Helping Our Kids Deal With Emotions
Email 1
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Parents,
Human beings experience a wide variety of emotions each and every day. Over time, we are able to manage and deal with those emotions. 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.” However, your children are not born knowing how to deal with all the feelings they have each day. It is our job to help them learn how to do that.
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/121132477/b145502f4c
Partnering with you,
Preschool Pastor
Email 2
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Parents,
The early years of your child’s life present a unique opportunity to lay the foundation for healthy development. It is also a time of growth and vulnerability. Studies have shown that children whose parents talk with them about their emotions have better social skills and coping capabilities. It is so important to start this communication with our kids! By the ages of two and three children can understand what they are feeling but they still have very little control over it. Emotions at this age are very situation specific and can change quickly as your child moves on to different activities. It is also common for preschoolers to express emotions in extremes, you know the ones we are talking about!
Two of the most common emotions that kids have a hard time dealing with are anger and fear. Here are some tips when dealing with these particular preschool emotions.
- Anger:
- Remain calm. No good will come of both of you being angry.
- Do not try to reason with your child while they are in the middle of a tantrum. They are not thinking or behaving rationally.
- Take a time out, for you and them. This gives you both a chance to calm down and you are not indulging their behavior.
- If discipline is necessary, give consequences for the behavior, not the anger.
- Fear:
- In the moment, your child is dealing with something that is very real and serious to them. Don’t smile or make light of what they are going through. Your child’s fear of the neighbor’s small poodle may seem silly to you, but it is very real to them.
- Problem solve together. This also opens communication and allows your child to be part of the solution.
- Provide your child with a comfort object. If they have a particular stuffed animal or blanket that brings them comfort, allow them to keep it with them.
- Teach them not to dwell on things that cause fear. Instead, explore ways to boost confidence and help them feel brave.
What are some ways to help express feelings? Give your child permission to feel and express emotion. Let them know that these feelings are normal and everyone feels that way sometimes. They will be more likely to talk to you and share if they feel safe and secure. Use books and art to help boost communication.
Be a positive role model. Your child will model what you show them. If you are prone to losing your temper and emotional outbursts, don’t be surprised if your child shows those same behaviors. Show them healthy, productive ways of expressing emotions. There are many scriptures and stories in the Bible dealing with emotions. Teach your child that we should always pray and talk to God about what we are feeling. Incorporate daily prayer time with your child to praise and thank God for our blessings and happy moments each day and also reaching out in times of sorrow or anxiety.
Helping our children identify and name their emotions is the first step in giving them the tools they need as they grow to deal with these feelings. We can help them now at an early age to learn how to manage their emotions as they grow up.
Partnering with you,
Preschool Pastor
Video Script
There is a song that says “into each life a little rain must fall”. It is inevitable that we have bad days to go along with the good and unfortunately, this holds true for our kids as well. As adults, we can have a hard time dealing with our emotions and finding healthy ways to express our feelings. It is even more difficult for children to deal with these things. Our parenting class this month is on helping our child deal with their emotions.
No matter how protective of our children as we may be, our kids will experience pain, sadness, frustration and anger. Working through different emotions can be hard or scary for a child who isn’t sure what they are feeling. It is our job as parents to help our child to navigate the waters of emotion regulation, which is being able to think about how to cope with feelings. Even at a young age, we can help our child to understand what different emotions are and what are the best ways to express these feelings. Emotion regulation is essential for children’s overall well being. We want our kids to have feelings, but to not be overwhelmed by them and unfortunately, mood swings are just a part of growing up.
The preschool age is tough because they are beginning to understand different emotions but they have difficulty regulating them and using the appropriate labels to describe what they are feeling. This age also has difficulty separating feelings from actions. If they feel something, they express it. If they want something that someone else has, they try to take it. If they feel anger, they may resort to hitting. It is very common for preschoolers to use physical means instead of using their words. Teaching children appropriate ways to express their emotions is an important milestone in their development.
One of the first things that you can do to help your child is to teach them how to identify feelings. Teach them the names of emotions. Tell them, “You are feeling scared right now.” or “I know that you are very angry.” Use appropriate labels like happy, excited, sad, mad. This will allow them to identify emotions later. Simply telling a child to calm down or stop crying is not an effective way to help them through emotional stress. You must acknowledge what they are feeling, no matter how unreasonable it may seem in the moment! No matter what, do not belittle your child or make light of their feelings. This will only embarrass your
child and build a wall between you.
Teach your child to use their words. Once you name their feelings, give them the chance to tell you what they are feeling. The situation may seem silly to you, but to them at that moment, it is very real and serious. Studies have shown that kids whose parents talk to them about emotions have better social skills as they get older. You are opening the door for communication between you and your child. If they feel comfortable coming to you and expressing themselves from an early age, the more likely they are to continue that as they grow older. Giving your child permission to feel and express their emotions helps them to feel safe and secure. Think about when you are going through a rough time. Sometimes it makes a world of difference to be validated and know that someone else has been where you are. It is no different for our kids. It helps to know that we aren’t alone in what we are feeling.
Books are a great tool in helping to deal with our feelings. When reading with your child, point out the different emotions that are happening in the story. Show them examples of positive and negative ways the characters are dealing with feelings. Maybe your child would feel comfortable drawing a picture of how they feel. These are ways to start communication, even at an early age.
Growing up is tough. there is something new every day that our kids experience and learn. Starting at the preschool age, showing them good ways to deal with their feelings, will only be beneficial for them as they get older. Be watching for our next parent email. We will talk about different emotions that children experience and some good ways to help them deal with those feelings.
Weekly tweets from you to parents:
TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell Twitter to store a list of your tweets on one place for later reference.
Tweet one: Validate your child’s feelings. Let them know they are not alone. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet two: 1 Peter 5:7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet three: Emotion regulation is essential for a child’s well being. How does your family deal with emotions? #urchurchparentministry
Tweet four: Be a positive role model on how to express emotion. They will model what we show them. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet five: Incorporate daily prayer time with your child. Show them how to talk to God about their daily blessings and sorrows. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet six: Use appropriate labels for emotions that your child will understand. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet seven: By the age of three, children understand the emotions they are feeling, but not how to control them. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet eight: Don’t wait for traumatic events to happen to begin talking with your child about their feelings. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet nine: James 1:19 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet ten: Preschoolers have trouble separating feelings from actions. We must teach them appropriate responses to their feelings. #urchurchparentministry