Disappointment: How Do I Respond When My Kid Disappoints Me?

EMAIL 1

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Subject Line: Dealing with Disappointment

Dear Parents,

It’s a subject that we might be afraid to talk about, but when our kids aren’t perfect we sometimes can feel disappointed.  As soon as we feel it, we can be tempted to feel shame.  How could we ever feel that way about our child?  

In today’s video we learn that feeling disappointment is natural, and it says way more about our need to adjust our expectations than our parenting skills.

To watch the brief video, click the link below.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/649305902/344718ef4b

Thank you for the privilege of partnering with your family. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

[INSERT LEADER’S SIGNATURE HERE]

EMAIL 2

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Subject Line: Disappointment is a Call to Action

Dear Parents,

When our child makes a decision that disappoints us, we can quickly feel anger and frustration.  That feeling is our heart simply telling us that something needs to change.  God uses this to lead us to a positive plan of action if we allow Him to do His work in us.

In our parent video this month, we talk through how to respond to disappointment in a healthy way.  

To get started, click on the link below.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/649305902/344718ef4b

As always, I enjoy partnering with your family. Please let me know if you have any questions.

Thank you,

[INSERT LEADER’S SIGNATURE HERE]

VIDEO

SOCIAL MEDIA SWAG

One of the hidden shames that a parent can feel is when they experience disappointment in their kids.  It’s not wrong to feel disappointment, and there is a healthy way to respond.  We discuss that in this month’s parent video.

We just released the parent video for the month.  It’s all about how to respond when we feel disappointed in our kids. 

How do we respond when our child makes a decision that we’re not proud of?  We discuss that in this month’s parent video.

We offer 3 ways to respond when you feel disappointed in a decision your kid has made. Check your inbox for more information.

VIDEO SCRIPT

Do you know that moment when you see your child make a decision that disappoints you? Maybe you find out they bullied someone or talked back to a teacher. Maybe they failed their first project or used harsh words with their siblings.

Every parent on the planet experiences the feeling of disappointment in their child, one way or another. It’s normal and developmentally appropriate within the parent-child relationship. And when it happens, it’s like that moment when you expected to get a bike for Christmas and got socks. So, the question is: What do you do with disappointment? 

First, admit it. As simple as that sounds, sometimes, it is hard to admit we are disappointed in our child for one reason or another. But it’s an important step to take before we interact with our child to give the appropriate consequences needed because if we don’t, we can react rather respond. 

Second, acknowledge to yourself that your child is human. Here’s what I mean. When they come into this world, they are adorable little creatures with their cute outfits and smell good lavender lotions. Then they grow out of the diapers, and now they have cute little sayings and give lots of cuddles. How can there be any human error in this precious, little, perfect angel? Well, it only takes a few days on an elementary playground to see the not-so-perfect side come out. And it’s during the elementary years where we see they are human, just like us, and we see our kids aren’t perfect and are in need, too. So when an incident occurs, and you’re disappointed, it’s healthy to acknowledge they are human.

Third, when the time is right, grieve what is needed. This moment is an important part of the process of being able to let go, so you don’t continue to bring it back up. Depending upon the level of disappointment, it may take minutes or months to work through the sadness of what happened. Acceptance looks different for each person, from a solo run on the trail to a quiet afternoon on the golf course to a five-page journal exercise. The goal is to let your mind wrap around the fact that it’s happened, and it’s time to accept it and take the next step.

These three tips: admit, acknowledge, and grieve, may be awkward for the first few times you try it, but over time, it can become a habit that you practice within the relationship to your child. Keeping your heart emotionally healthy will give you the freedom to continue parenting your child spiritually and emotionally AND get you ready as they transition into the teenage years.

New Families: How to Create a Community of Kindness

EMAIL 1

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Subject Line: Welcome New Families

Dear Parents,

A perk in having a community and a church is that we belong somewhere. We are in an environment where we can put down roots if we choose to do so. 

As new families come to town, they are in a different space. They have just picked up roots and, like a new plant from the garden store, are ready to find a fresh spot and put down new ones. 

As we work to create a community of kindness within our church, we want to share a few ideas we can do as a church family. In today’s parent video, we give you three quick and easy ways to welcome families to your school, neighborhood, community, and church. 

To watch the brief video, click the link below.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/639357184/b2d790c1c9

Thank you for the privilege of partnering with your family. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

[INSERT LEADER’S SIGNATURE HERE]

EMAIL 2

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Subject Line: A Community of Kindness

Dear Parents,

Our church is thankful to partner with our community in a variety of ways to make a difference. We believe in this city and the people who make up {INSERT THE NAME OF YOUR CITY HERE.}

One way we know we can make an impact is through the small gesture of kindness to new families. Moving isn’t easy, and the “new” can be overwhelming with a “new” home, pediatrician, schools, church, and more. 

In our parent video, we offer three creative ideas on how you can make a difference on the go in your everyday life. From PTO to neighborhood associations, you can create a community of kindness that will have our whole city talking.

To get started, click on the link below.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/639357184/b2d790c1c9

As always, I enjoy partnering with your family. Please let me know if you have any questions.

Thank you,

[INSERT LEADER’S SIGNATURE HERE]

VIDEO

SOCIAL MEDIA SWAG

Have you lived in our town your whole life? What about the last ten years? Or even five? If so, then you know what it’s like to “have roots.” From the pediatricians to the playgrounds, we know our way around. So how can we help those that don’t? How can we welcome the new families in town? Check out our new parent video with 3 creative ways to welcome new families. Check your inbox for more!

It’s here! It’s here! Your new parent video is here! Check your inbox for more information.

Moving isn’t easy, and “new” can be overwhelming with a “new” home, doctors, schools, church, and more. So we want to give our church families 3 ideas on how you can easily and quickly make new families feel welcome! Check your email for more information.

We offer 3 creative ideas on how you can make a difference by welcoming new families from the PTO to neighborhood associations. Check your inbox for more information.

VIDEO SCRIPT

How to Create a Community of Kindness: New Families

Have you lived in the same town your whole life? What about the last ten years? Or even five? If so, then you know what it’s like to have roots. You have your favorite place to eat as a family and your go-to spot for ice cream. You have your pediatrician and dentist. Roots are a good thing. But sometimes, when we have roots, we can live amiss to a whole group of people who are in need. 

When we settle into a community, it becomes easy to get into our rhythm and enjoy life. We have playgrounds, restaurants, shopping, playdates, schools, church. We are on the go and busy yet unaware of the new family who arrived on the scene. Not because we’re mean or unkind, but simply because we’re unaware. 

But if we’ve ever been on the other side, where we’re the new family, we know what it’s like to move into a new city with no established pediatricians, dentists, friends, church. We know the “new” can be overwhelming. 

So how can we, regardless of how long we’ve lived in our town, help make a difference with new families? How can we meet a need for a small group of people with a simple act of kindness? 

In today’s video, we give you three quick and easy ways on how to welcome new families to your community. It will give you one small way you can contribute to help foster a community of kindness.

1. First, grab a few acquaintances or friends to put together a small team. For example, if you’re a part of an organization, such as the PTO, neighborhood committee, or a church group, ask your friends and neighbors to hop in for the next few months.  Once you have your dream team assembled, work together to dream up creative ways to welcome new families into the community. It always helps to have a few assigned people who are intentionally on the lookout for “newbies.” 

2. Second, create welcome packets for your neighborhood, school, church, residential building, or city. In a world where we live on auto-pilot and in the hustle of the day-to-day, it goes a long way when someone offers an act of kindness and receives nothing in return. For example, ask your child’s administrator if you can gather a few parents and put together a Welcome bag with some school swag and include information on the community.  Or ask your child’s church leader if you can help put together something for new kids that come to a church gathering. This small gesture of kindness will go a long to help new families, but it also helps the community you live in. Most likely, your child’s school administration will be shocked at the kindness and initiative. AND, it gives you a reason to get together with some friends or your kids’ friends and have some fun.

3. Third, create a relaxed event. If your organization, such as the PTO or church, has starts and stops based on the school year, look to set an event at the beginning of the year. From popsicles on the playground to Sundays on Saturday, create a fun and inviting environment for new families and kids. You give them time to meet each other and the leadership you’ve invited. This event would be a great time to bring the Welcome packets that you and your buddies created. 

As simple as these ideas may seem, these small gestures of kindness go a long way to welcoming new families into the community. And for the new family, they will seem like big acts of kindness. 

We hope these tips spark creativity giving birth to your own ideas. Plus, we hope you and your friends find yourself having so much fun creating a culture of kindness.