Author Archives: Jeremy Lee

Evil

Helping Kids Process Evil

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Subject line: Teaching children about evil in our world

Parents,

Do you remember the first time you realized that there were REAL bad people in the world and not just in books or movies? That realization probably came during your elementary school years. It is during this stage that children begin to understand that bad things happen in our world. When our children are faced with this reality, it begs us, the parent, to ask, how do I talk to my child about evil; that evil is real, that it exits?

We want to help you navigate how to talk candidly with your child about evil, while at the same time protecting them from the fear and anxiety that can develop when people think about evil in our world. Check out this month’s video on How to Teach Our Children About Evil in the World.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/115113145/ab72f63a63

Later in the month I’ll be in touch with some practical steps for talking with your children about evil in the world.

Partnering with you,
Children’s Pastor

Email 2

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Subject line: Teaching about evil in our world Part 2Parents,

When our children were little they worried about monsters under their bed. Through their elementary years their worries will reflect the real world. They’ll begin to worry about terrorism, floods, kidnapping, etc. All of these new worries come about because evil exists in our world. But, how in the world do we talk with our children about evil?

The bottom line is we need to talk with our children about evil, so they will KNOW about it. We don’t want our children to EXPERIENCE it. To talk about evil with our children means we talk with them about the fact that we have an enemy, and his name is Satan. In Matthew 4 we see Jesus knew His enemy and when it came to combating evil, Jesus spoke words of TRUTH.

When we talk with our children about evil in the world we need to speak TRUTH, not our opinion, but the TRUTH of God’s word. I’m reminded of John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly”. Our children can know there is an enemy who means harm, but we’re promised that Jesus has something totally different in mind.

This promise from Jesus is for eternity, which is why in our temporal world evil exists and will continue to exist. Our children can conquer evil by doing good. Jesus is the solution to evil, and He allows us to be part of the solution as well as we help our children to conquer evil by doing good (Romans 12:21).

Partnering with you,
Children’s Pastor

Video Script

In this online parenting class we want to help you as a parent now how to help your child deal with evil in world. Think about the first time you faced evil. For many of you 9-11 was a moment where you watched evil play out before your eyes. Every year at some point your kids hear about 9-11 as we remember and once again you are pushed to relive the memories. On a daily basis our kids hear about evil in the world through conversations at school or through watching the news or by reading a news article on our iPad. How do we have conversations about evil with our kids?

By 8 years old, children know the difference between fantasy and reality, so they are more likely to be frightened by televised new coverage of events such as kidnappings, murders, and terrorism. Kids figure out quickly that bad things happen and evil is real. As parents we struggle to know how to respond to our kids when they learn that reality. What I have learned as a parent is that I can’t explain everything to my 3rd grader but I can be a voice of clarity to her when it comes to evil in the world. As parents we shape the response of our children toward evil and this month we are going to give you some simple tips when it comes to talking with your child about the issue.

Here is the tension…although it’s important to protect our children’s innocence and give them only information their developing minds can handle, we’re reminded nearly every day that this planet can be a horrible place. How we as parents respond to evil shapes how our kids respond. God responded and is still responding to evil through Jesus. God is not passive when it comes to evil. God is not surprised by evil. The Bible says that God is confronting evil through people who follow Him and through the power of Jesus. Listen to what the Bible says about evil in one simple verse…

Romans 12:21 (NLT) 21 Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.

We help our kids understand evil so that they will not be overcome by it. We step into the conversations about evil with our kids so they will have confidence to conquer it through good. They can stand against it and we will stand with them. Kids need to know that no matter what happens in the world we will walk with them. Kids gain their confidence through us so be willing to help the discover it through your presence.

Here are a few tips to help you begin to deal with this issue in your home…

When you talk about evil make sure kids know good wins because God will make things right. //

We know there is evil in the world but our kids need to know that God is pushing back evil through the good we choose every day. Good wins because God wins. Evil flows from people choosing to evils actions. We push against evil with the good that we choose. Your confidence in God helps your child have confidence in God.

Let your kids ask you questions. //

silence is a bad choice for parents to choose when it comes to evil. When your child faces evil they need you to help them process not shut down. They need to know they can come to you when they don’t understand and when you allow that to happen as kids you set yourself up for more conversations as they grow up. Kids need a safe place to process the reality of evil.

Limit social media and TV access for kids. //

Your child need to hear you explain horrible situations and not their friends on social media or on the anchor on the news. To have a shot at being able to help your kids face evil and protect them from evil then guard them from overexposure to news and social media. Honestly your child does not need to be on any social media platform until they are 12 or older.

We know this is a heavy issue and a real issue every parent faces. Be looking for part 2 of this online parenting class coming from your children’s ministry in the coming weeks! Praying that God will give you wisdom as you help your child deal with the issue of evil.

Weekly tweets from you to parents:

TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell twitter to store a list of your tweets in one place for later reference.

TWEET #1-By age 8 children can distinguish reality and fantasy, so become frightened by the realities they see in the news. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #2-Edmund Burke “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothng.#urchurchparentministry
TWEET #3-Parents can’t explain everything when it comes to evil but they can be a voice of clarity. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #4-Don’t give too much info when talking about evil. Clarify 1st what your child wants to know. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #5- Romans 12:21-Evil is conquered by doing good, so DO GOOD. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #6-The clearest point when teaching children about evil, in the end, GOD wins over evil! #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #7-Your confidence in God will guide your children to develop confidence in God. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #8-Not talking about evil in our world only adds to a child’s anxiety. SPEAK TRUTH to them. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #9-Protect your children from evil by limiting exposure to news and social media. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #10-Evil exists because of an initial choice by Adam and Eve to choose their desires over God’s. #urchurchparentministry

Advent Family ebook

What is It?

This resource is an amazing resource that you can pass along to your families where they can have a shared experience each day with their children to celebrate the birth of Jesus. This resources has been beautifully designed and written for families to enjoy making memories together and having a fun experience doing so. Your parents are going to love doing these activities with their kids.

How do I use it?
This is an ebook that you need to get in the hands of all of your parents. Give it away as a gift to all of your families as a way for them to celebrate Christmas as a family. You can load it to your website and have them download it. Email it to them as an attachment. Or, you can even spend a few bucks and print it out for them and give them a nice hard copy.

However you do it, your parents are going to love you for providing this for them.

I hope they enjoy!

Download Now

52 Family Dinner Discussions

What is It?
This is a fun way to get kids and parents talking. Sometimes as parents, finding ways to relate to your teen becomes increasingly more challenging. This will give parents a fun way to get their teens talking. This will help parents continue to gain an understanding of their ever-evolving teen.

How do I use it?
This is a pdf handout that you can send out to your parents in an email as a gift to them. Or you can print them off and make them available at your church for them to pick up.

You can give it to your parents and then challenge them to have at least one quality dinner at home connecting with their kids each week.

I hope this is a blessing to you and your parents!

Download Now

An Allowance Story

What is It?
An allowance is something that every family wrestles with. Whether or not to give one. How to give it and how much to give. This resources is not a “How-To” so much as it is a story of how one family chose to do it. Parents can learn from this family’s example to help stir some ideas of how they would like to handle allowance in their own family.

How do I use it?
This is a pdf handout that you can send out to your parents in an email as a gift to them. Or you can print them off and make them available at your church for them to pick up. Use it as an example when giving your parents help in teaching their children how to manage money.

I hope this is a blessing to you and your parents!

Download Now

A Parent’s Guide To Minecraft

What is It?
Many of the kids in your ministry are playing Minecraft and so many of your parents are wondering what this game is. “A Parent’s Guide to Minecraft” will give your parents an understanding of the game and how they can relate to their kids. It is a must read for every parent who has a child playing Minecraft.

How do I use it?
Download this resource and put it in the hands of all of the parents in your ministry. Email it to them. Put it on your website for them to download. Print it off and give it to them as a giveaway at your next Parent event.

It is yours to use to bless the parents in your ministry. Enjoy!

Download Now

Relationship

Encouragement vs. Perfectionism

Month 13 Overview-How do we move from being parents who encourage perfectionism to parents who perfect encouragement?

Email 1

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Subject line: Encouraging Perfectionism or Perfecting EncouragementParents,

Are you a perfectionist? Do you have a child who is a perfectionist? Being a perfectionist is ROUGH (I speak from experience) because NO ONE is perfect. It’s exhausting, and to a child who finds personal value from doing something well, it can be a train wreck of emotion.

Sometimes our children are perfectionists because they get it from us. Sometimes we’ve created it in them because we’ve only praised them when they’ve done something well. How often do you hear a parent say something like, “You’re just not great at basketball, I don’t think it’s your thing.”? We tend to tell our children only what they are good at, and often don’t help them understand their weaknesses.

This month we want to help you navigate what it looks like to help your child learn from failure and understand that perfectionism isn’t the goal, excellence is.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/111735823/34ddcb48c1

Partnering with you,
Children’s Pastor

Email 2

Copy/Paste the following email:

Subject line: Part 2 of Perfectionism vs. EncouragementParents,

Have you ever seen your child become anxious or angry when they make a mistake? Does your little one give up easily? Is he overly cautious about tasks? Does she meltdown when things don’t go as planned? If you answered yes to these questions you probably have a perfectionist on your hands.

If you’ve seen the anxiety that’s created inside the mind of your little perfectionist, I’m guessing you want to know HOW to help them move past perfectionism in order to rationally deal with failure.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says…
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Perspective on weaknesses goes a long way. God’s power is only made perfect in weakness. So we’re to boast in our weakness. That kind of flies in the face of our Western culture. However, His strength is what guides us. Here are some practical tools for helping your little perfectionist move toward becoming one who strives for excellence instead:

Don’t praise kids for achievements that come easily
Nix the comparison game
Talk openly about differences, strengths and weaknesses. We all have them. God created us uniquely with different strengths and weaknesses.
Be SPECIFIC with your praise. No more “You’re such a good girl.” Instead, “Thanks for taking the initiative to keep your room clean. You’re showing such responsibility.”

Partnering with you,
Children’s Pastor

Video Script

I am not a perfectionist but I am the parent of a perfectionist. I am betting many of you right now can think which of your children leans toward perfectionism. This month we want to help you as a parent learn how to practice the art of encouragement so you child will chase after excellence and not perfection.

Many of our kids struggle with perfectionism because from the outside every other life looks perfect because we are all good at hiding our struggle. Kids have picked up on this. We award kids who excel so many of our children compare themselves to a perfect standard that is in reality does not exist. Perfection is a myth when you are dealing with people but we all chase after it. Think about for just a minute how many times you heard teachers or coaches or even parents as that “failure is not an option?” That idea is insane because we all know it’s a real option and it’s actually the only way we learn.

I have already told you my daughter is a perfectionist and I am not. In 5th grade she made it to the finals of her school spelling bee and she had a real shot to win. She practiced and prepared for a week for the bee and during the contest she advanced to the final few kids. Then the unthinkable happened. My daughter spelled the work right but she made a mistake on the rules of delivery…she got the sequence out of order but she spelled the word correctly. The judges convened and they said she was disqualified because she made the mistake. After the competition I race to get to her before anyone else did because she was so mad. I pulled her close, I hugged her while she cried, and then I whispered in her ear to just accept her mistake and hold her head up. She won to me. She was the only kid out that did not misspell a word!

Encouragement that lead kids to excellence is the kind that embraces failure as a learning tool and a motivation. That’s the kind of encouragement we want to give our kids. Our kids need to know we don’t demand perfection from them in order for us to be for them! Think about what the Bible says in the book of proverbs…
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT)
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.
6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

That does not sound like God expects us to be perfect. God knows we won’t be perfect so he calls us to trust in him and rely on Him to show us the way. Kids need to hear that same message from us. They need to hear us consistently push them to give it their all and know we will walk with them no matter what.

This month we want you to focus leading your child to excellence over perfectionism.
Here is were you can start this month…

Praise character not just behavior. (Behaviors change over time but character lasts!)

Be specific with your praise. (Really be clear with what you are praising them for!)

Remember that it’s ok to push your kids to work hard but never make your love for them conditional by demanding perfection. Encouragement is about helping your child embrace the joy of doing their best every day!

Start with these 2 strategies for encouragement this week. Take time this month to evaluate if you have been pushing your child toward perfectionism. If you have, use this month to change that habit. Later in the month you will get an email from your children’s ministry that will continue this online class! We are praying this month helps you build a bridge to the heart of your child.

Weekly tweets from you to parents:

TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell twitter to store a list of your tweets in one place for later reference.

TWEET #1- Take the necessary steps to help your child move toward excellence not perfection. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #2- Ecnouragement is about helping your child embrace the joy of doing his best every day. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #3- Failure actually is an option, and is, sometimes, the best way we learn. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #4-Fight perfectionism in your child by praising character not behavior. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #5-Anne Lamott: Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #6-Everyone else seems to have it together when we compare our behind the scenes to their highlight reel. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #7-Strulgge with perfectionism yourself? Check out Brene Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #8—God has uniquely made each of us with individual strengths and weaknesses. Help your child sees hers realistically. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #9-Encouragememnt that leads kids to excellence will embrace failure as a learning tool and motiviation. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #10- Brene Brown; Where perfectionism exists, shame is always lurking. #urchurchparentministry

Busy and Blessed by Chuck Thompson

https://kidsarchive.ministrytoparents.com/files/annual/snapshots/Snapshots_Busy-and-Blessed.pdf

Month 8

The True Meaning of Christmas

Email 1

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Subject Line: What Christmas is All About – Part one

Parents:
Hopefully by now you are all getting in the Christmas spirit. We have finished with all of our Thanksgiving traditions and now it is time to prepare for the most wonderful time of the year! Sometimes even though we try our hardest to be present and remember the true reason for the season, it can be easy for our children to get caught up in the materialistic aspects of the holiday.

How can you help your child understand that Jesus should be our focus at Christmas? How do we teach them the joy in giving and not turn into miniature Scrooges? This month, we want to help you in teaching your children to truly enjoy and celebrate Christmas and the gift of Jesus.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/112240863/b6a5ef90b9

Partnering with you,
Preschool Pastor

Email 2

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Subject: What Christmas is All About – Part Two

Parents,
Do you feel like your children have lost the true meaning of Christmas? Are they more focused on what Santa is going to bring them and fail to celebrate the birth of Jesus? Our children are surrounded by advertisements and seeing the latest toy or gadget. Combine that with what friends are getting and toy catalogs coming in droves in the mail and you get a bad case of the gimmies!

1 Timothy 6:10 says, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.” We must teach our children the joy of giving rather than receiving. What better time to do this than at Christmas when we received the greatest gift of all. We have put together some tips and suggestions to help you with this large task.

First, as parents, we must take a look at ourselves and ask “what are my actions showing my children?”. Are you consumed with the latest gadget and accumulating more stuff? If so, you are teaching your child what to place their focus on too. Practice what you preach. Perhaps it is time to rein in on how much you are spending on your children this Christmas and not overspend. Surveys have shown that Americans plan (on average) to spend nearly $300 per child this year! Is it any wonder that our children can become materialistic this time of year? Help your child to understand the concept of money and how much things cost. If they receive an allowance, help them to prioritize their own money. Set a limit for what they can spend and what must be saved or given.

Many children have no idea how fortunate they are because luckily, they have never known hunger or not receiving gifts at Christmas. We must teach them the difference between a need and a want. Involve them in giving to someone less fortunate. Let them help to choose toys they no longer play with and donate them. Participate in mission projects with your children and talk about why you are giving back. Sponsor a child in a poverty nation or adopt an angel off an angel tree. Children often have empathy for other children. When they see others who are less fortunate firsthand, they may learn to appreciate what they have at home. Hebrews 13:16 says, “Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.”

Take the time to foster positive memories this Christmas that don’t involve consumer products. Bake Christmas cookies together, drive/walk around your neighborhood and look at lights and decorations, or watch Christmas movies as a family. Do not reward them with money or treats all the time, but with praise and the gift of your time. Doing these things will create memories that they will remember long after that toy is long gone and help set characteristics in them to carry into adulthood.

Partnering with you,
Preschool Pastor

Video Script

Can you believe it is nearly Christmastime? It seems like we just celebrated last year! I don’t know about you, but Christmas is my absolute favorite time of the year. My family loves every part of celebrating the holiday: decorating, the music, the food, sharing gifts and time with family, but most importantly: celebrating the birth of Jesus. However, these days it seems like commercialism takes over in society and Christmas becomes more about receiving than giving. If you were to ask your children what Christmas is all about, what would they say? I’ll be the first to admit that my children can be caught up in what Santa is going to bring to them and forget what is truly meaningful. So how do you reinforce and teach your children what is really important? This month we are
going to talk about how to turn down the materialism and help our children learn the joy of giving and the true meaning of Christmas.

Even children who grow up in a Christian home can get caught up in the commercialism that can surround the holiday. Do you know that some studies have shown that children can be exposed to nearly 40,000 television ads and commercials a year?! These ads are designed to show us products that we just cannot live without. At a young age, children do not possess the ability to distinguish between a need and a want. So guess what, every interesting toy or product they see? They need it, at least in their mind. Try taking your little one
in a toy store this time of year and not buy something. Get ready for a meltdown! I’m not telling you to take down the tree and ban Santa from your home, but how do we teach our children that we should be focused on the ultimate gift of the birth of Jesus and not the latest toy?

Gifts and Christmas usually go hand in hand. So, how should we give? Giving should be about grace. We must teach children that we do not give out of obligation or expectations, but instead to practice selfless giving….giving freely. You cannot give with grace if you are thinking about yourself first. 2 Corinthians 9:7 says, “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful heart.” Show them the joy that can be found in serving and giving to others.

We teach by example. Even as adults, it is easy to get caught in the tornado that is Christmas shopping. All you have to do is watch the news after Black Friday sales to see that. And guess what? Materialistic adults produce materialistic children. We must practice what we preach. Take a look at what your focus is on and you will get a good idea of how you are teaching your child to prioritize.

There is a great line at the end of The Grinch That Stole Christmas that says “Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn’t come from a store…maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.” How else will children learn the true meaning of Christmas if we, as their parents, don’t teach them? Read the Christmas story from the book of Luke, chapter 2. Read it from a children’s bible so it’s on their terms. Use decorations and allow them to help set up a nativity scene in your home. Attend church together as a family and talk about what they experience there. Bake a birthday cake for Jesus and celebrate his birthday. Even a small child will recognize the importance and significance of a birthday! My family has a tradition every Christmas of watching A Charlie Brown Christmas together. It is one of the few television shows that actually uses scripture to explain what Christmas is all about. These are all ways that we can teach our children about the gift of Jesus and the true meaning of Christmas.

Be watching later this month for our next email. We will share some tips and suggestions for teaching your children how to be grateful for what they have and how to encourage them to be joyful givers.

Weekly tweets from you to parents:

TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell twitter to store a list of your tweets in one place for later reference.

Tweet 1 – If you asked your child what Christmas is all about, what would they say? #urchurchparentministry
Tweet 2 – “He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.” ~Roy L. Smith #urchurchparentministry
Tweet 3 – Kids see about 40,000 tv ads/year. Limit tv time and instead invest in quality family time. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet 4 – Teach your children how lucky they are. Do they know the difference between a need and a want? #urchurchparentministry
Tweet 5 – Hebrews 13:16, “Do not neglect to do good and to share what your have for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.”#urchurchparentministry
Tweet 6 – Create the tradition of reading the Christmas story from the book of Luke with your children. #urchurchparentministry
Tweet 7 – You cannot give with grace if you are thinking about yourself first. What is your motivation for giving? #urchurchparentministry
Tweet 8 – Materialistic adults produce materialistic children. Where is your focus this Christmas? #urchurchparentministry
Tweet 9 – Foster gratitude in your children. Ask them for 2-3 good things that happened today.#urchurchparentministry
Tweet 10 – Teach the value of people over possessions. Help them become joyful givers. #urchurchparentministry

10 Keys To Unlocking Better Communication With Parents

What is It?
This resource is 10 things you need to be aware of to make sure you are be effective communicators to the parents in your ministry. Communication is some times one of the hardest things we do. Look over these 10 keys and let us help you become a better communicator.

How do I use it?
This resource is for you! Download it and use the tips to become a better communicator to your parents.

Pass it along to your volunteers or anyone else who has constant communication with your parents and help them to become better communicators as well.

So there you go! I hope this helps to become excellent communicators and leaders in your ministry.

Download Now

Work

How To Get Your Children To Do More Than Play Wii//Cultivating Good Work Habits

Email 1

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Subject line: How to get your kid to do more than play WiiParents,

A new study says kids today are more materialistic, they want MORE than ever before, and they’re less likely to work and study hard for the things they want. We want our children to be responsible, to work hard. In order for them to be responsible, we must give them responsibilities.

How do we teach them to be hard workers, and for that matter, does hard work even matter? Check out this month’s online parenting class to see how to get your kid to do more than play Wii.

https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/109290185/994e8cc62d

In a couple of weeks I’ll be sending you the second installment of how to cultivate good work habits in your children. Maybe a good starting point is thinking through some appropriate chores at home for your child. Do they need more than they currently have, do they need to be pushed to do the current ones better?

Partnering with you,
Children’s Pastor

Email 2

Copy/Paste the following email:

Subject line: Part 2 of Cultivating Good Work Habits in Our Kids

Parents,

W-O-R-K is not a four-letter word, but many kids act like it is. There is a great sense of value that comes from accomplishing something through our labor, but how do we teach this to our children. How do we raise them so they understand the value of hard work?

2 Thessalonians 3:6-15 gives great Biblical perspective on the idea of idleness. Paul can be a brutal guy at times, and in verse 10 of 2 Thessalonians 3 he says, “ If anyone isn’t willing to work, he shouldn’t eat.” Now that’s pretty drastic, but it illustrates the point that being a hard worker is important to God.

It can be tough to teach our little ones a strong work ethic, moving them beyond their cartoons and video screens to engage in a helpful, meaningful way. It starts in the home. In order for children to be responsible we must give them responsibilities to manage. Here are a few ways to communicate responsibility to your child:

Be a role model. Do I skip work because I feel like it, give my all to a project, spend within my means, keep my word?
Don’t continually bail kids out of their responsibilities. They have to eat school lunch if they forget their lunchbox. If you have to pick up their toys, you get to keep them (until they’ve proven responsibility and can have them back).
Give checklists. Kids can get overwhelmed with a verbal to-do list. Write out what you want them to do so they can mark through their accomplishments.

Partnering with you,
Children’s Pastor

Video Script

This month we are going to work together on a issue I know every parent faces. This month we are going to process how we can help our kids do more than just play the Wii! How can we help our kids have good work habits?

As soon as you become a parent you immediately begin to remember all those lessons we hated learning as kids that were actually really good for us. We all have a story about hard work. Our parents pushed us to work hard.

My hard work story goes like this…when I wanted a new pair of Air Jordans, the greatest shoe ever, my mom told me she would pay half if I would pay the other half. I had to work hard for that other half. I bought those shoes with my money and some help from my parents. We all have a story like that but those stories don’t seem to connect often with kids today.

As parents if something really matters we have to help our kids embrace the value. Now that we are parents we know hard work matters. Now that we are parents we have to make the hard choice to help our kids know what hard work is about because many of their friends will not know the value because they are not being taught the value.

Psychologists asked a group of kids, would you rather be gifted or hard working. ALL kids said they’d rather be gifted because everything would be easier. Our generation of parents and kids seem to be obsessed with ability but there is a secret to real success in life. Ability has to be matched with hard work. Even if your child is gifted there will come a time when he will be around people who are just as gifted as him (at Harvard, Julliard), what’s the advantage then. If we’ve parented well, it could be that they know the value of HARD WORK.

This month we want to give you permission to do what in your heart you already know you need to do. We want you to help your child begin to understand that hard work matters. We want you to give your child the greatest advantage they could ever have in the ability to work hard. I am a living example of what hard work can do for a kid. My parents demanded I work hard and they modeled it to me. When I got to school i did not test well but my grades were always in the top. It was not until I was in 5th grade that I realized that it was hard work that was making the difference. I might not have had the best test score on the standardized test but no test could keep me from working hard. That was an advantage.

God is even for hard work. Read Genesis chapter 2 and you will find that when God created man and woman he gave them…are you ready…a job! God asked them to work in paradise. Why…because work is a needed aspect of life because it allows us to create and make things better. We are wired to work!

How can you start to give your kids the hard work advantage this month. Here are a few tips of how to get started…

1. Give each child appropriate chores in the house. // I know you can clean better than your kids can but they need chores if they are going to learn what work is about. Chores have to be age appropriate but they need to discover that being part of a healthy family is work and that work never ends!
2. Hold kids accountable to their responsibilities. // If you ask a kid to be responsible with something then hold them to that expectation. When kids choose not to work hard then we have to allow them to see where that leads. It’s OK to let your kid struggle so they get what hard work is. This month try no bailing your child out of their moments of laziness and see if they start learning the lesson.
3. Leverage allowance to reward hard work. // Every kid enjoys money but giving kids an allowance ties to responsibilities they have is a great way to show kids the value of hard work and the value of managing their resources. Allowance never needs to be automatic it needs to be a part of the rhythm of your home life. Allowance can be a great way to affirm kids that they help make your home flow well and that hard work makes life better at home.

Later in the month you will get another Online Parenting Class email that will help you take another step forward with some practical ideas of how to teach your child about hard work. I know it’s hard in the moment to push your kids work hard but they will thank you when they grow up. Press on!

Weekly tweets from you to parents:

TIP: Choose a hashtag for your tweets and use it consistently. That will tell twitter to store a list of your tweets in one place for later reference.

TWEET #1- Spend some time telling your child one of your HARD WORK stories. Are you giving your child one? #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #2- Motivation gets you started, but habit keeps you going #teachhardwork #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #3-Yes, you clean better than your kids, but still give them chores-teach responsibility! #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #4-There is no secret to success. It’s the result of hard work, preparation, and learning from failure-Colin Powell #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #5- A great lesson for kids: teaching them the VALUE of hard work. #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #6-A great resource for handling allowance-Smart Money Smart Kids by Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze http://amzn.to/1kpBCCz #urchurchparentministry
TWEET #7- Being responsible means others can count on you, you’re a person of your word #teachresponsibility #urchurchparentministry