Helping My Child Embrace Gratefulness
Email 1
Parents,
When our children are small we have to prompt them to do everything. Go clean your room, chew with your mouth closed, say thank you. At some point, these things should become automatic. Do you find yourself STILL prompting your child to say thank you? When does that become automatic?
Instilling gratefulness in our children takes work. They are born grateful, they’re born selfish. So how do we teach them gratefulness? How do we help our child embrace gratefulness?
Check out this month’s video on Helping My Child Embrace Gratefulness. Later in the month you’ll receive a second email that will include some additional steps for instilling gratefulness, and we’ll tackle the subject of how using an allowance will help with gratefulness as well.
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/99466317/526ad886c4
Your partner,
Children’s Pastor
Email 2
Subject line: Building Gratefulness in My Child Part 2
Parents,
Gratefulness is an attitude that we choose to have. In reality a grateful heart has NOTHING to do with what we have, material possessions. A grateful heart also isn’t birthed out of positive circumstances in life. Gratefulness is an attitude we possess when we know WHOSE we are.
When you read of Paul and Silas imprisoned in Acts 16, you find out they’d just been severely beaten by a crowd and drug to prison. As they’re in prison that evening we see Paul and Silas doing 2 things; praying and singing hymns. We can learn a lot about gratefulness from the responses of these men. Upon a severe beating and imprisonment, we se them expressing adoration and gratefulness to God. They’re attention wasn’t fixed on their circumstances; it was fixed on God Himself.
So now that we understand that gratefulness isn’t about being thankful for our stuff or our great circumstances, but rather an attitude fixed on God Himself, how do we instill an attitude of gratefulness in our children?
- Live in the present. Living in the past keeps us tied to guilt and regret. Living in the future leaves us striving for things that we’re not promised. Live for today.
- Make sure when you express gratefulness that isn’t just for things. Be grateful for good attitudes, great friends, kind words, etc.
- Develop an understanding of money with an allowance. While instituting an allowance, teach what it means to save, tithe, give and spend.
- Expose your children to people from all different walks of life. Help them see what people HAVE doesn’t define WHO they are.
Gratefulness is an attitude of contentment. It’s when WE say I don’t need more from God to follow Him completely. I’ll follow NOW. Our children will learn gratefulness from us when they see it modeled through this type of attitude.
Your partner,
Children’s Pastor
Video Script
Gratefulness is something that we all know is short in our society. In our conquest for better cars, bigger houses, cooler entertainment and the latest and greatest tech gadgets we rarely slow down long enough to look around at all God has blessed us with and express gratitude to God. As adults we are rarely satisfied. Maybe it’s because we want better for our kids and for our future, but we are rarely content. Our kids have picked up on this and it’s often easier to see our lack of gratitude in our children than in our own hearts.
This month in our online parenting class we want to help your child embrace gratefulness. Just a warning before we begin. The topic this month might shape your heart as much as your child’s. That’s ok because as parents we learn from our kids as much as they learn from us. Parenting is nothing more than a great learning lab where we all grow into the people God is calling us to be.
When it comes to helping your kids embrace gratefulness the practice is caught as much as it is taught. You can’t help your kids with being grateful if you are not willing to strive to model it for them. What do I mean when I use the term grateful? Gratitude is displayed when we are able to look around at what we have, who we know, and what has been done for us and express thanks. At the heart of gratitude is the understanding that other people have helped us get where we are. When I’m grateful I let others know how much they matter to me and how blessed I am to have their help in my life.
As parents we want our kids to have grateful hearts and live grateful lives. It’s so good to know that God wants the same thing from each of us. In Psalms 100 we are reminded of what God wants from us when it comes to gratitude…
Psalm 100:4-5 (NLT)
Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and his faithfulness continues to each generation.
What is great about this verse for parents and for kids is that every morning we open our eyes we “enter his gates” and we are in “His presence.” What God wants from us and our kids is a simple heart of gratitude for every day that he gives us because God promises his love and faithfulness will endure when all the stuff we fight to hoard is long gone.
What we learn from this verse is that gratitude is a choice. Gratitude is a choice that parents and kids have to choose beyond circumstances. If our kids are going to see this lived out then they need us to model it for them. We need to choose gratitude when they can see it and experience it! What kids watch and experience will be what they will repeat when we are not looking.
How can we model it…I’m glad you asked! Here are a few gratitude moves my wife and I try to make in our home…
Express gratefulness to your spouse or other adults in front of your kids. // When we tell each other as adults how grateful we are for them kids pay attention. Being thanked feels great, so be an adult that is always looking for ways to give that thanks away.
Catch your kids doing well and express how grateful you are. // Did they clean their room, express gratitude! Did your child play hard at soccer, express gratitude that they are a hard worker! Find opportunities to bless your children with thanks.
Help your kids write thank you notes after holidays. // This is a great habit because it teaches kids the power of saying thanks when they receive!
Help your kids serve others. // Kids learn so much about how blessed they are when we take time to serve others. Serve together at church. Serve at a homeless shelter. Serve at Christmas together, and ring the bell for the Salvation army.
Give away stuff as you get stuff. // Help your kids see the joy of giving by actually purging that stuff in your house and give it to other kids who can really be grateful for it!
In a few weeks your children’s ministry will email you part 2 of this online parenting class. In our next session we will walk through some more practical ways we can help gratefulness be a integral part of home life with our children. We are even going to look at some gratitude lessons we can learn from how we use allowance! We want you to know that we are so grateful you took time to be with us and learn how you as a parent can pass down faith to your children!
Weekly tweets from you to parents:
TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell twitter to store a list of your tweets in one place for later reference.
- TWEET #1-A heart of gratitude understands that others helped us get where we are #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #2-Check out the book Smart Money Smart Kids by Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #3-Kids learn how blessed they are when they have the opportunity to SERVE others #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #4- Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others-Cicero #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #5-When it comes to teaching gratefulness to kids, the practice is more caught than taught #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #6-1 Thess. 5:18 Give thanks in all circumstances for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #7-One way to instill gratefulness, resurrect the practice of thank you note writing #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #8-Gratitude is a choice that sees beyond current circumstances #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #9- Be grateful for what you have and stop complaining-it bores everybody else, does you no good, & doesn’t solve any problems-Zigler #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #10-A grateful heart goes beyond saying thanks for stuff, it’s saying thanks to God even when we lack #urchurchparentministry