Subject Line: Money Management and Allowance, Part One

Glad you are here!

This month we are discussing money management and allowance. We’re talking about how prominent this topic is in the Bible, and because of this, how important it is to teach your children to have a godly perspective about money.

To be able to best teach your kids, it’s important that you have a solid, biblical understanding of money and finances yourself. First, above all, acknowledge that God owns everything. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 4:7 that everything we have comes from God: “What do you have that you did not receive?” Human beings are but stewards of what God has given.

When introducing money management to your kids, teach them this truth. Then, as you establish ways to help them manage their money, and perhaps initiate an allowance system, this will be what under-girds everything. When children want to buy something that may seem unwise to you, encourage your kids to talk to God about whether it would be a wise way to steward what is ultimately His (knowing that in their minds and heart they may truly believe God would want them to buy that tenth Lego set).

You can also assist your children in understanding the concept of tithing and giving. Acts 20:35 says, “It is more blessed to give than receive.” If you children receive an allowance, help them understand the importance of giving a certain percentage back to the church—but also how much joy giving can bring. Investigate some ministries that might be of interest to your child. Together, design a jar that can sit on the counter that your child can drop money into when they receive their allowance. After the money adds up, help them send that money to a ministry that interests them.

Instilling these habits in your child from a young age will not only carry with them throughout life, but will change their perspective. Instead of thinking about what they want to buy with their money, they will begin to think of how their money is helping someone less fortunate.

I am excited for what you have ahead with your child. Teaching children about managing money wisely is one of the best things you can do for your child.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/200411694/ce6054d09f

Partnering in parenting with you,

Children’s Pastor

Subject Line: Money Management and Allowance, Part 2

Thank you for joining me again!

We’ve talked about managing money, tithing and giving, and how important it is to have God’s perspective of money. Let’s now talk about some creative ways to teach your kids, in a practical way, how to do this.

Delayed gratification, giving up today’s desires for future benefits, is a biblical concept. King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived said, “In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil, but a foolish man devours all he has” (Proverbs 21:20).

How can you help your child learn to save—in a fun way?

One fun way to help kids learn money management is to gather five or six plastic, see-through containers with lids and label them with a label-maker or a black Sharpie. Some ideas include: tithing, giving, spending, saving, and sharing. Find containers that stack well, so the footprint they take up is small.

Engage younger children by letting them decorate each container with stickers. You can use color-coded stickers for children who cannot yet read—then you can direct a child to “get some money out of the pink tithing jar!” Depending on the age of your child, you can have them help divide their allowance up into each jar.

Once their “saving” jar gets too full, you can bring your child into the bank with you and open up a children’s savings account. Every time the savings jar becomes too full, take a “field trip” to the bank. Let them see how much money they are saving! Give them ideas for what they can save for—a car, or college.

There are also Apps available for your smartphone. P2K Money and Kids Money are great, free options. Each teach the child about saving and planning for long-term purchases. They help children keep track of income like allowance or payments for doing chores.

Kids love money, and they love buying things with money. The trick is to help them understand the wise way to handle the money they have. I am praying for you and your family as you venture into this fun area of money management. And it can be fun! Use your creativity.

Trusting God with you,

Children’s Pastor

Subject Line: Conversations Through TV Shows and Movies, Part One

Hi there!

This month’s video is on prompting conversations through TV shows and movies!

Television shows and movies are just two media that kids watch. Beyond that, network and cable television, DVDs, and online streaming providers increase access to media for your kids. This is the world they live in, and it’s likely not going to magically disappear. Rather than fearing what they could be exposed to, commit to teaching and training your child in the why—why it’s important to learn what is okay to watch and what isn’t.

Bob Waliszewski, the author of the book Plugged-In Parenting, offers a few ideas for parents who wish to take a proactive approach to the media.

Waliszewski suggests having an honest and ongoing discussion with your child about the importance of protecting their minds—he suggests having that conversation two times per year.

In that conversation, you can talk about how the Bible encourages people who follow Jesus to guard their minds and hearts. Proverbs 4:23 says, “More than anything you guard, protect your mind, for life flows from it” and Jesus taught in Matthew 15:19 that “out of the heart come evil thoughts . . .”

Help your child to understand that the things we put in our mind—words, images, ideas—drop down to our hearts. What comes out of our hearts reflects this. If we fill our minds with good things, what comes out is good. If we fill our minds with bad things, what comes out will likely be bad.

Brainstorm ways that as a family you can make decisions about what is okay to watch and what isn’t. You may have to steer your child toward what this “looks” like. Violence, language, and even how characters respect parents in a show could be standards for what is okay or not. Of course, you’ll have to adjust these standards as your child grows and matures.

The goal is to raise children that will begin to sense that conviction in their souls when they aren’t with you—and make good and wise decisions on their own that carry in to their teenage years and adulthood.

A ten-year review of research on the impact of media on children and adolescents revealed children learn behaviors and have their value systems shaped by the media (Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry). Rather than letting the media be what shapes their value systems, commit to making your home what shapes their value systems.

I’m praying for you and your family. We are in this together!

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/206402355/002158ccb9

Children’s Pastor

Subject Line: Conversations Through TV Shows and Movies, Part 2

Glad to see you again!

We’ve been discussing how to incorporate God-focused and healthy conversations with your kids through TV shows and the movies. This is a tough topic, but one that surrounds your kids.

Though there are many negative consequences from the media, not all television shows or movies are bad. Rather than seeing the TV as the devil, look for ways to use what is already in your child’s world for good. Here are a few tips for talking with your kids about media—whether on TV, in the movie theater, on their computer or on their phone.

Ask questions. When a show comes on that is questionable or that communicates something you disagree with, rather than telling your kids why you think it’s wrong and shutting the TV off, ask them what they think. Jesus was a great question-asker! Ask your child, “What do you think of how that kid talked to his sister?” or “That scene was pretty violent. How did it make you feel inside? Should we consider no longer watching that show as a family?”

Explore media together. Children should be encouraged to criticize and analyze what they see in the media. Parents can help children differentiate between fantasy and reality, especially when it comes to sex and violence. When a show is excellent, steer your child toward seeing why: Was the storyline powerful? Did the actors do a good job? Was the movie good without violent scenes or bad language? Would adding those things have made the show any better? If the show had themes you don’t agree with, ask your child what they think.

Agree on shows. Involve your child in creating a list of shows that are okay for the family to watch, but also have them make those decisions because they understand why.

Rather than saying “no” to shows, always go back to God’s best. This will answer the “why.” Explain how God knows better than even moms and dads how our minds operate. The Bible gives instruction on keeping our hearts and minds pure, so God must have a pretty good reason for not wanting us to fill our minds with bad images. Teach your child that being careful about what they watch is ultimately an act of trust—believing God for what He knows is best.

Standing firm together with you,

Children’s Pastor

Subject Line: Manners, Politeness, and Respect, Part One

Hello! So glad you are back!

As Christian parents, I’m sure one of your goals is to raise children who look different than the world—to stand out in this dark culture and behave in a way that honors God. But it’s tough! The world is a dark place, and kids are surrounded by many things that influence them otherwise. Your work is cut out for you.

We are here to help. This month’s Online Parenting Class video is about manners, politeness and respect. Let’s focus on one of those characteristics today: respect. Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines respect as, “high or special regard,” or “an act of giving particular attention or consideration.” Basically, when we teach our children to respect others, we are teaching them to consider them as esteemed or important.

The apostle Paul said, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves” in Philippians 2:3. The best model we have for one who respected others by valuing them more than Himself is Jesus—who went to the cross for us.

As a parent, it’s your job to teach respect to your kids when they are young. Here is a fun idea for how to help your child understand what respect “looks” like. Create a chart titled “What Respect Looks Like.” Divide it up into two columns, and then break the columns up into four rows. Label each box in the first column: in the classroom, on the playground, at home, and in my community.

Then, brainstorm what respect looks like for each of those places. Here are some examples:

In the classroom – Sitting still, raising my hand before speaking, following rules, being nice, listening to the teacher and other students, cleaning up after myself

On the playground – Being helpful, playing fair, playing by the rules, not being a bully, being aware of the little ones, listening to the playground monitor

At home – Listening to my parents or family members who are older, doing chores, keeping my room clean, taking care of my pets, obeying my parents, talking quietly

In my community – Not littering, obeying authority, keeping the front yard clean, saying hello to neighbors, thanking policemen and firemen

This is just one of many ways to teach respect. When you witness your child respecting you and others, make sure to acknowledge that you took notice. It will build them up and reinforce what respect “looks” like.

I’m praying for you and trusting God is meeting you each day as you strive to “train up [your] child in the way he should go” (Psalm 22:6). Press on!

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/200413504/bd2310ab3e

Your partner in parenting,

Children’s Pastor

Subject Line: Manners, Politeness, and Respect, Part 2

Hi there!

Children are a work in progress. Their behavior at two years old will be completely different at four. And their behavior at seven years old is light years away from where they will be at twelve! They must learn what is appropriate behavior . . . and what isn’t. It’s not something they will inherently know.

We are talking about manners, politeness, and respect in this month’s Online Parenting Class video. The best advice I can give you for teaching your child manners, politeness, and respect is to model it yourself. Show your child what unselfish, polite, and respectful living looks like. Treat others with kindness, share what you have, be generous, honor guests in the home, open doors for others, and speak well of people. Above all, love others because God loves you. When you live a life of integrity yourself, you will be worthy of your child’s respect.

Then, when you work on the details of helping your child act out these character qualities in real life, it will be from a solid foundation. Teach your kids that all people have value because they matter to God. Every man, woman, and child regardless of gender, religion, ethnicity, or cultural background is made in God’s image. God loves all people, and thus, so should we. If every person has value to God, then they should be treated as such.

But there are practical ways to teach your kids manners, politeness, and respect. Teach kids to address adults with titles and last names. Teach them to stand when introduced to an adult, and to respond when an adult speaks to them and look them in the eye. Teach your child that you offer their seat up to an adult—and especially to pregnant women! When they make a mistake, teach them to apologize quickly and ask for forgiveness if necessary. Teach them not to use disrespectful words or a rude tone when speaking to others. Listen, never demean or embarrass another human being, and don’t damage other people’s material possessions.

Press on in your work in parenting, and never give up in the quest to teach your kids manners, politeness, and respect. It will go well with them if you do!

My prayer for you is that you do not feel alone in your parenting. I’m available if you have questions or need support as you continue on this journey of parenting—a high calling from God!

Standing firm with you,

Children’s Pastor

Subject Line: Helping Around the House, Part One

Hello there!

Though the end-goal is raising children who become mature, responsible adults, training children in the area of helping around the house isn’t always easy. In fact, sometimes it can be downright awful! Children will do almost anything to get out of chores. Often kids spend more time arguing about their chores than actually doing them. Some parents throw their hands up in the air and, to alleviate the tension, end up doing the chores themselves.

Ultimately, the chore is not the issue—it’s what you are training your children for. Yes, it’s often easier to run your child’s socks upstairs and put them away, or pick up the toys in the family room. But as the parent you are not only teaching responsibility but what it means to be part of something—in this case, a family. However, the longer-term goal is to teach them the importance of working together to accomplish something bigger than themselves.

Perhaps a simple shift in attitude will help create an atmosphere in the home where kids want to help with chores.

Chores teach what it means to be part of a team. One father tells his children, “We are part of a Team-Smith. We all have to work together, or the family won’t win the game!” Rather than communicating to the child he or she has to do what mom or dad says just because, strive to instill a team spirit in the home. We all work together because we are a team, and we want to “win the game.”

You can also strive to teach children to work hard, but leave time for fun. This is a value that the child will carry into adult life. Another mom says to her children, “After we work, we get to play!” When kids begin to whine and complain, remind them of something fun coming later in the day or week. When we work together as a family to keep things rolling in the house, it opens up time more time to play.

Finally, when children balk at doing chores, you can lovingly remind them cleaning up their toys is ultimately not to please mom or dad, but God. Teach them Colossians 3:23 which says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.”

Children are by nature self-focused, and it’s our job as parents to lovingly steer them toward understanding that the earth does not revolve them. Contributing to the family in the area of chores is just one way to help kids understand the big world they live in and how they play an important part in keeping it going.

I encourage you to try to make some simple shifts in the atmosphere of your home regarding chores. I am praying for you that it becomes a joy for the family and not a source of tension.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/200406606/56152b14a0

I’m committed to walking with you as you parent!

Children’s Pastor

Subject Line: Helping Around the House, Part 2

So glad you are back!

Our video for this month addresses ideas for engaging your children in Helping Around the House. Helping around the house is a simple way to teach your kids to apply godly truths about hard work and responsibility.

Don’t miss out on great discipleship moments by passing off your child’s age or ability as why they can’t do chores. Participating in household tasks is something even very young children can do! However, assigning tasks that are clearly over your child’s head will make chore time terrible for everyone. The following ideas will get you started on age-appropriate chores.
Then it’s your turn to be creative and brainstorm jobs appropriate for your child.

2- and 3-year-olds: Shine the bathroom sink with a towel, carry dishes to the sink, pick up toys, fold washcloths, or tear lettuce for the salad.

4- and 5-year-olds: Sort socks, put away toys, help set the table, carry dishes to the sink, stack magazines, put away dishes, or dust.

6- and 7-year-olds: Take the dog for a walk, empty the dishwasher, prepare lunch, make the bed, weed garden, or rake leaves.

8- and 9-year-olds: Set the table, load the dishwasher, clean the bathroom sink, feed, brush, and bathe the pet, put away laundry, or empty the trash in the bathrooms.

10- and 11-year-olds: Bring in the mail, run the dishwasher, vacuum, fold and put away laundry, take out the garbage, put away dishes.

12- and 13-year-olds: Do laundry and put it away, change sheets, mow the grass, make simple meals, clean the shower and toilet, wash windows, or wash and vacuum the car.

The key to each age and responsibility is to help the child succeed and extend praise. Even very young children want to feel like they did something right and that they were able to contribute to the family and do something “grown up.” Though you may have to re-do some of the tasks, always remember the reason you are having your child help around the house—to help them learn responsibility. Taking responsibility is a normal part of growing up.

I hope this month’s Online Parenting Class has given you some tangible ideas for helping around the house. I am praying for you and your family!

Press on in parenting,

Children’s Pastor