Category Archives: Kids Parenting Class

Conflict

How to Fight Fair

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Subject Line: How to Fight Fair, Part One

Hi there!

This month’s parenting video features a unique topic: how to fight fair with your kids. Does it seem a little strange to receive information on how to fight with your kids? The reality is fights happen. But there are healthy, effective ways to manage arguments to achieve positive results rather than building a thicker wall between you and your kid.

Arguments, more often than not, are power struggles; both people want to be right and will fight to the bitter end to end up on top as the winner. Recognizing this is what is going on with your child could shift how you approach the argument! They are little people acting out of their sin nature that everyone has—young and old alike. They want to win.

Here is where it’s important for you as the parent to act as the parent. Do a self-check for any anxiety you might be bringing in to the situation. Have you had a stressful day at work? Have you been arguing with your spouse or a friend? Your issues at that moment could play into how you respond. They could possibly cloud the situation at hand, and you might not see things not as they really are.

However, if the discussion escalates to a place of disrespect, your job is to make sure you don’t spiral to that same place as well. No matter how your child acts, responds or disrespects you, no matter how angry he or she gets, your son on daughter does not control how you behave. You can control your response. Charles Stanley once wrote, “A Christian has no right to fight unless it’s a spiritual fight.”

We sure hope this Online Parenting class has been helpful in dealing with fights that might erupt with your child. God’s Word promises that when we ask for help, He will respond: “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” (Heb. 4:16). I’m here to help you, too! Don’t hesitate to email!

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/175380702/755afa9efe

Your partner in parenting,
Children’s Pastor

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Subject Line: How to Fight Fair, Part 2

Hi there!

We’ve been talking in this month’s Online Parenting Class about how to fight fair with your child. What do you do if a heated discussion escalates to the point where you are losing your temper?

Let’s say you come home from being away from the house for a few hours to find the kitchen a mess and your child’s personal belongings all over the living room. You have company coming over in an hour, and you were not planning on spending the next thirty minutes cleaning up! Here are some ideas:

1. Stop what you are doing. Rather than opening your mouth and immediately reprimanding your child for trashing the house, take a breath. Don’t say anything until you pull yourself together.

2. Plan what you want to say to your child. When you have calmed down, and perhaps after talking to your spouse or a friend, plan or write out exactly what words you want to say and what tone you will say them in.

3. Take action. Tell your child why you are frustrated and what he or she needs to do next.

4. Retreat. Once you’ve said what you planned to say, disengage from the fight. Give them space to respond to your request.

The Bible provides some clear instruction for what God thinks about fighting, and He’s not too keen on it. Colossians 3:8 says to put off all such things as anger, rage, malice, slander, and abusive language, and Galatians 5:19–25 refers to angry outbursts, conflict and factions (among many other character traits) as part of a person’s old, corrupt nature before believing in God.

Parenting is not easy; that’s for sure! And parenting children who lose their tempers and have angry outbursts feels nearly impossible. However, God tells parents how they are to respond: with love, joy, peace, and patience, with great gentleness and self-control (Gal. 5:22–23).

Hopefully, this Online Parenting Class has equipped you with a few tips for how to settle down before a discussion with your child becomes a fight. We understand how difficult parenting is, and are ready with resources and advice when you need it. We are praying for you!

Praying for you and your child,
Children’s Pastor

Video Script

How to Fight Fair

I don’t know if you are a sports fan or not, but I’m just going to bank on the fact that at some point you’ve seen a football game or a basketball game, or something like that. Now, I want you to imagine what it would be like to play those games if you took out the referees, and you took out all of the boundaries. You wouldn’t be able to do it. It would end up in this huge chaotic fight, because in order for sports to work, you need to have someone there as a referee, and you need to have clear boundaries. You know, that works in family life too, and with your child, sometimes your family can get into chaos. I know it’s true, there’s not a home in this world that doesn’t at some point just go into chaos like a sports game without any officials, or without any boundaries, when your home is in chaos, and everyone is fighting. Well, I want to teach you just a few tips on how to fight fair.

The first thing is, draw the boundaries. Draw those boundaries. What I mean by that is, work with your child to make some very clear rules that they’ll respect in the house and that you will respect in the house. Please hear me, I told you to work with your child on this. If they are part of the process, they’ll respect these rules more. Let them make some suggestions. It may be humbling. They may say, “Well, I think the rules should be that you don’t yell at me.” Maybe that would be a good rule, to say no yelling in the house, and when we yell, that’s a penalty.

The second thing is, give authority to your child to call a penalty based on the rules. This is a little bit scary, but it helps keep everyone on the same playing field as far as fighting fair. Now, you are definitely the parent, I’m not suggesting you give that up, but if you break those rules, then the child should be able to respectfully tell you, “Hey, I thought that we weren’t doing that? We said we wouldn’t.” Just like you have the right to tell the child when they break those rules, “Hey,” respectfully, “Hey I thought we weren’t doing that? We said we said we wouldn’t.”

Third, they should be able to call a time out, so should you. Anybody in the family, at any moment, should be able to say, “This is too intense, I need a moment to calm down and think, I’ll be back. I need a time out.” The most important part of a time out though is to say, I’ll be back in 5 minutes, or I’ll be back 10 minutes.” What we don’t want to do is call a time out and then leave and never come back, that doesn’t build trust. When we call a time out, and we come back and want more calm. That gives a chance for us to fight fair, to talk about what really matters, to focus on the issues, not just the emotions that the issues are causing.

Now finally, you need a referee. I don’t know if you have someone that your family can go to, a counselor, or someone that’s trained to help bring both sides together when they are hurting. There’s going to be times in your family, it may be not now, but there’s going to be times in your family, and I would say in your marriage, where you have conflict that’s so deep that you just can’t work it out. Even if you are following the rules and nobody’s getting penalties called in it. Everybody’s staying within the boundaries. You might still get so stuck on an issue that you are facing, that you just need someone to come in as a referee, as that third party that will help guide the conversation and get you to a solution. I think, in my opinion, it’s important to have that person on speed dial so that you know and your family, no matter what you come across, you’ve got a way to find that solution.

Fighting fair is a beautiful way to live as a family. Everybody is going to fight, if you live that closely together in your home, at some point you are going to fight. It’s not bad to fight, as long as you fight fair.

Texts/Tweets

TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell Twitter to store a list of your tweets on one place for later reference.

Tweet One: Ask God for help when your child spins out of control! #fightinggodly

Tweet Two: You control how you behave, not your child. #fightinggodly

Tweet Three: Arguments are power struggles. Give yours up. #fightinggodly

Tweet Four: Seek God’s help before losing your temper with your child. #fightinggodly

Tweet Five: Fight with love, peace and patience. #fightinggodly

Tweet Six: Don’t engage in an argument before pulling yourself together. #fightinggodly

Tweet Seven: Put off all rage and anger; it’s the opposite of God’s nature. #fightinggodly

Tweet Eight: Conquer your child, your temporary opponent, with love. #fightinggodly

Tweet Nine: The Lord will fight for you. #fightinggodly

Tweet Ten: Victory is only found in the Lord! #fightinggodly

Past

The Importance of a Childhood Inventory

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Subject Line: The Importance of a Childhood Inventory, Part One

We meet again!

This month’s video focuses on a unique topic, and perhaps even a little bit painful for some, called a “childhood inventory.” However, it’s a good exercise, and may be one of the most healing things you can do for yourself that will spill over into how you parent your children.

The most significant thing to remember as a parent is that it is okay to make mistakes—in fact, every parent in the world has this in common! Be careful not to hold yourself to a standard of perfection that no parent can ever attain. However, when you do slip, take the necessary steps to avoid repeating those mistakes again.

Also, make sure to let yourself heal if you have a painful past. It might be hard, and it may involve seeking out a therapist who can work with you through your past. However, doing so is vital to raising emotionally stable children. Addressing any trauma you had as a child can make all the difference in how you parent today.

Seek out advice from trusted friends, family members or a family doctor. Even a guidance counselor at your kids’ school is an excellent resource.

Your childhood has shaped you more than you may know. Likewise, how you parent will mold your child. But be encouraged! It’s absolutely possible to break from the past and begin the cycle of loving, godly parenting—despite your personal childhood experiences. You might need a little assistance getting there, and this is where I want to be of help. Don’t be afraid to reach out!

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/175380700/cf70b53b50

With your family in mind,
Children’s Pastor

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Subject Line: The Importance of a Childhood Inventory, Part 2

So glad you are back!

If you didn’t have the best childhood yourself, that does not mean you are not well equipped or capable of being a fantastic parent! In fact, you have a beautiful opportunity to be a better parent. If you had a good (or even great) upbringing, you too can consider what you might do better or different than your parents. Ultimately, the goal should be to raise your children how God instructs you.

Here are just a few tips to encourage you toward wise and loving parenting, regardless of the kind of home you grew up in:

1. Strive for patience. One of God’s qualities is He is perfectly patient with us! 2 Peter 2:9 says, “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you.” That might not always be easy when parenting, but it’s something you can ask God to help you with daily. He says to present all things to Him in Philippians 4:6—even our need for help in being patient with children.

2. Remember the power of words. Words have the potential to breathe life into a person or death, according to Proverbs 18:21: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” As you work with God on being patient in all things, think twice before you speak and ask yourself, “Will the words I’m about to speak build my child up? Or will my words tear them down?”

3. Avoid arguing with your spouse in front of your kids. This might be one of the hardest things of all to work on! Children watch everything, including how you react to your spouse. However, Paul says in 2 Timothy 2:23–23 that we are to “have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone.” Guard your tongue and your anger when facing a disagreement with your spouse; it’s okay to disagree, but make sure to save the discussion for a time when your children aren’t around.

4. Respond positively to your children—even when they say something with which you don’t agree. Ephesians 6:4 says, “Parents, do not treat your children in such a way as to make them angry. Instead, raise them with Christian discipline and instruction.” Do you disagree with everything your child says, or try to correct their opinions? This may lead to exasperating or angering your child. Instead, affirm their feelings and opinions, even if you don’t agree or understand.

My prayer for you is that you do not feel alone in your parenting. I’m available if you have questions or need support as you continue on this journey of parenting—a high calling from God!

Together in Him,
Children’s Pastor

Video Script

The Importance of a Childhood Inventory

You know, it is really hard sometimes to understand where you are going unless you can think through where you have been. I know that was a deep statement, but you need to be able to unpack that as a parent. Because I promise you this, as you are going to help your child spiritually and lead them spiritually and just really, to just be honest, to lead through life itself, sometimes you are going to find difficulty in this whole parenting journey.

I want to give you some hope today that maybe, just maybe, underneath that difficulty it might be connecting back to your past. You see all of us have a past, and we were raised by somebody. I mean, unless you are like the dude in the Jungle Book and you were raised in the jungle, somebody raised you. It may have been a parent, it may have been a grandparent, a step-parent, an uncle, an aunt, an adopted parent, a foster parent, somebody was a parental figure in your life growing up. The fact is, the just pure truth is, they left a mark on your life.

Now that mark might be something that has propelled you into life successfully, or that mark might be a scar of a painful thing that they did to you. All of us have our own stories of how we were brought up, and the reality is, the truth for most of us, that we have good and bad from those experiences. That is what is important today.

I want to encourage you to do something that I am calling a childhood inventory. I want you to take a sheet of paper and just simply write at the top good and bad. Write a line down the middle, and just take maybe five minutes today, just as an easy little exercise, and think to yourself what are the things that I got growing up that are good. On the other side, I want you to write what are the things that I got growing up that were bad. Then when you fill that out and take the time to do it, you are going to begin to start to take that childhood inventory and you are going to see possibly why you are struggling in your own parenting journey. Because the reality is you can’t give what you weren’t given.

When you go to that bad column, these are deposits, withdrawals that the parental figure in your life made in your life. You need to find someone or someway and pray really to God and ask him please, God, these are voids in my life that I didn’t get growing up, and in order for me to give this to my child I need to go get help. I need a good book, or I need a good counselor, or I need something in my life, true scripture, a word from you, whatever it is, I need this to fill this hole in my life so that I am ready as a parent to give this to my kids.

One of my favorite stories about this is when I talked to a father about giving his son a blessing, a spiritual blessing. There is a lot of neat things to learn about spiritual blessings. But as I began to teach him what giving the blessing is, he began to be in tears and he said well, I can’t do that because I have never experienced it, and I don’t want to give a blessing to my son when I have never gotten a blessing myself. He threw his own little blessing party, and he asked people who were significant in his life to come and give him a spiritual blessing. Once that was done, he then went and blessed his son. I think that is so powerful because he understood an important concept.

This childhood inventory is going to help you discover the places where you need to go seek help and get encouragement so that you can then turn and give that encouragement to your child.

Texts/Tweets

TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell Twitter to store a list of your tweets on one place for later reference.

Tweet One: Affirm your kids opinions and feelings. #parentinggodsway

Tweet Two: Let God lead your parenting. #parentinggodsway

Tweet Three: Difficult pasts often impact the type of parent you are. Don’t be afraid to deal with them. #parentinggodsway

Tweet Four: Guard your words; they are powerful instruments. #parentinggodsway

Tweet Five: Love God, and love your kids. #parentinggodsway

Tweet Six: You won’t always agree with your kids; love them anyway. #parentinggodsway

Tweet Seven: Speak life into your kids! #parentinggodsway

Tweet Eight: Don’t be afraid of dealing with your past to parent better in the future. #parentinggodsway

Tweet Nine: If necessary, seek help from others to heal. #parentinggodsway

Tweet Ten: Don’t exasperate your children—build them up! #parentinggodsway

Testimony

4 Personal God Things to Share With Your Child

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Subject Line: 4 Personal God Things to Share With Your Child, Part One

Hello again!

This month’s video provides some great ideas for Personal God Things to Share With Your Child to encourage their spiritual growth.

Many parents communicate that they are at a loss when it comes to answering kids’ tough questions about God. For example, when someone close passes away—a friend or family member—parents scramble to teach their kids about life, death and heaven. More often than not, parents end up avoiding complicated matters altogether!

Instead of waiting until certain topics come up, make a list of subjects you want to talk about and begin addressing them one by one, casually, but through your eyes. How do you know God is real? Share that with your child! How have you experienced God’s love? Try to express this in a way they can understand; this means talking to your child about what you believe personally.

Annemarie Scobey produces a family spirituality newsletter where she describes how she and her husband share “the little miracles or Godincidences” as she calls them with their children. She has found her children are beginning to understand how God is involved in everything in life! She says doing this has taught her kids that a relationship with God is not about praying for miracles, but rather giving credit to God when you know He has been involved.

This week’s video offers four solid ideas for spiritual things you can talk about with your kids. When they hear about your experiences, they will be better prepared for understanding God’s involvement when they go through their own.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/175380701/fdec832fcb

Honored to walk alongside you,
Children’s Pastor

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Subject Line: 4 Personal God Things to Share With Your Child, Part 2

Welcome back!

Do your kids know how you feel about God? Do you talk about God in everyday conversation, or do you keep your relationship with God private?

Sharing your walk with the Lord with your kids may be one of the most important things you do as a parent. Deuteronomy 6:4–7 says, “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them [the commands of God] on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

This doesn’t mean a set time once a week where the family sits down at the table and discusses God things. Notice what God says through Moses—talk about them “when you sit” and “when you walk along the road” and “when you lie down and when you get up.”

Basically, talk about God-things all the time with your kids!

One great place to talk about God with your kids is in the car. They are captive audiences even if it’s a short three-minute drive to a sports practice. Don’t be hesitant to share how you saw God working in your life while they were at school—even if they have friends in the car!

Or, make use of drive time in the morning by asking your kids if they have a big test that day, or anything they are concerned about. Then pray out loud for them (eyes open, of course!) It may feel awkward at first, but your kids will store up those memories in their hearts, and it will likely be something they miss as teens.

Mark Holman writes “We were never called to be ‘one-hour-at-church-only Christians.’” He says if all we do is spend an hour with God at church each week, that doesn’t demonstrate a loving relationship but “it actually leads our children to think that Christianity is hypocritical because it’s something we only do at church and not at home.”

Raising kids who love God starts with you loving God. Children watch everything, and they absorb more than you might realize. When they see your relationship with God modeled in all aspects of your life and they know you love and follow Him, it impacts them.

Until we meet again in next month’s Online Parenting Class, don’t be afraid to talk about God in new places! I hope the video for this month has provided some ideas for sharing “God things” with your child. I’m committed to walking with you!

Children’s Pastor

Video Script

4 Personal “God Things” to Share with Your Child

You know, when you’re having spiritual conversations with your child, that can be a little bit awkward. It’s hard to get your child to talk about the things of God, so one of the ways to get the conversation rolling is for you to share some things about how you feel about God and more specifically, share some experiences that you’ve had as you’ve interacted with God. It might help and equip your child to begin to understand and think about their experiences with God. I’m going to give you four things that you can tell your child that is information that they really, really need as they grow spiritually.

Here’s the first thing. The first thing that you need to talk to your child about when it comes to things of God is I want you to tell them the first time that you really, really, really believed God was real. I know for me that was when I first pondered space and all of the vast space. We have telescopes. The smartest people in the universe have built the biggest telescopes they can and they still haven’t seen the limit to space. When I think about that vastness and how big that is for me, that helped me connect to the fact that there has to be a God who has created all this. What was it for you? When was that moment when you said, “You know what? God is real and I know it to be true.” That is a beautiful thing to share with your child because that’s right where they are. They’re trying to figure out for themselves is God real. For them to hear your story of that, it would be a huge help to them.

The second thing you could share with them is when did you decide to follow Jesus. That’s an important story. I remember, for my parents, I didn’t hear that story until later. My dad was a pastor, but I never thought to ask them, and I guess he never really thought to give me tons of details. It wasn’t until I was a little bit later in life that I actually heard the details of how he became a Christian. Sometimes we live so closely together we forget to tell the obvious things. You know what? It’s so crucial for you to tell your child how you started to follow Jesus. Tell the story of when did you make that decision. How did it happen? It will help your child so much to start to begin the process for themselves. Do I want to follow Jesus? If so, they’ll have an idea of how to do that by listening to your story.

The third thing that you can tell your child about God is how you made a mistake. Now you’re thinking, “Wait a second. I’ve been with you up to this point, but I don’t want to have to admit all my mistakes to your child.” By the way, you need to be careful. There are some mistakes you’ve made that are kind of rated R and not rated PG. You want to tell them about a mistake you’ve made because it’s really important for them to understand because they look up to you as a parent, obviously. They really need to understand that you’re not perfect. You know what that does for them? It takes away the pressure for them to be perfect. Give them a story of a PG mistake that you’ve made and how you had to learn and accept responsibility and then you had to get up and move on and just say, “You know what? I’m just going to move on from this and learn from my mistake.” Give them a story. Tell them something that you’ve done. That’s so important for them to understand.

Finally, tell them how you’ve made a difference. This isn’t a time for humility, okay? Take some time to say “Hey, you know what? I have made a difference. My life makes a difference. I have a voice, and I use my voice to fight for this cause or I care about people and I take my time to go help and serve these people.” At some level, hopefully you’re making a difference. Hopefully, Christ and your relationship with Christ has inspired you to make a difference. Share that with your child. Why? So they can begin to think about how they can make a difference. I promise you it will inspire them more than you might have imagined.

These four things are ways that you can share your story with your child. What it will begin to do is it will help them write their own story in their journey with God.

Texts/Tweets

TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell Twitter to store a list of your tweets on one place for later reference.

Tweet One: Share how you have experienced God’s love with your kids. #expressyourfaith

Tweet Two: Give credit to God in front of your kids! #expressyourfaith

Tweet Three: Kids watch your relationship with God closely. #expressyourfaith

Tweet Four: Talk about God all the time so it becomes natural family conversation. #expressyourfaith

Tweet Five: Make drive time God-discussion time. #expressyourfaith

Tweet Six: Demonstrate a loving relationship with God to your kids. #expressyourfaith

Tweet Seven: Raising kids who love God starts with you loving God. #expressyourfaith

Tweet Eight: Talk about God when you sit, when you walk and when you lie down. #expressyourfaith

Tweet Nine: Tell your kids how you know God is real! #expressyourfaith

Tweet Ten: God is involved in everything . . . do your kids know this? #expressyourfaith

Family Devotion

When Family Devotions Go Wrong

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Subject Line: When Family Devotions Go Wrong, Part One

Hi!

Family devotions is the issue we’ll be covering in this month’s Online Parenting Class. Family devotions don’t need to be a full-blown church service. They don’t even have to be very long—especially if you have young children. The goal and purpose of family devotions is to create an atmosphere in your home that says God is number one and that your family values the truth of the Word and wants to live in faith and obedience.

This video helps show you how you can use family devotion times to enhance your family’s relationship with God.

When deciding how to do family devotion time, don’t lose sight of the fact that the purpose is to grow and enhance everyone’s personal relationship with God. If you need suggestions on supplemental books other than the Bible, please don’t hesitate to ask me. I have lots of great resources I would be happy to share with you.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/149140804/e3056ffbbb

Devoted to God and to your family,
Children’s Pastor

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Subject Line: When Family Devotions Go Wrong, Part 2

Hello!

I hope you’ve been able to take a look at this month’s Online Parenting Class on Family Devotions, and I pray you were encouraged by it. Let’s continue our ‘discussion’ on the value of family devotions.

Let’s get to the meat of the matter by looking at some practical ways to implement family devotions into your family’s schedule.

1. Keeping it short and simple. Five to ten minutes is fine.

2. Use a variety of methods (reading from the Bible or a devotion book, acting out a Bible story, watching short videos)

3. Involve everyone. Take turns leading the devotion.

4. Vary the time of devotions—the dinner table, bedtime, road trips….

I’d also like to suggest a couple of ideas on how to make family devotion time special:

Idea #1: Taking turns, have family members place an item in the middle of the dinner table that represents a favorite Bible story. The other members of the family have to guess what story the object represents. Once the correct answer is given, the person who placed the object tells the Bible story and why it is one of their favorites.

Idea #2: Focus on the parables Jesus told. Do one per week. After reading it, discuss the parable then ask your children to write a similar parable using current events, places, and circumstances to send the same or similar message. Give them two or three days to do this, then use family devotion time to let them read their parables.

Joshua 1:8 says, “Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.”

As you do your part to make the Word alive and real to your children, I’ll be right there to help however I can.

In His service,
Children’s Pastor

Video Script

When Family Devotions Go Wrong

A great way to grow spiritually as a family is to do family devotions.

If you don’t know what a family devotion is, it’s pretty simple. You just gather your family together, teach them a Scripture, and pray together.

But unfortunately, actually doing a family devotion isn’t all that simple.

Let’s start with the scheduling of a family devotional. In today’s busy world it is so hard to find a regular time to do anything as a family. Sometimes, it’s like jumping hurdles just to get everyone in the family in the same room for a family devotion.

The hard part comes when you finally get everyone together, and you share with them what you thought was a pretty great family devotional, and they are falling asleep or even worse bouncing off the walls.

It can get pretty discouraging when you finally find the courage to lead your family spiritually, and they don’t act like they really care at all.

Here’s some encouragement for you in your efforts to lead your family spiritually through family devotions…

First, Don’t Force It. You don’t have to fit every spiritual lesson into one family devotional. This is a marathon, not a sprint. There isn’t some magical time limit that you must hit. If your family devotional is only five minutes, that’s great. The bigger questions to ask is this. Did my kids see me as a parent attempt to show them that our faith is important to us as a family? Did my kids hear me read Scripture? Did they see me pray? Did I show them with my actions that these things are valuable to me. That’s the big win. If someone asks your child a week from now what your devotional was about they probably won’t remember. But if someone asks your child years from now, is faith important to your family? they’ll remember the times you gathered together to read Scripture and pray, and say Yes it was! That’s the win that your looking for as you’re spiritually leading your family.

Second, Let the Kids be Involved in the Family Devotion. It’s tempting to put together a sermon or lecture like you might hear in church and share it with your family. But you might try another approach to get more interaction from your kids. Let them be involved. Let them act out the story. Ask them lots of questions. You might even ask them to lead the devotional themselves. If your kids are involved, you have a much better shot of them being more interested.

Third, Intimacy always follows awkwardness. If you think about it, just about every intimate moment is preceded by a bit of awkwardness. Intimacy isn’t meant to happen instantly. You have to push through a bit of awkwardness to get there. That’s very true when it comes to family devotionals. As you are trying to get together as a family and do something very intimate like studying Scripture and prayer, it almost certainly will include some awkwardness. My advice is to embrace the awkwardness knowing that if you stick with it, you’ll get to experience some amazing and intimate moments where your kids open up their hearts and ask the questions that they’ve really been wondering about. Or maybe your kids will share their fears or hurts with you because they’ve learned to trust this family devotional time as a safe place where they can share their heart.

I wish I could say those moments happen all the time, but they don’t. As soon as you experience one, though, you’ll discover that all the struggles you go through to do a family devotional together was totally worth it.

Texts/Tweets

TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell Twitter to store a list of your tweets on one place for later reference.

Tweet One: Your WORD is a lamp to my feet & a light to my path. #readtheBible

Tweet Two: You gotta read it to know it…the Bible #readtheBible

Tweet Three: The Bible = best bedtime stories ever! #readtheBible

Tweet Four: Family devotions keep families devoted to one another. #readtheBible

Tweet Five: Let’s read the Bible together. #readtheBible

Tweet Six: Families that read God’s Word together learn together. #readtheBible

Tweet Seven: Share God’s WORD with your kids. #readtheBible

Tweet Eight: It’s nice to share…especially God’s WORD. #readtheBible

Tweet Nine: Know the Bible…know God. #readtheBible

Tweet Ten: Family Bible time = family growth time. #readtheBible

Character

Teaching Your Kids About Mercy

Email 1

Copy/Paste the following email:

Subject Line: Mercy and Parenting, Part One

Dear Parents,

The Bible tells us that God desires mercy over sacrifice. In other words, he’d much rather we show mercy to one another than ask forgiveness (offer a sacrifice) for not doing so. You know what this means, don’t you? It means you need to teach your children this basic principle of extending God’s love to others.

Teaching mercy isn’t always easy because we don’t always know how to distinguish between mercy and turning a blind eye to what is happening around us. But thanks to the help of our parenting video (Insert link and other pertinent information), you will now be better able to distinguish between the two as Christ does. The result? A positive difference in your home.

Please take the time to watch the video and feel free to contact me with questions, comments, and suggestions you have. I am here to serve you & your family.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/149008879/b3dccf4b91

Thanking God for his mercy,
Children’s Pastor

Email 2

Copy/Paste the following email:

Subject Line: Mercy and Parenting, Part 2

Dear Parents,

Mercy—offering forgiveness or overlooking someone’s ill will or misdeed ‘just because’. For most people that’s not an easy concept to grasp much less live. But mercy is exactly what Jesus extended to each of us.

The parenting video that goes with this lesson is meant to help you understand what it means to extend mercy to your children; making your home a home where God reigns. Have you watched it yet?

Teaching mercy to your children is a great way to show “I love you just because”—just like Jesus did for us. But how?

1. One of the best ways to do this is to extend mercy to your child. Are they having a bad day? If so, say, “I can see you’re having a bad day, so how about I do some of your chores for you.” Or “You really hurt my feelings when you said that (or acted like that), but I want you to know I love you and that I’m not going to hold it against you.” Or “What’s done is done. Let’s just work together to get past it instead of bringing it up over and over again.”

2. Another way to teach your children about mercy is to give them opportunities to show mercy. While the people who receive the benefit of your services and gifts aren’t generally in need of your forgiveness (which is the most common definition of mercy), mercy is also defined as compassion. You can extend mercy/compassion as a family by donating clothing and food to people in need and by volunteering your hands-on service during times of natural disasters.

We are all in need of God’s mercy and thankfully he has showered us with it. Let’s be sure we do the same thing by honoring his Word as written in the following verses:

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. ~Matthew 5:7

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. ~Hebrews 4:16

Remember, I’m here to help.

In Christ,
Children’s Pastor

Video Script

Teaching Your Kids About Mercy

Do you remember that game we played as children called “Mercy”? It sounds like a really peaceful game, but it was actually pretty violent.

Two kids would clasp hands and then proceed to test their strength by trying to bend the other person’s wrist until they finally gave up and yelled, “MERCY!”

Unfortunately, for a lot of kids that’s about the extent of what they learn about the word, Mercy.

But, because your child lives in a faith-filled family they have the opportunity to learn so much more about what that word means.

Mercy, by definition, is to offer someone something that they don’t deserve. Just to be honest, Mercy doesn’t come very natural to us as humans. We tend to be pretty selfish by nature. It’s actually kind of hard for a lot of us to see someone get what they don’t deserve.

Micah 6:8 is a pretty great goal for the type of person you’d like your child to become. Just listen to this.

“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

So how do we help our kids to “love mercy”. Here are three ideas that might help…

First, Look for opportunities to show your child mercy. Actually, you don’t have to look that hard. Throughout the day there are plenty of opportunities to give your child something that they don’t deserve. Maybe instead of giving them a timeout during the day, you can say “Because of the choice you just made, you deserve a time out. But do you remember that word I taught you earlier today? The word was ‘mercy’ and it means that you get something that you don’t deserve. God shows mercy to us, and right now I want to show mercy to you. You don’t have a “time out” this time, but please make a better decision next time.”

Unfortunately, you can’t offer mercy every time. God himself, allows us to experience the consequences of our choices, but every once in a while it’s a great thing to let your child experience mercy in their every day life.

Second, Catch your kid offering mercy. Keep your eyes open for an opportunity to celebrate your child when they offer mercy to a sibling or a friend. If this ever happens, make it a big deal and celebrate your child. Say something like, “When you showed mercy to your friend, you reminded me of the way God shows mercy to us. I’m very proud of that!”

Third, Tell your story of how God showed you Mercy. The idea of God showing mercy is a hard concept for a child to understand. So tell your story of “God’s mercy” to your child whenever they will listen. Don’t just tell it once, tell it to them again and again. Make sure to say something like, “God choice to forgive me of my mistakes. He gave me His love when I didn’t deserve it. I’m so grateful for God’s mercy.” When your child hears your story of receiving God’s mercy on a regular basis, they’ll start to understand over time that God wants to offer them that very same Mercy. And that, is the greatest gift of all.

Texts/Tweets

TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell Twitter to store a list of your tweets on one place for later reference.

Tweet One: Everybody has a bad day now and then-even your kids. #gracefulparenting

Tweet Two: Nobody’s perfect…not even you. #gracefulparenting

Tweet Three: Give mercy to get mercy #gracefulparenting

Tweet Four: Give your kids a break and show a little mercy #gracefulparenting

Tweet Five: Aren’t you glad God isn’t as unforgiving as we are? #gracefulparentiing

Tweet Six: Second chances are important. #gracefulparenting

Tweet Seven: Lord, give me the mercy I need to deal with my child. #gracefulparenting

Tweet Eight: Kids deserve mercy, too. No, really, they do. #gracefulparenting

Tweet Nine: I’m not a perfect parent so I won’t have perfect kids. #gracefulparenting

Tweet Ten: I know I can…I know I can…show mercy to my kids. #gracefulparenting

Prayer

Scriptures You Can Pray for Your Kids

Email 1

Copy/Paste the following email:

Subject Line: Praying for Your Kids, Part One

Hello,

Parenting is hard work. No new news there, right? Thankfully you are not alone. You have the Creator who is eager to communicate with you through prayer (and other means) to guide your every step. Your day should be filled with prayers for and on behalf of your children. Focused prayers as well as brief sentences or whispered prayers throughout the day are equally valuable to your child’s spiritual safety and well-being. Trust God to answer your prayers for your children as wholly as he trusts you to care for his creation, aka, your kids.

Praying for your kids is the focus of the lesson. The video, available by clicking on the link (Insert link and other pertinent information), can help you learn to rely on the power and comfort of prayer for your family in ways you might not even realize is possible. Let this video and this lesson speak to you.

I count it a blessing to be a part of your children’s lives—and yours, too. I spend time each week praying for your family specifically, so please let me know what your needs and concerns are so that I, too, can lift these requests up to our Heavenly Father.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/149008880/c9dfe993db

Your partner in prayer,
Children’s Pastor

Email 2

Copy/Paste the following email:

Subject Line: Praying for your Kids, Part 2

Parents,

Lamentations 2:19 says, “Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin; pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord. Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children…. ”

Parents, I am pleading with you to lift your hands to the LORD for your children. Pray for every aspect of their lives. Pray for their health, their education, their friendships, their future spouse and children, their relationship with you, their friends, and of course, their spiritual well-being.

Prayer is real…relevant…powerful. The Online Parenting Class you were sent provides instruction and encouragement on how to step up your prayer life for your children and your family as a whole.

To help keep you get focused or organized, I want to suggest several ways in which you can and should be praying for your child.
1. Pray for their physical health
2. Pray for their safety in school
3. Pray for their education
4. Pray for their purity
5. Pray for their future spouse/kids
6. Pray for their desire to know and follow God fully
7. Pray for your relationship
8. Pray for their ability to choose good friends
9. Pray for their friends
10. Pray for them to have a Christ-like attitude
11. Pray they seek forgiveness
12. Pray for their safety away from home
13. Pray for their souls
14. Pray for their ability to choose a suitable career

Your prayers don’t need to be lengthy or formal. Jesus tells us straight up that God isn’t impressed by our babbling or ‘many words’ (Matthew 6:7). He just wants to hear what’s on our hearts.

Praying with and for you,
Children’s Pastor

Video Script

Scriptures You Can Pray for Your Kids

What an honor we have to pray for our children. It’s an even greater honor to use God’s word to pray over our children.

In this video I’m going to give you some great verses that you can pray over your children to get you started. So grab your pen and paper and write these down…

You can ask for God’s favor on your child by praying Numbers 6:24-26

“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace”

Ask God to use your child to spread His love by praying Matthew 5:16

“In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven”.

Ask God to protect your child from being timid and to give them courage by praying 2 Timothy 1:7:

“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline”.

Pray that God would keep your child from being anxious by praying Philippians 4:6:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God”.

Pray that your child’s thoughts would be pure by praying Philippians 4:8:

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

Pray that your child will grow in grace and the knowledge of Jesus by praying 2 Peter 3:18:

“But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen”.

“I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead” (Philippians 3:10-11).

Ask God to use your child to carry out his mission on the earth by praying Matthew 28:18-20:

“And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

These are just a few examples of how you can use God’s word as guide for how to pray for your child.

There really is nothing more powerful you can do for them.

Texts/Tweets

TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell Twitter to store a list of your tweets on one place for later reference.

Tweet One: LORD I lift my hands and heart in prayer for my kids. #prayforkids

Tweet Two: Help me be the parent my kids deserve. #prayforkids

Tweet Three: Let’s pray our kids to success in the LORD. #prayforkids

Tweet Four: LORD, keep my children safe from themselves. #prayforkids

Tweet Five: Praying scripture over my kids means I’m praying truth over them #prayforkids

Tweet Six: LORD protect my kids when I can’t. #prayforkids

Tweet Seven: I pray I’m a parent that pleases God. #prayforkids

Tweet Eight: LORD help my kids even when they don’t think they need it. #prayforkids

Tweet Nine: Keep our kids safe from evil. #prayforkids

Tweet Ten: LORD stay in touch with my kids bc they need you. #prayforkids

Friends

What If You Don’t Like Your Child’s Friend

Email 1

Copy/Paste the following email:

Subject Line: What If You Don’t Like Your Child’s Friend, Part One

Parents,
This time around we’re going to be talking about friends—specifically you child’s friends.
Friends are important to all of us, but to most children, friends are oxygen.
As a parent, it is your responsibility to make sure the ‘oxygen’ your child breathes in isn’t ‘polluted’.
In other words, you have a responsibility to teach your children how to choose their friends wisely (and not choose their friends for them). This video is a great source of information and instruction on the subject of you, your child, and their friends.
Jesus calls us to love everyone; being kind, compassionate, and polite. This is what you want for yourself and your children. It’s what I want for us all. Again, don’t hesitate to let me know how I can help you and how I can pray for your family.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/149008881/8cb49e32a3

Partnering With You,
Children’s Pastor

Email 2

Copy/Paste the following email:

Subject Line: How To Choose Good Friends …Part 2
Hi Parents,I pray you are having a great week and that you have taken the time to watch the parenting video for our current lesson on what to do if you don’t like your child’s friend.The Bible has lots to say about friends—how to choose friends, what a good friend is and isn’t and how to be the friend Jesus wants you to be. It would be impractical to list them all here, so I will suggest you read the 13th, 17th, and 18th chapters of Proverbs because they contain several verses on the subject. I’m also giving you the following verses to place in your head and in your heart.

Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other;as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. ~Colossians 3:13

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. ~Proverbs 27:17

Helping your child develop discernment when it comes to choosing their friends isn’t always easy or pleasant, but it is necessary for you to do and to do right. The question most parents have, however, is what is right?
The following suggestions aren’t of the “Thus sayeth the Lord” nature, but they have proven valuable over the years, so I encourage you to use them when faced with helping your child break away from an unhealthy relationship.

1.Don’t accuse the friend of being a bad influence. Instead, ask your child why their attitude has changed, why they no longer like something they used to, why they are being unkind to their siblings, or why their grades are falling.

2.Get to know your kids’ friends by inviting them into your home and by including them in activities outside your home. Not only does this allow you to assess the situation, it gives you the opportunity to be a loving, positive influence on another child.

3.Don’t forbid or cut off the friendship without your child’s input. Instead, limit the friendship to your home or your supervision. If your child protests, explain why you are doing this.

4.Give your children opportunities to meet new people and make new friends. This shouldn’t be forced (ex: You WILL play soccer). Let them choose an activity to become involved in. HINT: Don’t tell them why you want them to have a change of scenery.

5.Last but definitely not least…PRAY for your child and his/her friendships. God is the God of all things big and small…including friendships.

Your Faithful Friend,
Preschool Pastor

Video Script

Video Game Strategy

One of the most difficult times for us as a parent is when you identify that your child’s friends appear to be pulling them down a path that they do not need to be going. You see your child beginning to change before your very eyes, and when connecting the dots you begin to suspect it’s the influence of those friends who are hanging around. When wrestling what what to do, we’ve got to think through some things.

It’s likely that a head-on approach could push your child deeper into these friendships, or worse, could develop these deep seated resentment with you and they’re not going to listen to you. What is more important than you making them change their friendships is for you to give them the tools to identify the need for that change themselves, if those influences are helping or hurting. It may be beneficial to come alongside your child and starting the conversation about friends rather than trying to force them out the door immediately.

Most friendships are not developed overnight and they will not be over that quickly either. It’s possible that your child could be in a place that the choices with friends, that they’re really dangerous or have long-term negative consequences. This is where you’re going to have to use your judgement as the parent. There is this line in which you have to draw a boundary of safety and make some difficult decisions for your child that they are not wanting to make in regards to their friends for themselves.

If this is where you are, I recommend not attacking the friend or the friends in question when you’re having the conversation about what needs to change. Keep the discussion focused on the results in your child because of those friends so that it’s focused on your teenager and not the others. Instead of saying, “Your friend Johnny is a loser and going nowhere,” consider saying, “Hey, the change in your grades and the way that we communicate is concerning to me so we’re going to have to make a change in your free time options.”

What this does is it keeps the focus on them and on you rather than inviting that friend into the discussion that you’re trying to get out. It’s important to consider the possibility that it might not be the friends that’s the source of this negative change. There are times when your child could be the one that’s actually instigating the source of change of the whole group of people and being that person of influence. It’s really painful to consider, and that’s the last thing that we want to see, but we must consider the possibility.

That allows us to walk into the situation with our eyes open so we can make the best decision moving forward. If you can remember to walk forward seeking a solution rather than looking for someone to blame, you’re going to be heading in the right direction.

TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell Twitter to store a list of your tweets on one place for later reference.

Tweet One: Good friends make life better…not worse. #bffs #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Two: Your kids’ friends are your business. #bffs #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Three: Get to know your child’s friends #bffs #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Four: Good parenting involves teaching the art of friendship #bffs #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Five: You can be friendly without being friends #bffs #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Six: The best kind of person is the person who is kind #bffs #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Seven: A best friend wants the best for you #bffs #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Eight: A friend doesn’t ask you to do something you aren’t comfortable with. #bffs #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Nine: A bad friend isn’ t a friend at all #bffs #urchurchparentministry

Video Games

Establishing Healthy Gaming Boundaries

Email 1

Copy/Paste the following email:

Subject Line: Video Game Strategy, Part One

Parents,
Video games and social media are mainstays in the lives of nearly every child in the country. We can’ t really escape it. There’ s actually no need to run from these things as long as they are handled wisely and appropriately. This video provides excellent information and guidelines for Biblical parenting in today’ s tech-savvy society. Please watch the video and make every possible effort to implement what you learn into your home’s video-game policies.

I also want to remind you that I am always willing to discuss any questions or thoughts you would like to share on this or any other lesson.

I have a deep personal interest in your family and I want the best God has in store for you. Parenting isn’ t easy, but working together we can show your children the marvelous God we serve and that a life with him is more exciting than any game they will ever play.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/148892225/34179ac731

Partnering With You,
Children’s Pastor

Email 2

Copy/Paste the following email:

Subject Line: Video Game Strategy…Part 2
Parents,Let’s continue our goal to reign in the video game craze among our young people. I hope you’ve been able to watch this month’s Online Parenting Class on the topic of having healthy boundaries with video games.

I know most of you have heard the question “What’s so wrong with video games?” The answer to that question cannot be answered with a simple sentence or two. In fact, there are positive aspects to SOME video games (educational, visual stimulation, eye/hand coordination) in SMALL doses.
So…when setting boundaries and establishing a video game strategy in your home, remember to be Firm, Fair, and Consistent.

#1 FIRM: Set limits on the amount of time a child is allowed to game. Be resolute on what types of games are allowed to be played in and out of your home. Insist on placing parental guides on all gaming devices—including where games are allowed to be played.

#2 FAIR: Don’t ban a game based on hearsay. Review it yourself before saying yes or no. Make the rules age-appropriate (what’s fair for a 9 year old isn’ t the same for a 17 year-old).

#3 CONSISTENT: If you use gaming as a privilege to be earned, don’t go soft and let it slide. Don’t allow extra time when friends are over unless your child knows it is a privilege to be respected. Don’t relax the rules on what kinds of games are allowed. Have pre-set and pre-described disciplinary measures in place if/when your child breaks the rules.

God’s Word reminds us to ‘test’ what we do to make sure it is beneficial to our spiritual well-being.

The following verses will help you do just that:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ~Philippians 4:8

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. ~Romans 12:1-2

Partnering with you,
Preschool Pastor

Video Script

Video Game Strategy

The greatest key to addressing the video game world of your child is consistency. Now, to have this, our children need to know from us our expectations for them and that we genuinely believe that those expectations are important. Here’s a process to consider and how to navigate the world of video games with your child. First, develop a plan. There must be a plan about when you are going to let your children play video games, how long you’re going to let them play video games and what games you’re actually going to let them play. Have the discussion with them about this, ask them first about what they think in regards to those areas. Their responses will let you know what they are thinking, to what is healthy and what is not in the world of video games.

Then, help guide them to understanding what is best for them and what is not over time, they will not get there all at once. Using their responses as much as possible when creating this plan is so valuable. You are able to move this video game plan from something that you have done as the parent towards something that you both have done as a family, giving them a part ownership in the decision making is well worth the effort it takes to make it happen. Now that you have a plan, discuss this plan with them at length. Let them know the ins and outs of what your expectations are and share with them what it looks like exactly and how you want them to respond, then, ask them to describe this plan back to you. Requiring this step will let you know exactly what they have heard and the most important part of a conversation is identifying what was heard rather than what was said and if your child can articulate to you the plan that was discussed, then you can confidently know that there was an understanding of expectations from the beginning.

The next piece is the most difficult part of the process, you have to follow through. If you’re not consistent, then your plan will never achieve the goals that you hoped would be achieved. If you have determined that a certain amount of time that your child can play video games, then you need to monitor that time and respond as you said you would when that time limit is reached. If your child’s video games were taken away for a week because of a choice that was made, then you need to follow through and keep the video game for a week rather than giving in to the pressure and returning the games after two days. What I have found as a parent is that my inconsistencies are a major factor in my child’s success, so we’ve go to be consistent and follow through.

If this is something that you struggle with, find a friend that will encourage you to be consistent. Sometimes having a few reminders and words of encouragement from someone else is all we need to stay on track on being consistent, it’s just not easy. The final piece is to begin considering at what point you’re going to start handing over the control of these decisions to your child. There’s going to be a day that you’re not going to be there to make sure that they’re not spending too much time playing video games or you’re not going to be there at the store the next time they buy one, so consider what the process of letting control in this area go looks like and start that process as they are demonstrating that they are worthy of that trust from you.

TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell Twitter to store a list of your tweets on one place for later reference.

Tweet One: Life is not a game #lifeisnotagame #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Two: Video games in small doses = good parenting #lifeisnotagame #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Three: Violent games = violent thoughts and actions #lifeisnotagame #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Four:Social skills are more important than gaming skills #lifeisnotagame #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Five: Proactive parenting keeps kids safe #lifeisnotagame #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Six: Violence is not a game—not even on a computer screen #lifeisnotagame #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Seven: Play Monopoly, not war games #lifeisnotagame #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Eight: The computer is on…do you know what your kids are doing? #lifeisnotagame #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Nine: For healthy gaming boundaries – be firm, fair & consistent #lifeisnotagame #urchurchparentministry

Character

Helping Your Child Know When Or If To Quit

Email 1

Copy/Paste the following email:

Subject Line: I wanna Quit, Part One

Parents,
Don’t worry—this isn’t about wanting to quit being a parent. This lesson is one all parents deal with at one time or another—the issue of whether or not you should let your child quit something they are involved in.

Does letting them quit make them a failure? Are they running from responsibility? Does making them persevere make you a bad parent or is it damaging to your child’s self-confidence if they’re doing something they aren’t good at?
Follow the link to the video that will offer sound and Biblical advice for parenting your children though these situations.

Notice I said ‘these situations’ because there will be more than one. But don’t worry because I’m here to help you if you need it.

I hope this lesson will be helpful and that you will be able to take something from it that will help both you and your child feel better equipped to know when to stay and when to go.

I also want you to know how much I care about you and your family and that I am here for you.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/148892224/e50f4923a5

Partnering With You,
Children’s Pastor

Email 2

Copy/Paste the following email:

Subject Line: To quit or not to quit…that is the question…Part 2
Parents,I hope you’ve had a chance to watch the video dealing with the subject of whether or not you should allow your child to quit an activity or walk away from a project. If not, please go back and take the time to do so soon.
We’ve all experienced times when we wanted to throw in the towel and quit something. If you don’t agree, take a minute to think about all the unfinished projects in your closet or your workshop.

Getting involved in a sport, club, or project only to discover you don’t like it or aren’t any good at it happens. The question we have to ask ourselves is when is it okay to let your kids give up and quit when this happens to them. Even Jesus walked away from situations when he knew his presence would cause more harm than good. He also instructed his disciples to leave and shake the dust off their feet in places they were not welcome. So keeping that in mind, let’s take a look at a couple of scriptures to help you help your child.

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. ~2nd Timothy 4:7
We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. ~2nd Corinthians 4:8-10

The first step in helping your kids decide when it’s okay to quit is to discuss the answer to the following question with them: How will quitting affect my life? The answer to this question will usually provide the answer to the question of “to quit…or not to quit”.
The following questions should also be asked and discussed by you and your child when making this decision.

QUESTIONS:
How will my quitting impact other people?
What will I miss out on if I quit?
Will I have the chance to try again if I choose to in the future?
Is there something I could do to change the situation without quitting?
Would this change make the situation better?
Not only will these questions help your child make good decisions, but they provide a great way to open the door to meaningful conversation between the two of you.

Partnering with you,
Preschool Pastor

Video Script

When is it OK to quit?

Did you parents ever tell you that you must finished what you started and not let you quit something that was making you absolutely miserable? That’s a great piece of advice in most situations, but what are those situations where that is not good advice? Is there ever a time that it’s okay to quit? The answer is simple. It depends.

When weighing the options of what to do next when the way gets difficult, remember, put your child in the decision-making driver’s seat with you as the co-pilot. Remember, it’s not how well you as a parent can navigate the decision-making for your child that really matters. It’s how well they can do it, especially when you’re not around.

As the parent, I want my child to have as many opportunities to wrestle with these types of questions why I’m nearby so that I can help them and coach them along in how to make the right decision. Most of the time, pressing forward to stick with a commitment is the right thing to do. With each new generation, we’ve become more accustomed to quick fixes and instant answers. Having to push through and honor commitments to events, jobs, sports, teams, projects, and clubs can be painful, but the result is the opportunity to reinforce the ideal of stick–to–itiveness that can only be developed by having to persist.

If your child is in the midst of a difficulty, talk through with some questions with him or her before arriving at an answer. Have them ask, “What will I miss if I quit?” “In what ways will other people be impacted if I quit?” “Will there ever be a time that I would want to try this again?” “What is a change that maybe I can make that would fix this problem that I’m having?” In not every situation, sticking with a commitment is the best option.

Knowing when to quit is also a necessary skill that rarely gets discussed. There are time when the best thing to do is just to cut your losses and walk away. To identify if it is best to quit, the questions that we talked about earlier are a really great place to start, but there may also be times that you need to step in, throw in the towel, and regardless of what your child is saying, do what needs to be done. Here are some questions that you ask before you allow your child to choose to quit something. “Is this activity causing me or others greater harm than good?” “Is it causing distress in other areas of my teen’s life?” “Are there any possible long term effects of continuing this activity?”

The answer to these questions could provide overwhelming evidence for the need to quit. Even more important is asking the question, “What is something that I can do to identify next time so that I will know how to avoid situations like this?” Remember, it’s to quit or not to quit, it depends, but the most important thing is that your teen chooses and can learn from this.

TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell Twitter to store a list of your tweets on one place for later reference.

Tweet One: Misery isn’t perseverance—it’s a waste of time #quittingcanbepositive #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Two: Focus on your strong points so they’ll become even stronger. #quittingcanbepositive #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Three: What is to be gained by quitting? #quittingcanbepositive #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Four: Will quitting make your life better at the expense of someone else? #quittingcanbepositive #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Five: Life is too short to waste any time #quittingcanbepositive #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Six: Smart choices lead to positive outcomes. #quittingcanbepositive #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Seven: To quit or not to quit…that is the question #quittingcanbepositive #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Eight: Always quitting is as dangerous as never quitting #quittingcanbepositive #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Nine: Finish what you start when finishing is seen as accomplishment #quittingcanbepositive #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Ten:Don’t quit on life or it will quit on you. #quittingcanbepositive #urchurchparentministry

Puberty

Preparing For Puberty

Email 1

Copy/Paste the following email:

Subject Line: Preparing For Puberty, Part One

Hello,

It’s time to introduce another valuable parenting skill for the purpose of equipping you to be the parent God intends you to be.

The topic: Puberty I can almost hear the groans coming through the computer on this one, but it doesn’t have to be that way. This week’s OPC takes you to the parenting video on this subject. After watching the video you should have a healthy attitude toward developing and keeping an open dialogue with your children on the subject of puberty. My door is always open for anything you may need…whether it be prayer or sharing questions and concerns.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/148892226/540632c1b5

Partnering With You,
Preschool Pastor

Email 2

Copy/Paste the following email: Preparing For Puberty, Part Two

Parents,

There will come a time in your role as a parent for you to discuss the changes going on in your child’s body. That’s where our video this month comes in.

I hope you had a chance to watch our Online Parenting Class, Preparing for Puberty. If you were able to watch, I hope you received the encouragement you need to be honest and open with your children about puberty.

I’ll say it again: when talking to your child about puberty, it is important to approach the subject honestly, openly, and age-appropriately. They aren’t looking for a biology lesson, just give them what they need to know to answer their questions. The most important thing is to keep the lines of communication open on this topic.

With all of the outside influences on children these days, it’s important to be proactive and make sure that the information they receive is accurate. Honesty…openness…and the truth of God’s Word. These are the instructions you need to be giving your children.

Partnering with you,
Preschool Pastor

Video Script

You may be a long time away from talking to your child about puberty, so this video is one that you can store away for the future. But some of you have older children, and the time is coming soon where you’ll need to talk to your child about the changes they will face during puberty.

What age is the right age to talk about puberty with your child? Isn’t that the $64,000 question that you really wish you didn’t have to answer? Or maybe you’re a parent who has no problem talking about bodily functions with your child. Whichever type of parenting style you relate to best, there is one rule of thumb which will help guide you with this subject. It’s not necessarily about whether or not you are ready to have this conversation, but more importantly, it’s about whether or not your child’s ready to have this discussion and for a lot of parents your child’s going to be ready for this sooner than you are.

Basically, there are two questions that you can ask yourself to know whether or not now is the time to broach this wonderful and enlightening subject of puberty with your child. First one is, “Is my child ready for this discussion and because of outside influences or circumstances do I have to have this discussion?” We all know children mature at different ages. Your child may start their puberty at twelve years old when your friend’s ten year old has already begun. Because all kids are different, parents need to be tuned in to their child in order to accurately determine the beginning of this stage. The last thing you want is for your child to be in fear of the unknown because of lack of knowledge or misinformation. You are their best source of instruction. Who better than someone who’s been through it already and loves them? We as parents often feel inadequate when it comes to these matters, but please let me encourage you by telling you that your teenager is not looking for scientific data. They just need to know specifics from the person they trust the most, you.

I realize our children think they know all they need to know because their best friend told them all about it, and that is when you need to jump in with true knowledge and wisdom. That is one of those circumstances when the decision, it’s been taken out of your hands and this has become a have to situation. Just be honest and forthright. At this point, your child does not have to know every single thing there is about puberty. Find out what they know, correct the misinformation, and give them practical advice that they will need in the near future. Remember, it’s taken this many years for your child to hit the age of puberty. It doesn’t take just one conversation to give them all the information they will need for the rest of this stage of their life.

I like to think of this time as kind of like a road trip. Conversations will need to take place at different points along the way and the only way to know when that point arrives is by paying close attention to the signs. The important thing is, remember, you’re on this trip together.

TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell Twitter to store a list of your tweets on one place for later reference.

Tweet One: How will you approach talking to your child about puberty? #pubertyisafactoflife #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Two: Let the puberty talks begin at home #pubertyisafactoflife #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Three: If you don’t tell your child about puberty, someone else will #pubertyisafactoflife #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Four: Talk to your kids about puberty before someone else does. #pubertyisafactoflife #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Five: Don’t let the internet teach your kids about puberty. #pubertyisafactoflife #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Six: The puberty talk is part of parenting responsibly. #pubertyisafactoflife #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Seven: Discussing puberty is the parent’s job—biology is the school’s. #pubertyisafactoflife #urchurchparentministry

Tweet Eight: Honesty, openness & God’s truth…keys to an open relationship with your child #pubertyisafactoflife#urchurchparentministry