’s time to address another important parenting issue—the one of having a scream-free or yell-free home. Not only will this make for a more peaceful home, but it will also help to make your children calmer and more confident in who they are.
I know how easy it is to feel you have to raise your voice to be heard or even yell rather than going to your children to speak normally so they can hear you. But as parents, we owe it to our children and ourselves to speak in calmly and respectfully so they will learn to do the same.
The following link takes you to the parenting video that covers this lesson. Please watch the video and seriously consider taking the necessary steps to dial down the volume in your home.
Please don’t hesitate to contact me with comments and even requests on how I can pray for your family and be of assistance to you.
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/142436353/e6913bda99
Partnering with you,
Preschool Pastor
Email 2
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Subject Line:How To Have A Scream Free Home, Part Two
Parents,
Hi! I hope you are having a great week and that you’ve had an opportunity to watch the parenting video dealing with our current topic of having a home where screaming and yelling do not exist.
Yelling should be reserved for high school football games (Go, team, go!) and games of hide-n-seek (Ready or not, here I come!). In other words, yelling is not appropriate when speaking to your children.
Even if you’re just calling the kids to supper, yelling shouldn’t be the method you opt for. Why? Actually there are several reasons, but the two primary reasons you shouldn’t yell at your kids are 1) yelling sends the message of tension and displeasure. When you yell your kids automatically assume you’re unhappy 2) yelling shows disrespect.
I want to provide you with scripture to place upon your heart; words to remind you of God’s desire for a peaceful home. Following the verses you will find suggestions for making your home a scream-free/yell-free, and less stressful zone.
Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife. ~Proverbs 17:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. ~Proverbs 15:1
To eliminate yelling from your home, why not set up a ‘penalty piggy bank’. Here’s how it works: put a jar of pennies next to the penalty pig that has a mailing label for each person in the family stuck to it. Every time someone yells, they have to pay a penny to the pig and put a mark on the sticker with their name on it. The person with the most marks at the end of each week has to do extra chores. FYI: Mom and Dad are just as liable as the kids are. When the bank is full, empty it and use the money to take everyone for ice cream.
Another way you can do this is to call a family meeting where you make a proclamation that says your home is a yell-free home, explain why yelling is not acceptable or allowed, and establish rules and penalties for yelling. For example, yelling is a good thing when calling for help in an emergency.
I consider it a blessing to be partnering with you for the sake of your family.
Partnering with you,
Preschool Pastor
Video Script
When you were a child, I bet you didn’t dream of one day growing up and having a family that yelled at each other every day.
Yelling might be the worst form of communication that has ever existed.
Nobody wants to have a home where everyone yells, and when you do it’s easy to feel hopeless.
The thing about yelling is that it stresses out both parties. It stresses out the person yelling and the person being yelled at.
So how can we create scream free homes?
How can we create homes where we speak respectfully to our kids, and in turn they speak respectfully to us?
How can we create homes where we listen to each other, and we communicate without creating stress through screaming?
Here are three tips towards creating a scream free home:
First, you can draw clear boundaries. Sit down with your kids and agree together that no one wants to live in a house where every one screams. Communicate to them that kids and adults should not be allowed to scream in the home.
Second, give your child the freedom to call a penalty. What would the game of football look like without referees? It would be chaos! Well, chaos is a good word to describe our homes when everyone is screaming at each other. Once everyone agrees together that screaming is a “penalty” in your home, then everyone should be able to throw a flag. It’s should be OK for everyone in the home to be able to respectfully say, “You’re screaming at me, and we agreed together that we wouldn’t do that.”
Finally, Call Time outs. With all this talk of boundaries, referees, penalties, and time outs this sounds more like a video about sports rather than parenting. But being able to call a time out is a key to creating a scream free home. No one is perfect and we all get angry. The only real solution to anger is to give yourself some time and space to calm down. The key to calling a good time out is letting your family member know that you will return to the conversation once you’ve calmed down.
Here’s a great example of how to call a time out You say something like this, “I’m committed to having a ‘Scream Free’ Home, but right now I’m angry. I’m calling a time out, and I’ll be back in ten minutes to continue the conversation.”
Once the other person agrees to return to the conversation with you in ten minutes, you then have a chance to get control of your emotions and speak without screaming.
For many families having a scream free home feels like an impossible dream. But if you draw clear boundaries, give everyone the right to call a penalty, and use timeouts effectively then that dream can come true!
Weekly tweets from you to parents:
TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell Twitter to store a list of your tweets on one place for later reference.
Tweet One: No yelling allowed by parents or kids #happyhomequiethome . #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Two: Yelling is stressful…who needs stress? #happyhomequiethome #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Three: Everything worth saying is worth saying quietly #happyhomequiethome #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Four: Be nice-don’t yell. #happyhomequiethome #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Five: God likes yell-free homes #happyhomequiethome #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Six: It’s not what you say it’s how you say it…quietly #happyhomequiethome #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Seven: Yelling is for football games…not talking to your kids #happyhomequiethome #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Eight: Don’t yell @ me & I won’t yell @ you #happyhomequiethome #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Nine: Speak softly & people will listen better #happyhomequiethome #urchurchparentministry
Tweet Ten: Show respect don’t yell #happyhomequiethome #urchurchparentministry