Sleep Troubles
Email 1
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Parents,
When you have an infant at home, sleep becomes a thing of the past. You get used to going on little to no sleep. As your child gets older, you may be hoping that you will be able to have deep, glorious sleep again. Then you realize that bedtime with a preschooler comes with its own set of obstacles.
Psalms 116:7 says, “Let my soul be at rest again, for the Lord has been good to me.” Everyone needs good, restful sleep. How do we encourage our preschoolers to embrace bedtime and rest? Take a few minutes and check out this month’s video. We will try to help you understand why bedtime can be so hard for our little ones. Later this month, we will address some practical tips that can help make this easier.
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/109633242/336c97ecd6
Thanks,
Children’s Pastor
Email 2
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Subject: Is bedtime a nightmare? Part two
Parents,
Psalm 4:8 says “In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety”.
We all want peaceful nights and restful sleep. That is hard to do when you have a preschooler who is anti-bedtime. Earlier this month, we addressed some of the problems that your child may be having at bedtime. Today we want to share some more practical tips to help make bedtime a little easier.
On average, preschoolers need 10-12 hours of sleep a day, including naps. Sleep is important in their development and overall good health. Resisting bedtime is another way that little ones can try to have control of situations. There are many reasons they may feel the need to do this. They may be delaying fears of the dark or bad dreams. Bedtime is another separation from parents, which can cause some children anxiety. Learning the reason for the resistance can help you know how to work on the problem.
Here are some tips to help out with bedtime:
- If your child doesn’t seem tired at bedtime, you may want to scale back on their naps or wake them up a little earlier in the morning.
- Read bedtime stories and sing songs in their room. Let them wind down and get comfortable where they will be sleeping.
- Give a warning. “After this story, it will be time to go to sleep.” This helps them to feel prepared.
- Use reward charts for good sleep behavior. Motivate them to do well!
Sometimes, children will not stay in their bed/room which can make for a very long night for you and them. You cannot allow bedtime to become a power struggle. If your child continues to get up each night, here is some advice from some professionals about what to do:
- 1st time up after goodnight – Remind your child that it is bedtime and take them back to their bed. Give one quick kiss, say goodnight and leave the room.
- 2nd time up – Repeat. Use a more firm voice and keep it brief.
- 3rd time up – Say nothing. Lead the child back to their room, place them in bed and leave the room. Repeat this last step as many times as it takes for them to stay in bed.
Kids will call your bluff, so stick to the routine. This may result in tears, fits and wailing, but be firm. Once they realize that getting up repeatedly isn’t getting them anywhere, they will back off and hopefully stay put.
If your child claims that they can’t go to sleep unless you are with them, you must help them feel secure in going to sleep alone. Follow your calming bedtime routine and offer them a comfort object like a stuffed animal or blanket. Maybe they need a nightlight in their room. Offer to check on them every 10 minutes as long as they stay in bed. If they are still awake when you come in, praise them for being so good and quiet and tell them you will check on them again soon to make sure they are okay. Knowing that you are nearby and coming back soon may be enough for them to get comfortable and feel safe enough to doze off.
Your child may be suffering from a different sort of sleep trouble such as having problems breathing, night terrors, sleepwalking or wetting the bed past the age of five. If any of these are the case, contact your pediatrician. This type of behavior falls in the category of sleep disorders and may require more professional assistance.
We realize how tough hard bedtimes can be on children and their parents. Hang in there and try to stay calm. Many times bedtime problems are just a phase. If you take the proper steps to create a positive atmosphere, it can go by much easier!
Thanks,
Children’s Pastor
Video Script
Every parent has been there. You are past the point of midnight feedings, you no longer have to get up to change diapers and your child has moved out of their crib. You foolishly think that you are about to get good, uninterrupted sleep again for the first time in a long while. Jokes on you, mom and dad. Now you have a preschooler who doesn’t want to sleep. What do you do when your child is antibedtime? This month we are going to work through how to deal when bedtime is a nightmare!
For many parents, their child’s bedtime is the most dreaded part of the day, and for good reason: Unless a preschooler is very tired, he may resist going to sleep. Twenty to thirty percent of children have some sort of sleep disturbances at some point in childhood. The truth is there are many reasons that a child may fighting bedtime. They may be afraid of missing out on something, they may be afraid of something or they are attempting to assert control by rebelling.
If your child is having trouble at bedtime, ask yourself some basic questions to try to narrow down the problem. Is their room too hot or cold? Is it too dark or is there too much light? Is their bed comfortable? Is it too noisy? Are they afraid of something? Is your child even tired? Being able to narrow down what the issue may be is the first step in solving the problem. Some issues, like temperature or light may be an easy fix. Others may take a bit more work.
Take a look at your child’s bedtime habits and see if any of these apply. Does bedtime seem chaotic? Will your child not fall asleep alone? Do they stay up too late? Will they not stay in their bed? Your home may have one of these problems or potentially a little of all of them. We have some suggestions that we hope you will find helpful.
One of the most important things to do is to establish a bedtime routine for your child. Toddlers can really thrive on routines and consistency. Your child’s bedtime routine must be focused on creating a calming, secure atmosphere for them to fall asleep. Most of us have very busy days. We need to help our children to slow down and get ready for sleep. A typical routine may consist of a variety of tasks. The typical routine in my home consists of a warm bath, picking out pajamas, a bedtime story and saying our prayers. We complete this routine almost every night. This allows our kids to wind down from their day and they won’t go to bed without some sort of story. Kids can’t and won’t just stop in the middle of playtime to go to sleep. Creating this quiet, calming bedtime routine is the basis of solving many problems that arise at night. It helps when children know exactly what to expect.
Kids may be afraid that they are going to miss out on something if they go to sleep. This may be especially true if they have older siblings who are still up. You can help to eliminate this by turning off the television or any loud music. Allow your entire house to calm down and it will help them to do the same. Maybe your child refuses to go to sleep alone. They cry and beg for you to stay in their room with them. Know that giving in to this creates a habit that will be hard to break. Set limits and stick to them. Helping your child feel secure will help them become more independent at bedtime. Try to find out, are they scared of something or do they just want more time with you? If you start the habit of staying in their bed, they will expect you to do it every night.
Nightmares are no fun for anyone. However, at this age, they can be especially distressing. Preschoolers have trouble distinguishing what is real and what is not. If your child wakes up afraid of bad dreams, do not belittle them or dismiss their fear. Hold and reassure them that they are safe, talk with them and stay until they are calm. Your child may benefit from a security object such as a blanket or a stuffed animal. Make sure that your child isn’t exposed to scary stories or television shows that may be inappropriate and scare them. Talking about fears during the day can help them to seem less scary and threatening.
If you allow them, your child may spend the entire evening putting off bedtime. One more story, one more kiss, one more drink…they will use every trick they can think of to keep you with them. Once you establish a routine for bedtime, stick with it. As tempting as it will be to give in ‘just this once’, it will only make things harder on you and your child.
Be watching for our second email later this month when we give you some tips and suggestions that will hopefully make bedtime easier for your child and you too!
Weekly tweets from you to parents:
TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell Twitter to store a list of your tweets in one place for later reference.
Tweet 1 – 20-30% of children have some sort of sleep disturbances at some point in childhood. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet 2 – Preschoolers average 10-12 hours of sleep/day. Is your child getting enough rest? #urchurchparentministry
Tweet 3 – Psalm 4:8 – In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet 4 – Toddlers thrive on routine and consistency. Do you have a bedtime routine? #urchurchparentministry
Tweet 5 – Does your child have a favorite bedtime story? If not, help them to discover one. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet 6 – Psalm 116:7 -Let my soul be at rest again, for the Lord has been good to me. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet 7 – Don’t allow bedtime to become a power struggle. Keep calm and stand firm. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet 8 – Children won’t just stop in the middle of playtime and go to sleep. Allow quiet, wind-down time before bed. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet 9 – A bedtime routine allows children to know what to expect and helps them to calm down. What is your routine like? #urchurchparentministry
Tweet 10 – It is your job to help your child feel safe and secure. When they do, bedtime can be easier. If you are stressed and frazzled, they will be too. #urchurchparentministry