Category Archives: Preschool Parenting Class

Month 3

Potty Training

Email 1

Email 1
Subject Line: All Aboard the Potty Train

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Parents:

All aboard! Ready or not, it may be time for you and your little one to board the potty train! This is one of those milestones that you are either excited about tackling or you are dreading it, but we all have to deal with it. We can’t send them off to Kindergarten in diapers!

It seems that every child expert will give you their take on when is the best time to start potty training and the best way to achieve it. We aren’t claiming to be potty training
experts, but maybe we can help out with some tips and advice. Let’s be honest, when it comes to big parenting jobs, we all need some help sometimes!

Take some time and check out this month’s video on potty training. We will go over some guidelines and help you to make sure you are on the right track. Later this month,
we will go into more detail with some ideas and suggestions to help you on your way.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/99466316/7e131287f0

Thanks,

Children’s Pastor

Email 2

Subject Line: All Aboard the Potty Train, Part Two

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Parents,

It seems like just yesterday that you brought your little one home and were buying those tiny newborn diapers. Suddenly your baby is now a toddler and you may be wondering if it is time to begin potty training. How do you know if your child is ready? How do you know if you are ready? This month we are going to help you work your way through potty training!

The first thing you need to decide is if your child is ready or not. It seems these days that parents are trying earlier and earlier to leave diapers behind. However, there is no magic age that children should be potty trained by. This milestone hinges on physical and emotional readiness, not a specific age. Some children are able and show signs of being
ready at 18-24 months and some are three or four before it finally clicks with them.

First, let’s make sure if they are ready or not. Does your child seem interested in the potty/toilet or in wearing underwear? Does a wet or dirty diaper upset them? Do they
tell you they have to go through their words, actions or facial expressions? Are they staying dry for two or more hours during the day? If you answered yes to most of these,
there is a good chance that your child is ready to begin potty training. If the answer is no, you probably need to wait a little while. It’s important to remember that your child cannot be rushed in this task. Every child is different and trying to get them to accomplish something that they aren’t ready for will only make this a negative experience for them and you.

If you have established that your child is ready to begin potty training, where do you begin? First of all, you may need to make sure you have the proper equipment for your
child. Buy a potty chair or seat that attaches to your toilet, or even better, let your child help to pick one out. This ownership can help them become excited about using it. If you don’t want to use a separate potty, make sure you have a stool so your child can easily reach the toilet.

Next, create a routine for your child. Pick a time (after breakfast, before bath or snack) and let them sit on the potty everyday. This helps them understand that this will be a normal part of their routine now. If your child cries or seems scared, you may want to wait a little longer to begin trying but keep the potty visible and talk positively about it. We don’t want this to be scary for them!

Sometimes, demonstration can be the best teaching tool. If you are comfortable with it, allow your child to see when you or an older sibling goes to the bathroom. This is a good
time to talk them through the process to help them understand what you are talking about. This process is a time to be very open and honest with your child so that there is no misunderstandings or confusion for them.

Choose a time that you are going to “begin” potty training. At first, this needs to be your main focus, your main task at that particular time. Encourage your child to sit on the
potty as much as they are willing to. Let them know that it is ok to ask for help with clothes. Don’t put your child in clothes that are hard to get on and off. Avoid zippers and
buttons, they will just be in the way! If you are able, let your child play around the house without a diaper on. It may mean more clean up for you, but it allows them to get to the
potty quickly and get used to the idea of no more diaper. Some parents like the idea of training pants or pull-ups while some would rather go right to underwear. Use whatever
works for you and your child and makes this experience easy and stress-free as possible! Watch your child closely. They will provide you with cues and signs that they are about
to go. You must be involved in this process as much as you can. They won’t do it by themselves! You must be devoted and make sure not to do it half-way. If you aren’t committed to this, they won’t be either.

If your child successfully uses the potty, praise them! This is a huge accomplishment for them! Let them know how proud you are. You may want to incorporate a reward system
for them to provide further incentive to keep up the good work. You can find free charts online or make one of your own. Use stickers or small treats to reward them for a good
job. Use something that is consistent with your parenting style. At the same time, handle accidents gracefully. This is a learning experience for them and you must be patient.
Temporary setbacks are normal. Most kids aren’t going to excel at this right away.

Now that we know what to do, what should we avoid? Don’t be in a hurry to start this process before your child is ready, it will just make it harder and longer. Be very aware
of what else is going on in your life. If you are about to welcome a new baby or move into a new home, you should wait until things calm down and become a little more consistent. Be careful not to add unneeded pressure on your child and be sure not to use punishment if they fail. Don’t scold or shame your child. This could only fuel their resistance or make them afraid to try.

Potty training is one of those milestones that parents dread or postpone. Remember that this is just another occasion that your child will complete as they grow up. It may seem
like it is taking forever and that you aren’t making any progress, but don’t give up! Your child won’t graduate from high school still in diapers! As hard as it can be, stay patient with your child and make this a positive experience for you all.

Thanks,

Children’s Pastor

Video Script
Thank you so much for joining us today as we tackle a topic that as parents we all have to deal with as much as we may dread it: potty training your child. Have you ever had the thought, “If I had a dollar for every diaper I have changed since becoming a parent…”? We’d probably be well into that college account by now. However, now your baby is a toddler and it may be time to consider potty training.

We have our pick of books, websites, friendly advice telling us the best way, how their child did it. The good, the bad and the ugly. But how do you know which way is the right way? The last thing I am is a potty training expert, believe me, I wish I were. We are approaching it in our own house right now with our daughter. This month we would like to give you some helpful tips and guidelines that may help you if you are trying to board the potty train.

The first thing you need to decide is if your child is ready. Many children show interest between 18-24 months, while some are three or older. Some kids just get it really quickly and some struggle for a while. The important thing to remember is that if you start too early and push your child before they are ready, it may take even longer.

Ask yourself these questions about your child:

Do they seem interested in the potty chair or toilet?
Can they understand and follow basic directions?
Do they complain about a wet or dirty diaper?
Does your child tell you through gestures, words or facial expressions when they
have to go?
Are they staying dry for two or more hours during the day?

If you answered yes to most of those questions, there is a really good chance that your child is ready to start potty training. If the answers were mostly no, you may want to wait a little while longer.

Now that you have established that they are ready, what should you do next? Most parents buy a potty chair or a special seat for the toilet. Remember, they are very small and a big toilet may seem intimidating. Let them be part of picking out their potty. It may help their excitement level about this whole process.

Once you have done that, establish a routine with your child. This is going to take work on your part. You can’t be so busy that you hinder their progress. You may want to plan a few days at home so you can create a routine of going to the potty repeatedly without having to worry about traveling or public restrooms. When my husband and I potty trained our son, we set aside a weekend and created a potty training boot camp. We lived potty training that weekend, it’s all we did! I know this can be hard to fit into our busy schedules, but it’s so important. Make sure that
you are committed to this if you want them to be. That being said, be very aware of what is going on in your own life. If you are about to have a baby, go on a trip or move into a new home this probably isn’t the best time to begin.

Be open with your child about what you expect from them. This is completely new. We can’t expect them to know exactly what we want them to do. Don’t be afraid to get honest with your child. If they succeed, be giving with your praise, but be careful about discouragement if they don’t get it right away. This may take more that a weekend for them to catch on. This is one of those times that you are just going to have to be patient.

Potty training definitely isn’t one of the glamorous parts of parenting, but it is one of the areas that we all have to go through. Ask parent friends of yours what worked for them. Read books and articles by the experts and then create a plan that works for your family. There is no one way to potty train. We just want to give you some support and hopefully helpful advice along the way.

Later this month be on the lookout for our next parenting class email. We will go a little deeper into some of these steps and give some suggestions that we hope will help your little one conquer this step in growing up and become fully potty trained.

Weekly tweets from you to parents

TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell twitter to
store a list of your tweets in one place for later reference.

Tweet 1 – Potty training is a huge milestone in your child’s life. Let us help make it a little easier. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet 2 – Potty training hinges on physical/emotional readiness, not a specific age. Is your child ready? #urchurchparentministry
Tweet 3 – Approaching big milestones can be stressful. Learning about and anticipating them can make it easier. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet 4- If you want your child to be consistent, you must set the example. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet 5 – Praise your child for their accomplishment. Growing up is hard work #urchurchparentministry
Tweet 6 – If you want to help your child reach major milestones, you have to be patient.
#urchurchparentministry
Tweet 7 – Your preschooler looks to you as an example. Show them not to give up
when tasks are hard. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet 8 – Preschoolers can become easily discouraged. Encourage them to keep trying. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet 9 – Your continued support and sensitivity to your child’s needs will encourage their progress. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet 10 – Allow your child to develop at their own rate. Remember, every child is different! #urchurchparentministry

Month 2

Overcoming Separation Anxiety

Email 1

Email 1
Subject line: Helping my child overcome separation anxiety

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Parents,

Either you’ve already experienced it, you’re in the middle of it, or it’s on the horizon. What is it? Separation Anxiety. Pediatricians help us understand that separation anxiety is so tough on kids because they don’t understand object permanence. A child realizes Mom is gone, and what they think is, “Oh my gosh, MY MOM IS GONE,” like forever gone.

It’s why we play hide and seek or peekaboo with little ones. We want to reinforce the idea that even though you can’t see an object doesn’t mean it’s gone. The fear produced over this misunderstanding is what we call separation anxiety. It creates an anxiety in our children, and much of the time, an anxiety in us as parents.

Take some time to check out this month’s video to see how we can deal with anxiety. Later in the month you’ll receive some practical tools for how to help your child conquer separation anxiety.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/95865874/650be0e74c

Thanks,

Children’s Pastor

Email 2

Subject line: #2 of Helping My Child Overcome Separation Anxiety

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Parents,
Clinginess and tears are actually a healthy reaction to separation. It shows our child is bonded to us. As a child grows older separation anxiety should lessen. In the meantime how do we deal with it as a parent?

We can’t always be WITH our child, but there is One who is ALWAYS with them. And not only is Jesus always with them, His affection for them is always present. Romans 8:35-39 says,
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

So as we REST in the fact that God is always present with our child, and has a constant love for them what can we DO as parents to help a child move past separation anxiety?

Develop a goody-bye ritual. Don’t sneak away when you’re child isn’t looking. This actually leads to more anxiety. Give a kiss on the forehead, say, “I love you. Bye Bye sweetie.”
Be consistent. Your child will become more comfortable with drop off at daycare and/or church as they become more consistent with the environment.
Leave with confidence. If you walk out of the room then turn back around and return to retrieve your child, you are reinforcing the thought that something is wrong. Give the teacher your cell phone # and have them shoot you a quick text in 5 minutes to give you a status update.
Come up with a comfort object. Sometimes sending in a special object from home helps a child transition better.

Separation anxiety is lessened when we as the parent exude confidence and calmness at drop off. Leaving your child will actually help your child in the end, so fight the urge to feel guilty about leaving them. Your job as a parent is to help them become independent, and they can’t do that while clinging to your leg!

Thanks,

Children’s Pastor

Thanks a ton for joining us as we tackle this issue that every preschool parent faces, how do I help my child overcome separation anxiety? Sometimes it’s helpful to know there is safety in numbers, and this is definitely the case with separation anxiety.

Although almost every child will deal with some level of separation anxiety, WHEN this occurs differs from child to child. The common age range for separation anxiety is from 8 months to 2 ½ years of age. Eventually your little one will be able to understand that you’ll come back, and that will be the comfort that carries them through during separation. But what do you do in the mean time? How do you handle the in between that can be months long?

As you drop off your kiddo to daycare, church, or with a sitter, as a parent we know, we should just say our goodbye, give a kiss, then turn around and leave. Those cries we hear at departure time are ones that completely tear at our heart-strings. God gave us our child to keep them safe, so when we hear scared cries that accompany good-byes, we automatically want to run back to take the tears away. So even though separation anxiety is a normal part of preschool development, it can be quite unsettling.

God clearly knows well that each of us will deal with anxiety in some form. There are 66 books of the Bible and in EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM there is some sort of reference for dealing with anxiety. As adults we have the ability to logically discern the potential reality of our worries. A child does not. They only know what exists presently in their mind.

Knowing our child is struggling with separation can feed into our own anxiety. Our child senses our anxiety and that feeds their anxiety, which has the potential to cause a VISCIOUS cycle!

One of the best things we can do is deal with our own anxiousness over the separation. Philippians 4:6 states, Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Separation anxiety can be worsened by how we as parents deal with it. As you drop off your little one, cling to this verse from Philippians! Say it to yourself as you turn your back and walk away. Then present your request to God. Ask Him, God please help calm my baby. Help them to realize that I will be back. Keep them safe while away from me.

How a kid handles the separation varies. The emotions of a kid dealing with separation anxiety can range from a timid look with a downcast face all the way to a wailing child who has death gripped themselves around your leg. No matter how your child is fleshing out the emotion of separation anxiety there is something that we can do to help.

Our next online parenting class will take some time to give you practical tools for dealing with separation anxiety in your child. In the meantime realize God wants our anxiety. He tells us to cast our worries on Him because He cares for us.

Weekly tweets from you to parents:
TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell twitter to store a list of your tweets in one place for later reference.

TWEET #1- Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #2-Romans 8:35, who shall separate us from the love of Christ #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #3- Children attempt to avoid separation by testing boundaries, stand firm #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #4- A mother who is never apart from her young child may be saying to him or her subliminally-You are only safe when I’m with you #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #5-Attachment is the sense of being loved and being part of the world, healthy attachment is GOOD #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #6-Romans 8:38-39 I am convinced NOTHING can separate us from the love of Christ #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #7-A secure child isn’t worried internally, but able to focus on truly living in the world around them #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #8- Anxiety weighs down the human heart, but a good word cheers it up #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #9- Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #10- Peace I leave with you-my peace I give you.I don’t give to you as the world gives. Don’t let your hearts be troubled & don’t be afraid #urchurchparentministry

Month 1

Playing the Comparison Game

Overview:

Email 1
Email 2
Video Script
Parent tweets

Email 1Subject line: Playing the Comparison Game

Copy/Paste the following email:

Parents,

Being a parent is hard work and sometimes we wonder if we are doing a good job? We hear about other families, other people’s kids and it can be easy for doubt to creep in. Comparing ourselves to others is natural and depending on the situation can either make you feel like parent of the year or a total failure. The last thing you want to hear about when you were up all night with your ten month old is how someone else’s two month old is sleeping through the night! Or how about running into that mom who is always perfectly put together when you can’t remember the last time you got a shower?

Comparisons can be harmful to our self esteem and our outlook on how we are managing. It’s easy to fall into this trap. Before we close the blinds and shut ourselves off from all human contact, we have to realize that we all have good and bad days. No one has completely mastered being a parent!

Take some time and check out this month’s video to see how we can deal with those moments we feel like we don’t measure up. Later this month, you will receive some tools to help you when you are playing the comparison game.

Here is the link to the video: https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/90162336/2b9dba9f43

Thanks,

Preschool Minister

Email Two 2

Subject Line: Playing the Comparison Game

Copy/paste the following email:

Parents,

Have you ever had one of those days when you just barely make it out the door? House is a wreck, you haven’t had a shower today and the kids are already fighting. Your parenting self esteem has already taken a hit when you run into that family. You know the one: they look like they just stepped out of the pages of a magazine, kids are behaving perfectly and mom has brought homemade goodies for the kids to share. How do they do it? Why can’t we do that? Why can’t our child excel like theirs? Sometimes you feel like a parenting what-not-to-do.

It is completely normal to compare ourselves and our kids to others. Unfortunately, we often can pick out our own faults and flaws and they seem to be amplified next to those “perfect people”. The truth is that no parent and no child is perfect. Even those seemingly perfect families have their own problems, too. So what can we do when we catch ourself falling into the comparison trap?

Remember that milestone development is relative. Of course you want to make sure that your child’s development is on track, but obsessing over it is not helpful. Don’t let others set the standard for where your child should be. Talk with your child’s pediatrician. If they are comfortable with how your child is growing, you should be too. If you don’t trust your pediatrician, you need to find a new doctor.
Don’t turn parenting into a competition. Being a parent is hard, even on a good day. Why make it even harder by setting unrealistic expectations on yourself and especially on your child? Every family has their own set of issues that they struggle with every day, some just hide it better than others! You never know what someone else may be dealing with behind closed doors.
Realize that comparisons can steal your joy. Why purposely invite any sort of conflict into your life? We should be striving to be joyful and to find joy everyday. Comparisons can lead to envy and jealousy. Proverbs 14:30 states “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” Find parent friends who are supportive rather than competitive and be that friend to others.
Be able to admit and own weaknesses, and at the same time recognize and utilize strengths. What is your child good at? Celebrate that and let them know that you are proud of them. Help them to find activities and projects that interest them and that they enjoy. Your child is a unique individual who has things they are good at…do you know what they are or are you too focused on what they cannot do? Apply this to yourself as a parent as well. You may not be the best goodie-baker, but you tell the best stories.

Take a good look at your child. Are they happy, healthy, safe and loved? Congratulations, you are a good parent. Ultimately, these are the things that are important. Enjoy your children for who God created them to be and appreciate the job you have been blessed with as their parent.

Thanks,

Preschool Minister

Video Script

Topic: The Comparison Game

Thank you for joining us at parentministry.net for our first online parenting class for Preschool! We are going to talk about a topic that every parent deals with at some point. This month’s subject is how to handle playing the comparison game with others.

Due to some medical issues, my son suffered from delayed speech. When he was two years old, he was completely nonverbal. We saw doctors, had multiple tests run and began private therapy. The prognosis was good: he would talk, but his speech would be delayed and there was no real timeframe for when it would begin and how it would progress. The good news was that he would talk, but that was sometimes hard to remember. We went through a time that it seemed like we were surrounded by chatterbox children. At preschool, church, the park, everywhere we went, kids were talking up a storm, but our son was silent. He finally began talking at the age of three, but it was a very slow process. We knew we were doing everything we could to help him, but we couldn’t help to wonder if it was enough. It was hard to hear other families able to talk with their kids when we could not.

It is such an easy trap to fall into. Everyday we are in contact with other people. If you are anything like me, your children come up in conversation all the time. We like to check in with each other and brag on our kids! Harmless comments like “Our baby slept through the night at 3 months old!” “Hannah is already potty trained and it only took three days!” “We already have a college fund set up for John!”…who is four by the way, suddenly these comments aren’t so harmless. Now, we are doubting every parental choice we’ve ever made and wondering why our child isn’t like theirs.

Comparisons are so easy to make. They may even seem harmless. We measure progress in any area of life by checking out how we compare. Of course we don’t really think less of our child just because they aren’t just like our friends children! However, playing the comparison game can be harmful for you and your child.

It is natural for us to look for a frame of reference when it comes to raising children. It is such a relief to find parents who are going through the same thing you are. On the flip side, if you find yourself comparing your situation to someone who seems to have it all together or is doing it better than your family, it can be very discouraging. Playing the comparing game puts pressure on yourself as a parent and on your child to perform for the wrong reasons.

We are encouraged to watch for any problems or delays and to get help if we need it. No wonder we are constantly wondering what is “normal”! The truth is that children develop at different rates. We need to be able to celebrate achievements and milestones, regardless of how and when they may happen. They have different strengths, talents and abilities. As parents it is our job to help them develop what is uniquely theirs. Research shows as long as your child is reaching milestones within a normal range, how quickly they reach them has no real bearing on later skills.

Maybe you also compare yourself to that perfect parent. You know the one…they seem to have it all together while you are barely holding on. It can make you feel defeated and drained. Instead, why not focus on what you do well. We all have things we are good at!

Psalm 139:13-14 says, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

How wonderful it is to know that God purposely created each of us to be unique and we all know that God doesn’t make mistakes!

Young children believe what they hear. Don’t let your child hear you comparing them. By doing so, you imply that you wish your child was different. Instead we should praise them for what they are doing, regardless of where their skills may fall. Our kids are growing up in a society that tells them who to be and how to act. We want to be able to raise children who are confident in who they are and what they can do. That starts at home by enjoying your child and their abilities.

Later this month be watching out for our next online class email. We will dive into the different areas that we compare our experiences with those of others and how to avoid those traps. We will examine how to celebrate our kids for who they are and what they do.

Weekly tweets from you to the parents:

TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell twitter to store a list of your tweets in one place for later reference.

TWEET #1 – Comparisons are made everyday. It is up to us if we let them affect us. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #2 – As parents it is our job to help our children develop what is uniquely theirs.
#urchurchparentministry
TWEET #3 – Young children believe what they hear. What are you telling your child today?
#urchurchparentministry
TWEET #4 – Are you celebrating who your child is or trying to change them?#urchurchparentministry
TWEET #5 – Surround yourself with parent friends who are supportive rather than competitive.
#urchurchparentministry
TWEET #6 – Our kids are growing up in a world telling them who/what to be. Make sure your voice is heard and supportive. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #7 – Proverbs 14:30 A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Do not let competition steal your joy. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #8 – What are your child’s talents? Explore ways to help them develop those skills. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #9 – It is natural to look for a frame of reference in raising your child. However, do not let others dictate how you parent. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #10 – Celebrate your child, not their achievements. #urchurchparentministry