How do I teach my child to be respectful?
Email 1
Parents,
We would all agree that today we live in a consumerist society, and, sadly, when it comes to children and parents this can be the case as well. Parents are the givers of parental services and children are consumers. When we act as a consumer only we don’t sense the right to GIVE anything, and in the case of this month’s parenting class, that often includes RESPECT.
We want our children to be respectful towards us, towards their siblings, their friends, their teachers. Actually we expect them to be respectful towards EVERYONE. But how do we move from wanting a respectful child to actually having one? Check out this month’s video to begin the conversation on instilling respect.
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/101714863/9dcd51445a
We’ll be in touch later this month with more practical tools on HOW TO instill respect in your child.
Your partner,
Children’s Pastor
Email 2
Subject line: Instilling Respect Part 2
Copy/Paste the following email:
Parents,
Respect and honor, honor and respect. These words are used interchangeably in the Bible. We’re called to honor and respect EVERYONE, especially those who have authority over us. At the root of respect is treating others the way we want to be treated, that’s right, the golden rule. It’s not just a concept to talk about, it’s actually in the Bible!
Matthew 7:12 says, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the law and the prophets.” In other words, treat others the way you want to be treated. When we learn to abide by this golden rule we’ll find ourselves respecting those around us.
We know you’re asking for practical tools to make sure you’re helping your child be respectful to others, so here are a few principles to live by to encourage a respectful attitude in your child:
- Help your child be a courteous conversationalist, allowing others to talk, listening with eye contact, and not interrupting.
- Everywhere you go there are rules, so go over the expectations BEFORE you enter that unique situation. You’ll help set them up to respect those rules.
- Develop a language of respect in your home. Keep vocal tone and volume in check and apply consequences when your kids are out of bounds.
Yes, Aretha taught us to spell it: R-E-S-P-E-C-T, but now hopefully, you have some practical tools to teach it. Respect is one of those character traits that will help your child adjust well throughout his or her life. It’s one you’ll appreciate as her parents, his friends will welcome, and her co-workers will value.
Your partner,
Children’s Pastor
Video Script
R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to me! Thanks to Aretha Franklin we all know that it’s good to get a little RESPECT! It’s great to be respected by friends, by our co-workers, but there is nothing quite as refreshing as feeling respected and honored by our families. Now I am a guy so I am wired to thrive in the middle of respect. Respect fuels me but even if you are a mom watching this, you cherish those times when you feel honored by your kids.
As parents we demand our kids be respectful at school and when at sports practices because other people are watching and we don’t want to be embarrassed. The question this month is how do we back up and begin to place the same emphasis when they are at home. Is it possible for respect to be a natural part of our family’s daily rhythm?
This month in our online parenting class we are going to process together how we instill respect into the daily lives of our children. We hope that as we work on this issue together respect will become a natural part of each of our families as we all learn how to leverage the power of respect. What I have learned is that God really does care about this respect idea and he talked about it when He gave His people the 10 Commandments. As God is helping His people know to not steal and kill each other he drops a commandment in that focuses on the home…
Exodus 20:12 (NLT)
“Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the LORD your God is giving you.”
When it comes to instilling respect, as a virtue in the life of our kids, it’s critical to remember that through this simple verse God reminds us that R-E-S-P-E-C-T starts at home. Sure it’s incredible for our kids to treat their teachers with respect but kids learn the value of respect by starting that process at home with how they treat siblings and parents! Did you know that the number one subject searched on Google by teachers is…how to I teach kids respect! As we help our kids live out respect inside the home we are setting them up to live a life of respect outside of home. When we lead kids toward the virtue of respect we are teaching them that people really do matter!
God also reminds us that when we instill respect into our children we set them up for success in life. I don’t know about you but I enjoy being around people who are respectful to others! I lead a large organization and I really like hiring people who honor others as much as they honor themselves. God tagged this commandment with this promise, and it’s a really big deal. As we instill respect as a primary virtue at home we are also setting our children up to thrive in the future!
Instilling respect sounds difficult and we might even attach it to some negative experiences we had growing up where adults demanded respect but never gave respect. To help you process how to move forward with this idea in your home let me give you three practical suggestions that will help gain some forward momentum…
First…
Rest in your calling // Respect flows from confidence in your calling to be your child’s parent. God gave you your kids as a gift and it comes with authority in their life. God made you the parent. We don’t demand respect to make us “feel powerful” but rather with the heart to teach our kids how to treat others. God made you the parent so rest in that calling.
Give respect and get respect // Instilling respect in our kids gains true momentum when we give our kids respect as we call them to respect us and their siblings. As we give respect to our spouse and model that process our children will learn the harmony that flows from the gift of honor. Children learn quickly when respect only goes one way. Don’t allow that to be the story of your home! Give respect as you ask for respect!
Embrace the power of the second chance // My wife taught me this. When you hear disrespect just stop things in your home and remember this powerful statement….I’m sorry but that attitude isn’t cool. Can you try that again? Second chances are automatic teaching moments. Sometimes it may take several second chances but eventually they learn that disrespect is not allowed.
Instilling respect is so critical when your kids are in elementary school because as they enter the teenage years they will naturally pull away. You can’t wait to instill respect when they’re older because their hearts move toward independence. In part two of our online parenting class your children’s ministry will email you more practical ways to instill respect in your home! We are praying for you this month as you lead and invest in your family!
Weekly tweets from you to parents:
TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell twitter to store a list of your tweets in one place for later reference.
- TWEET #1- Respect flows from confidence in your calling to be your child’s parent. #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #2- Romans 12:10 tells us to outdo one another in showing honor. How is your family living this out? #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #3- As we help our kids live out respect inside the home we are setting them up to live a life of respect outside of home. #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #4- When you finish with your children the rest of the world has to live with them, so please teach them respect. #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #5- Supreme Court Judge,Clarence Thomas “Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.” #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #6- You can’t force someone to respect you, but you can refuse to be disrespected. #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #7- As we give respect to our spouse our children will learn the harmony that flows from the gift of honor. #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #8-Check out Love and Respect in the Family by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #9- When we lead kids toward the virtue of respect we are teaching them that people really do matter! #urchurchparentministry
- TWEET #10- Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. #urchurchparentministry