How to Handle Bed Time without a Fight
Email 1
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Subject line: Getting Kids to Bed without a FightParents,
I’m not sure if you’ve ever had this thought, but I’ve often been jealous of a napping child. When I see a small child who doesn’t want to nap, I often think, “One of these days you’ll be wishing you could take a nap.” Sleep is very important for us as adults, but it is equally as important to children. The difference is they’re growing bodies need MORE of it than we do as adults.
“Poor sleep patterns are linked to stress, depression, memory loss, weight gain, lower attention and increased accidents” (kidshealth.org). Maybe you used to rock your little one to sleep, singing a little song as they drifted into sweet rest. With grade-school children it’s up to them to get themselves to sleep and sometimes that can be met with resistance. This month we want to walk through this issue of bedtime battles with you.
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/120256969/476f2de2e5
Be checking your email inbox later this month for part 2 of Getting Your Kid to Bed without a Fight. In that email we’ll lay out a step by step guide for taking the BATTLE OUT of bedtime.
Partnering with you,
Children’s Pastor
Email 2
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Subject line: Getting Kids to Bed without a Fight Part 2Parents,
Sleep is evidence of our humanity. We know God does not sleep. Psalm 121 tells us that. However, when Jesus lived as a man on earth we know he spent time sleeping. He even slept on boats during storms when everyone else was scared. As humans we need sleep. Our little ones need sleep and they need more of it than we do. However, you may find yourself fighting the battle of getting your child to bed pretty consistently.
This month we want to help you create a home where rest and sleep is held in high regard. So how do you start developing a culture within your home that values sleep?
- Establish a bedtime routine. One example is use the bathroom, put on pajamas, brush teeth, read the Bible with mom/dad, read quietly for 10 minutes then lights off. This routine stays consistent.
- Keep distractions out of the bedroom. No TVs, handheld devices on or in the bed. If toys left on the floor are a distraction, make cleaning them up part of the bedtime routine.
- Declare the bed a place for just sleeping. No homework, DS playing done while laying on the bed.
- Limit food and drinks containing caffeine and sugar before bed.
- Keep a consistent bedtime. It’s OK for this to fluctuate by 10-15 minutes, but if the bed time is 8:00, define that well. Does that mean 8:00 lights out, or 8:00 in bed? There’s a big difference between the two.
We know we are at our personal best when we’ve had enough sleep, but so are our children. Let’s fight hard to make sleep a priority for our families by starting a new rhythm at bedtime, one that takes the battle out of bedtime!
Partnering with you,
Children’s Pastor
Video Script
When we think of bed time we usually think of preschoolers and bed time stories and all of the horror stories that come with trying to convince our 2 year old they need to stay in their bed. What we have found over the years as our children have grown older is that fight to get kids to get the sleep they need is an ongoing battle for most parents. It’s been a struggle in my family and I bet it’s been the same in your home because the excuses get even more complicated in 3rd grade. This month we want to help your family face the battle of bed time without a fight.
As parents we never go through sleep training. Fighting the bed time battle is something every family tends to tackle on their own while secretly Googling advice online every night. No matter your routine it’s important to first understand that God created us to sleep. Slow down and think about that. God created you to spend almost one third of your life with your eyes closed and your mind shut off for the world so that you could be prepared for the two thirds of your life you are awake. There is a modern theologian you may have heard of named John Piper and he wrote an article called the Theology of Sleep on his blog and I want to share a section of it with you as you think about the importance of sleep for your child…Dr. Piper says…
We sleep a third of our lives. Just think of it: a third of our lives spent like dead men. Just think of everything being left undone that could be done had God not designed us to need sleep. There is surely no doubt that he could have created us with no need for sleep. Psalm 127:2 says, “It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved in his sleep.” According to this text sleep is a gift of love, and the gift is often spurned by anxious toil. Peaceful sleep is the opposite of anxiety. God does not want his children to be anxious, but to trust him. Therefore I conclude that God made sleep as a continual reminder that we should not be anxious but should rest in him.
With parents working long hours, schedules packed with school, after-school activities, and other lifestyle factors, naps are missed, bedtimes are pushed back, mornings start earlier and nights may be anything but peaceful. Many times the only reason they are out of control is we have never made them a priority in our homes. Rest is not something we see as a value in our society so in our homes we tend to push it to the background. Changing that rhythm in your home starts with embracing the reality that God created sleep and gives us permission to make it very important in our homes.
If bed time is filled with tension in your home we want to help you find peace in that part of your life this month. Good parenting starts with intentional planning and changes so start with thinking about these concepts for bed time.
Structure Leads to Security
The structure of bedtime routines also associates the bedroom with good feelings and provides a sense of security and control. Your bed time routine has the potential to remind your child every night they matter and God is with them!
Routines Eliminate Stress
Routines can take the stress out of bedtime and help make it a special time, especially if you have more than one child. Less bed time drama also helps you parent better because you are not tense because you have quiet time coming when the kids are in bed. Routine is also your reward!
Consistency & Boundaries Matter
Kids will always have that one last thing — kisses, hugs, a drink of water, using the bathroom. They can be quite inventive. Do your best to anticipate all this and get it done before getting in bed. And let your child know that once they are in bed, they have to stay in bed.
If you want to set your child up for success then leverage bed time and sleep in your home. Later this month we will send you part 2 of this online parenting class with some helpful practice to take the fight out of bed time. Don’t “sleep” on this value in your home and know we are praying for you as your parent your child this month!
Weekly tweets from you to parents:
TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell twitter to store a list of your tweets in one place for later reference.
TWEET #1-God created us to spend 1/3 of our life asleep. Rest is good for the soul. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #2- Sleeping well increases brain power just as weight lifting builds stronger muscles. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #3-For another bedtime routine idea check out Parenting with Love and Logic. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #4 –A healthy view of sleep embraces the reality that God created sleep & gives us permission to make it important in our homes. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #5- Light from TVs and other devices interferes with the production of melatonin, turn off devices 2 hours before bedtime. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #6-Psalm 127:2 God grants sleep to those He loves. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #7- What steps are you taking to develop a bed-time routine in your home? #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #8-Sleep is just as important as nutrition and exercise. SLEEP WELL! #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #9-What are you doing to take the battle out of bedtime? #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #10- Shakespeare: We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep. #urchurchparentministry